... to ask if your husband still gives you butterflies

[anxietyaunt]

Feel like a wee kid asking this question but I’m curious to hear from others. I know it’s naive to hope the honeymoon period will never end (ours was spectacular!), but I hear people say they still get butterflies regularly despite being together for many years. We’ve had a lot of ups and downs over the 11 years we’ve been together, but I definitely love my husband and think he’s the spunkiest man alive. Just can’t remember the last time I got butterflies. Anyone?

We're married 21 years next month. We weren't able to have the fab honeymoon back then, but while we seem to be humdrum on a daily basis, and lots of it is very comfortable together rather than fireworks all the time, he still lights my fire in so many ways. (And we did get a really fab holiday when I was 11 weeks PG, she's now mid-teens, and we've had plenty of other fun and adventures in the meantime too).

Yes, absolutely. He is my favourite person ever. I am always happy to see him, and I get butterflies a few times a week. He's a legend.

Yes, we're not married but have been together for 14 years, I still get butterflies sometimes.

@poorbuthappy

Butterflies or fanny gallops?

Maybe I'm being cynical but aren't these the same thing?

Isn't "butterflies" just a polite way of saying you want to have sex with someone?

I know you can feel a warm, loving feeling towards someone which isn't sexual, but that's a whole different ballgame: you can feel that for a parent or a close female friend. "Butterflies" is sexual....

Yes, i still get butterflies. Been together for 21 years.

I’ve been with my husband since we were 15, so nearly 26 years. We started dating in high school and quickly became best friends, doing everything together and going everywhere together. We did the same subjects; degree and post grad. We ended up getting identical jobs in teaching.

He’s a really good man. I find him sexy, he makes me laugh, we enjoy each other’s company. He’s never been away without me and seems to genuinely want me with him. I’ve never once felt suffocated by my husband because it feels no natural for us to be together. We have joint friends we meet up with occasionally, but no independent friends really.

26 years in we still like to look good for each other, he tells me how gorgeous I am and makes me feel beautiful. Our sex life is great, in fact I wish we could have more (I’d like daily, he’s happy with 2-3 times a week since t treatment). He helps around the house, he’s kind and generous. I’m always excited to see him after a day at work. He is an awful cook.

Our days are filled with cuddles; cheeky bum pinching and giggles. I do get butterflies throughout the day for the daftest reasons. I never get bored of him.

I love my husband to absolute bits and I feel loved and secure. But I do worry sometimes that one day it will all end. I couldn’t bare to be without him. I want this forever. He and our son are the most important people in the world to me and although I think the world of my parents and siblings, nieces and nephews...I simply can’t imagine loving anyone more than I love them two.

More moths in our marriage than butterflies these days

He gave me fleas once, does that count?

Yes even after 27 years and 4 kids!

I mean he does but not all the time, I don't have time time for swooning that I did twenty years ago. But yeah, it's around lurking in the background - like coldsores

Not everyday/all day but then I'll watch him when he's not looking with our toddler DD and he'll sometimes, not often send messages professing his love, we'll have a moment in the kitchen dancing & yes I think how lucky I am.

No, mine gives me the rage.

I'm with @icelollycraving. Mine has never given me butterflies, but I've had some seriously bad and an abusive relationships where I have had butterflies throughout and beyond so I don't think it's necessarily a good thing. It can cloud your judgement. I think a lot of people stay in abusive relationships based on strong attraction rather than mutual respect, I can see it all the time on the relationship boards. You can still fall in love with someone without the butterfly thing. I'd rather have a slow burner.

I don’t really know what butterflies means because “butterflies in your tummy” is something I associate with nerves.

Dh is the opposite - he gives me an incredible sense of calm. When I’m with him it feels like everything in just the way it’s supposed to be.

But if it’s a euphemism for sexual attraction, then yes.

Yes. Sometimes I look at him and think "ooh, he's niiiice". 37 years and counting....

Been together over 20 years. Not butterflies, but a lovely warm feeling. Even if he's just been to the shop, I hear the car return and think 'I'm glad he's home'.

@AwaAnBileYerHeid
yes I would say he gives me the rage more than anything else tbh

The OP question does not apply to me but I asked a couple of long married friends and one said no she thinks more of wasps now not butterflies. The other one responded by saying "joking aren't you!?

Yes, we are juggling three children under 7, including a baby, and life is full of mundane tasks. But when I get a moment to actually look at him he still gives me that rushy, hot tingly feeling I had at the start. Been together 16 years. Butterflies the whole time - even when we had rough patches.

We have been together 20 years this year and I still get butterflies and I am always excited when I am out walking and he drives past!

We have been through some pretty rough stuff in the last few years but he has been my rock and I feel so grateful to have him in my life.

Sadly not. Our happy period did last a long time (many years) after we got together, but had started to wane by the time we’ve married. Once DS cake along that really killed much of my feelings for him off.

That sounds so brutal and sad, but it’s true. I do still love him and care for him. But it’s too familiar now to be exciting. And sadly he’s been too much of a let down as a father and husband for me to be that impressed by him anymore.

No and thank god. I was a gibbering wreck when we first got together. I remember standing on the beach in front of Bamburgh castle and he kissed me and I thought I was going to pass out. I literally burned for him and my stomach used to drop if he brushed past me I am so glad that settled down. I sometimes feel like that when we have sex and it's too much, it's almost uncomfortable. It gave me so much anxiety that I really wasn't myself. I hated it haha!

*we married
**came along

No, no physical butterflies. I really, really look forward to him coming home and can't wait to see him each day though. We message throughout the day when he is on break which is a highlight of my day. Together 13 years.

No, can’t wait until he’s six feet under 🤣🤣🤣