To take a 3 year old to the Ritz at 17:30?

[PreschoolattheRitz]

We've been invited by grandparents at the end of April.

I've been multiple times. I would be fuming if someone brought a disruptive child and didn't remove them immediately from the room. However I have actually never seen a child there. It's always been a perfectly nice experience.

Not sure a child would like to be sitting down, quietly, for an hour and a half. As for the price, it's not cheap but you can think of it as replacing a dinner out as you get so much food that you will not be having dinner that day.

I found chips and then ice cream worked for us. And everyone wanted to talk to the kids actually, they were not annoyed by their presence

Ha! No way. My kid would hate it. I would hate it. The people on the surrounding tables would hate it.

Find a nice babysitter, go to the Ritz and enjoy being a grown up and then take DCs to Pizza Hut the following week and let them load up on pepperoni and ice cream sundaes....

Knowing my specific child, my anxiety about certain things, the timing, the venue and my husbands feelings on it all it's just a huge no for us

That’s that, then. And I don’t blame you! But I think what this thread has shown is that it wasn’t a completely ridiculous idea in the generality of things; all kids are different. My DD1 would have loved it: a night owl, with a real love of doing anything she saw as “grown up”. My DD2 - I might have thought twice. If you don’t think it will suit your son so we’ll, then just explain that. Thank them for the kind offer and lovely idea, but explain that the timing and venue might be problematic for your son. I don’t see how anyone could take huge offence at that.

@NataliaOsipova

Knowing my specific child, my anxiety about certain things, the timing, the venue and my husbands feelings on it all it's just a huge no for us

That’s that, then. And I don’t blame you! But I think what this thread has shown is that it wasn’t a completely ridiculous idea in the generality of things; all kids are different. My DD1 would have loved it: a night owl, with a real love of doing anything she saw as “grown up”. My DD2 - I might have thought twice. If you don’t think it will suit your son so we’ll, then just explain that. Thank them for the kind offer and lovely idea, but explain that the timing and venue might be problematic for your son. I don’t see how anyone could take huge offence at that.

No not a ridiculous idea for many, but my child's grandparents do know what he's like so in that sense..... maybe a little ridiculous..... mayyyybe?!

I suspect your in laws are like mine, book things without consultation for what they will enjoy and on the surface seem really nice. They insist the grandchildren are there, despite not having considered them when making the arrangements (in terms of time or venue) and won't engage with them for longer than 5 minutes leaving DH and I to manage them over a long drawn out meal in an unsuitable venue.

My kids can do 45minutes to an hour if food comes quickly and they are well engaged, but that's on a normal/ good day. Get them tired, after a long journey (such as to visit PIL) and it's a different story.

@AlternativePerspective

Right, having looked at their site the prices start from £53 per person. But the wording about how trying their 18 different tea’s and a fine selection of freshly cut sandwiches, with scones and clotted cream and preserves.... come on. Do people really think it’s the kind of experience which a 3 year old is going to get something from?

I’ve always fancied going somewhere for afternoon tea but looking through that lot it’s so bloody pretentious.

They do cater for young children, at £35, who of course would not be interested in different teas (no apostrophe necessary, 'teas' is plural), or even tea; they'd be offered a soft drink. Sandwiches, scones and preserves with clotted cream are loved by most, absolutely nothing pretentious about that. Cream teas are lovely!

The op doesn't want to go because it will interfere with her child's bedtime.

@LizFlowers and various other issues as I've described. Bedtime being the least of my concerns

but my child's grandparents do know what he's like so in that sense..... maybe a little ridiculous..... mayyyybe?!

But then why the drama about it? If they know what he’s like, then surely a “lovely idea, but you know what DS is like at that time?” will suffice? You’ve asked for opinions on a topic and those opinions differ. This implies there is no universal right/wrong on the issue. You’ve clearly already made your mind up - very definitely. That’s absolutely fine; clearly you know your own son, but I don’t see the point of posting if you’re going to react snippily to anyone who doesn’t hold exactly the same opinion....

@NataliaOsipova

but my child's grandparents do know what he's like so in that sense..... maybe a little ridiculous..... mayyyybe?!

But then why the drama about it? If they know what he’s like, then surely a “lovely idea, but you know what DS is like at that time?” will suffice? You’ve asked for opinions on a topic and those opinions differ. This implies there is no universal right/wrong on the issue. You’ve clearly already made your mind up - very definitely. That’s absolutely fine; clearly you know your own son, but I don’t see the point of posting if you’re going to react snippily to anyone who doesn’t hold exactly the same opinion....

The thread wasn't particularly 100% serious..

And I've explained that they won't like us declining.

