Home-schooling pushed ex-Marine to "breaking point"

[Ori2021]

Has anyone else read this story on BBC news? Parents are victims of this pandemic too. The toll on parent's mental health is really bad; this article just highlights it. I don't know what could be done to support people like this man, and parents in general like me, but I find it amazing that parents have just been told "get on with it," and quite literally, flung under the bus. It's damaging people's relationships with their own children.

Good on this man for telling the truth about his experience. It is AWFUL trying to home-school, and work at the same time. Some people are managing well, and hopefully there is light at the end of the tunnel but I do think the Govt. need to think of a way to recognise the daily struggle that parents and families and their children are facing.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-55723022

".....lost both legs and an arm when he stepped on an improvised explosive device..............He said........... teaching two of his children was one of his "most traumatic memories".

My eyes are sore from the eye roll at that one 🙄

Yes it is bloody tough. We all know it is tough for parents homeschooling, for elderly in care homes not seeing family close up for nearly a year, for single people, for those who have lost their jobs, for those who cant work and are getting no financial support, for those who may lose their home, for those with mental or physical health problems, for those putting themselves at risk in their daily jobs etc etc etc AND for those in hospital, have long covid or organ damage or those who have lost someone to covid.

But comparing losing limbs so traumatically to schooling your own children for a few weeks, especially when you are sending them to school during this lockdown loses you all credibility.

Christ, aren’t marines supposed to be tougher than that?
Maybe that’s why it’s mostly mums doing the homeschooling.

@emptydreamer I'm not sure I'd respond well to someone telling me to make sure I took time for myself either. Like telling someone struggling to work out how to pay bills and whether to prioritise food or heating to remember to treat themselves.

Dear Lord. So someone who hasn't has their legs blown off is qualified to decide how someone who HAS is entitled to feel about it?

This thread...

@GypsyLee You are a genuinely pathetic, miserable, sanctimonious and nasty person. Maybe one day life with throw a really unpleasant curveball at you, that you were definitely not expecting but 'hey' just fucking get on with it and stop moaning!

Yeah, it's tough. And yet when teachers say 'I am struggling to do live teaching with children at home' we are called lazy fuckers and our professionalism is questioned.

" Parents have been quite literally flung under the bus" ?????????????

  No wonder some of them can't  get on with  home education.

Everyone is struggling. My daughter had a massive melt down last night. The reason being I had 4 hours of live lessons/ teams meetings which meant she had to be on her own. As a parent I'm struggling. The government don't care.

@Watchingbehindmyhands

Yeah, it's tough. And yet when teachers say 'I am struggling to do live teaching with children at home' we are called lazy fuckers and our professionalism is questioned.

I know, I've seen the teacher bashing that goes on on here FWIW I admired teachers hugely even before the pandemic, as it's a job I could never do. I'm extremely thankful for my DS's school right now, and his teachers!

[quote JesusInTheCabbageVan]**@Brunt0n* How’s the weather up there on your pedestal? Had any snow? *

Hoping for a well-timed lightning strike, personally.[/quote]
Ha at this

It’s in most threads too

I’m not sure of the relevance of the “ex-Marine” angle

because, presumably, it means he is used to being under extreme pressure. He's not comparing it to having his limbs blown off - he's just being used of an example of someone used to massive stress experiencing a different type of stress that gives him the same symptoms.

You know, to make people realise that it is stressful and that it is being acknowledged.

Honest I think he is being over dramatic,
he has two primary aged children. The average school day is 6.5 hours.
When you take out lunchtime, breaks, assembly, PE, toilet breaks, art, drama school plays, teacher telling off naughty children, explaining yet again how to do something to those children not paying attention, then the average child only spends about an hour a day actually learning.
Split that into three 20 minute segments one to one, shared with his partner. Get the kids out for a walk/bike ride covers the PE.
Ok that won’t be perfect but surely good enough at that age? Xx

I’m not sure of the relevance of the “ex-Marine” angle

Me neither. Its a nightmare for people in the middle of the situation but on the rare occasions I see this angle on the pandemic covered its nearly always a father, rarely a mother despite women bearing the bulk of the additional workload.

Presumably its a case of dog bites man is not a story, man bites dog gets the attention.

"Yoohoo, Mr Quadruple Amputee? We've got some mums over here who think you're making a big fuss about nothing. What's that? No, they're fine, no war trauma and they've mostly got all their limbs. They're just pretty sure they know better."

@Watchingbehindmyhands

Yeah, it's tough. And yet when teachers say 'I am struggling to do live teaching with children at home' we are called lazy fuckers and our professionalism is questioned.