Oh god no. I couldn’t guarantee a stress free trip to McDonald’s at that age and my ds LOVED McDonald’s.

@ClangingChimesofDoom

Did I read that correctly? You'd rather the whole country was in lockdown with people unable to see their families and losing their incomes so that you don't have to decline an invitation to tea at The Ritz?

I believe its called "a joke"

Must be a new invention yet to be embraced by Mumsnet.

It would be a much better idea to get them to take you to tea in the first floor Parlour at Fortnum and Mason and then (if you can get a baby sitter) have adults drinks in the Rivoli Bar at the Ritz. I went there about 15 years ago and the champagne was about £100 a bottle even then!

@AlternativePerspective

I wonder how many of the people who are telling the OP that she’s being unreasonable have ever actually been to the ritz with a 3 year old or who have been there while someone else’s 3 year old acts like, you know, a 3 year old...

If I remember rightly tea at the ritz is around £70 per person, definitely more than £50. It’s one thing putting up with someone else’s kids complaining at Pizza Hut or even the local pub, even your own kids. It’s quite another when you have paid triple figures for a family to go somewhere with a nice atmosphere and either your or someone else’s toddler is behaving like a toddler.

And a toddler doesn’t have to be having a full on tantrum for a place to not be suitable for them.

I have been in many of the highly rated afternoon tea London venues with babies, toddlers, young children and older children present. The older children were the worst by far!

Omg I think I need to unsubscibe

Isnt it supposed to be a wonderful treat? If so then 3 year old needs to stay home so you can savour every moment

God no

The thing is you know it's not really suitable for your 3 year old child as do a lot of people on this thread. It's just a shame that the great grandparents who booked this "treat" booked it more with a view of how lovely for their generation and for their own children - your husband's parents. It seems a generational thing to me but woefully out of kilter with what parents of an average 3 year old would want.

Now if they had booked lunch for you all at the Rainforest Cafe then I could see the logic and appeal, but frankly not for afternoon tea at The Ritz. It's just too ritzy, glitzy and stuffy. Far more suited for their age group than you with your 3 year old.

It just doesn't work for you and whilst a generous present it doesn't really work in its current format of a 3 year old who has not been experiencing restaurant style outings with all the associated pomp that tea at The Ritz brings. In many respects it's quite a thoughtless present.

Under the circumstances surely it would be better if your DH goes alone with his parents or you both go as a couple but leave your DC being entertained at home by another family member or whatever suitable. April also seems quite early in amongst everything going on. Could it be suggested that Summertime might be more appropriate? That could then possibly involve you all meeting up in Green Park for an afternoon walk prior to them and your DH going for tea whilst you might prefer to toddle off home?

Your MIL and FIL can be as peeved as they want, but a severe lack of thought has been given to this.

Haven’t R all of TFT but why not have afternoon tea earlier somewhere cheaper? Patisserie Valerie on Piccadilly does great cakes and is a bit more relaxed. If your in-laws insist on staying at the Ritz - they can walk along and meet you there mid-afternoon. Assuming anything in central London is open by then

Yes. Next.

Depends. I took my 3 year old daughter to the Ritz for afternoon tea. She sat still and quietly chatted to us and played with her doll, in her seat, while the adults were talking (this was my 30th). I took my 3 year old son to Pizza Hut and he pulled down some lighting, bit the chair leg then ran away and hid under someone else’s table - I had to give up and take him home before we even got our food. Depends on the kid!! And pleeeaase no one boast about how good their kid is because you’ll only get a beastly child for your second one

my son would have been fine - in his element in fact. My daughter, as nice as her manners are would have been bored to death after 20mins so a no. It will completely depend on your child.

As a rule, I don't mind kids in restaurants and used to take my own when they were little. (I found that the crucial thing was to include them in the conversation and not just talk over their heads to the other adults. If they felt ignored, they played up.) However, we never went anywhere particularly upmarket, because we are poor and quite common.

But the Ritz... One of our DDs treated me and my DH to tea there, for a special birthday. As we're not used to posh places, I was a bit anxious but it was lovely. I have got to admit that I would have been a bit pissed-off if there had been overtired little kids there, kicking off. And from the child's viewpoint, I would think it would be as boring as hell.

Might it work if you went earlier in the day?
We took our DD there for Afternoon Tea at 3.30pm when she was 3 and she loved it - the staff made a real fuss of her - made her special sandwiches and gave her a teddy

Unless child is unruly, it's absolutely fine. Presumably DC has been to cafés (albeit not for nearly a year 🙄😷). It's really no different. My DC were fine in restaurants etc at that age. I did know some unruly and unparented children who would crawl under tables or wander around but most are okay. Just take a colouring book.