This.

(OK, triple rather than quadruple, but I feel my point still stands.)

I do genuinely find it distasteful that people are sneering at this man.

It’s an utterly shit and stressful situation and I think we’re all feeling the pressure in different ways. I’m homeschooling two dc while working from home in a demanding role and finishing my Msc. I barely have a moment to myself, I’m struggling to stay on top of the housework, paying extra for a maths tutor as I feel so guilty about the standard of home ed (our school haven’t been great, just worksheets via an app, zero teaching or interaction so all of it has been on me) and dh is out of the house easily 10-12 hours a day in his job. But we have both kept our jobs, I’m lucky enough to be able to mostly stay home, we don’t have any health worries and the dc are of an age where they are mostly happy to be home with me and not too difficult to engage in learning. Everybody has it tough in different ways, it’s going to be a struggle for a little while longer and we just need to hold on and stop ripping each other apart.

@RickiTarr

Same. The one I saw had an almost complete de gloving of one leg. Older lady. Around 85. So much thinner skin.

The reality is it is a total non-story. It is the story of millions of people right now. 2 parent family has to fit in homeschooling and their own work from home. There are people worse off and people better off. I am not sure what the actual purpose of reporting on what this one family is going through is.

[quote Lorieandrews]@RickiTarr

Same. The one I saw had an almost complete de gloving of one leg. Older lady. Around 85. So much thinner skin.[/quote]
Awful. Maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned it but OP saying “literally thrown under the bus” made me see red a bit.

Yes @JesusInTheCabbageVan, no one should sneer, it IS distasteful. We just need to have some empathy for each other. It’s hard for everyone, particularly parents and especially lone parents. Most of my friends and colleagues with children work until very late at night whether we are in a pandemic or not and the pandemic has made it even harder. It’s a difficult time for families - whatever the parents’ occupation. It’s way harder if you have physical and mental health issues to contend with as well.

@Fairyliz

Honest I think he is being over dramatic, he has two primary aged children. The average school day is 6.5 hours. When you take out lunchtime, breaks, assembly, PE, toilet breaks, art, drama school plays, teacher telling off naughty children, explaining yet again how to do something to those children not paying attention, then the average child only spends about an hour a day actually learning. Split that into three 20 minute segments one to one, shared with his partner. Get the kids out for a walk/bike ride covers the PE. Ok that won’t be perfect but surely good enough at that age? Xx

I home educate my children. Have done for many years. I agree. We do 2 hrs a day. Which is roughly what they do at school. Little minds find it hard to stay focused longer than that. We cut it up into 45 mins segments. We do maths daily. English daily. Then pick one more subject. Which is usually science. As my kids adore it.

Then in the afternoon we go out for w long walk. Usually round to my mums (she’s a single person and bubbled with us due to her mental health). Then that’s it. Job done.

I do have to say it’s hard work though at first. It does get easier once you find your flow. Lots of people unschool here. Or do forest schools. We don’t. We follow the curriculum in our household. But it does get easier. Once you find your stride. Though I do feel that school children are under massive pressure to ‘keep up’ which homeschooling parents don’t. Plus you’ve got to remember that teachers have little gems that are great for teaching certain things. Little tips and tricks. That was the hardest for me. But we have a tutor too so I get my tips and tricks from him. But there is things in the net. There is a wealth of information out there which can be tricky to find and needs time spent in it

Maths sphere is a great one if people get stuck. Teachers use it apparently and we find it very easy to read etc.

@Ori2021

I'm just making the point that I think it was brave of this man to publicise his experience of home-schooling.

No you're not. Your opening gambit was that 'parents are victims' and that the government needs to do something to 'recognise the daily struggle'.

Pull yourself together. There's no one that this is a walk in the park for, one way or another.

Stuck working from home? Or not WFH and having to go to work?

Furloughed? Not furloughed?

Stuck at home with family and feeling the pressure of being together too much? Or stuck at home alone and not seeing anyone?

Made redundant? Or not made redundant but rushed off your feet at work and stressed by that?

YABU to think that having kids at home isn't just another part of this shit show we're all living through.

@Brefugee

I’m not sure of the relevance of the “ex-Marine” angle

because, presumably, it means he is used to being under extreme pressure. He's not comparing it to having his limbs blown off - he's just being used of an example of someone used to massive stress experiencing a different type of stress that gives him the same symptoms.

You know, to make people realise that it is stressful and that it is being acknowledged.

This. Marines are trained to cope and function optimally under extreme stress. It’s designed to illustrate just how stressful and difficult homeschooling has been for some families.