To take a 3 year old to the Ritz at 17:30?

[PreschoolattheRitz]

We've been invited by grandparents at the end of April.

For one occasion you'd make it work. Nap during the afternoon. Light lunch etc.

Yeah. Because it's easy to FORCE a person to go to sleep in the afternoon when they don't want to...!

*I don't understand parents incapable of deviating from a schedule and catering to a slightly different timescale.

You don't understand why I would want to travel back from central London at 8pm with an overtired toddler?

*We have managed afternoon tea with all of the children in our family in our family at many venues.

Good for you.

*I imagine that the 530 slot is due to the lack of availability at other times.

Then another date could have been booked. There's nothing special about the end of April.

*You sound ungrateful. I'd have thought that after this last year, having this to. Look forward to would be lovely!

Maybe I am ungrateful but the point is, this wouldn't be a treat for me or my husband. It was just be stressful.

@Bluesheep8

Not to jinx everyone else but I'm hoping for lockdown to continue.

Did I read that correctly? You'd rather the whole country was in lockdown with people unable to see their families and losing their incomes so that you don't have to decline an invitation to tea at The Ritz?

Tongue in cheek. Ever heard of it?

@Letsrunabath

I would have taken both my children. Many moons ago we took a last minute long weekend in a country house hotel with my 2 year old son and 3.5 year old daughter. On 2 of the 3 nights at dinner other elderly guests came and commented on how well behaved they were at the table. (I was very proud). They were typicall kids pretty feral when out playing but understood a time and place.

@Iwonder08

OP, what's the problem? You don't want to go either way, your husband thinks it is a bad idea, he can tell his parents your 3 yo is not Ritz friendly and neither of you will enjoy it. I personally would do it, they have lots of space, you don't have to keep him seated all the time. 16.30 probably would be a better time, but given you don't want to go either way it is irrelevant

Because it'll cause drama when we decline

Good luck with delivering the news OP! Tell us how it goes ...

I really don’t know why you’ve felt the need to be so rude to those who have said they would take their DC.

You don’t want to / it’s not appropriate for your DC. Fine. Own it. You know your DC and your circumstances and don’t feel it’s appropriate. That doesn’t mean anyone who has answered your original questions differently is wrong. Everyone is answering based on their own DC.

There's just no pleasing some people. Tea at the Ritz as a family, no one left out. I feel awful for the grandparents who probably think, like most people, it's something to look forward to and the memory would be cherished, but oh no let's talk shit about their treat to make me feel better about not being arsed to travel home at the ungodly hour of 8 o'clock and have to parent my own child in a social but very normal setting.

No way. Not relaxing for you. Irritating for others. Irritating for the child.

I took my daughter to the Sloane club when she was three. Had to keep my eye on her the whole time and it was quite stressful. It was a bit “stuffy” and I felt uncomfortable as my dd was chatty and loud

I was just thinking about the difference between my two DC (DC1 would have been a yes, DC2 a NO) and temperament definitely comes into it but also experience.

DC2 was born when DC1 was 2.5y. We were also in the middle of a long building project at our home. So we spent a LOT of my mat leave in out and about eating lunch in cafes (admittedly often the cafe in the supermarket not the Ritz). At least 3x a week. So he knew the drill.

DC2 is now 3.5y and has been in a cafe a grand total of ONE time in the last year. He just doesn’t have the experience and couldn’t be expected to behave in the way DC1 would have done.

Sticking a 3 year old who has been in lockdown for months into the Ritz isn’t the ideal conditions for impeccable behaviour.

You did ask in AIBU OP. Lots of people do take kids to tea at the Ritz and if the grandparents have been before they I'll have seen this and thought it would be nice for you all. You fairly obviously don't like your DHs side of the family and have chose to make a thread to sneer at them instead of suggesting moving the time or even venue if you simply can't bear the Ritz.

God OP, you're so pissy with people with a different opinion to you. You were clearly never going to go anyway, so none of what's said makes any difference but, for what it's worth, some children would cope ok with it and be able to have 1 late night in their lives!

@goldielockdown2

There's just no pleasing some people. Tea at the Ritz as a family, no one left out. I feel awful for the grandparents who probably think, like most people, it's something to look forward to and the memory would be cherished, but oh no let's talk shit about their treat to make me feel better about not being arsed to travel home at the ungodly hour of 8 o'clock and have to parent my own child in a social but very normal setting.

It's a lovely idea in theory but they just haven't thought about how it would actually work, and will be cross when we decline.

That's the issue.

*Sticking a 3 year old who has been in lockdown for months into the Ritz isn’t the ideal conditions for impeccable behaviour.

This is definitely a factor. We've eaten out once (in an empty, very child friendly gastro pub at 11:30) in a whole year.

My 3 year old would be fine. Sounds like a lovely treat to me if all of this has died down slightly by then!
But, you don’t want to go so just tell them. Could you ask to change the time to lunch if that’s better?

Honestly, I think children / toddlers who are relatively close to central London are more used to this kind of thing and it wouldn't be a big deal for many of them.

But do what you want, I don't get why people ask if they are so against something - you are capable of making your own minds up surely as parents?

Family - we've booked something your dc hates at a time they'd normally be winding down for bed and grouchy where everyone else will have paid a small fortune to enjoy the ambience of the pianist/string quartet.

Op - dc will hate this. We will hate this as we'll be so stressed

MN - you sound ungrateful.

It's not a treat for the op or her family. It's a treat for the grandparents who expect everyone to bend to their whim.

If they're going to get arsey about the op and family not coming maybe talk to them first and figure out something that WILL work for everyone.

**Family - we've booked something your dc hates at a time they'd normally be winding down for bed and grouchy where everyone else will have paid a small fortune to enjoy the ambience of the pianist/string quartet.

Op - dc will hate this. We will hate this as we'll be so stressed. **

This is about the size of it unfortunately

I don't know, I guess one person'a 'bending to a whim' is another's turning up to a restaurant, having a meal together then going home. Some people don't see it as a logistical nightmare, but a normal thing to do.

@goldielockdown2

I don't know, I guess one person'a 'bending to a whim' is another's turning up to a restaurant, having a meal together then going home. Some people don't see it as a logistical nightmare, but a normal thing to do.

In a couple of years, yes indeed. Just not now

My oldest Dd would of been fine as she would of sat happily doing sticker books but her 3 year old sister would not.
She would taste the food and if not to her preschooler standards would spit it out saying how revolting it was in a loud voice plus she’s a weirdo who hates chocolate so that would also be spat out.

If it’s close to bedtime or after, your just setting your kid up to fail.

@goldielockdown2

I don't know, I guess one person'a 'bending to a whim' is another's turning up to a restaurant, having a meal together then going home. Some people don't see it as a logistical nightmare, but a normal thing to do.

I think it's more the fact the op has said it will cause friction.

It would be fine to book it and suggest it as an option for the op and NOT be pissed if she doesn't come. But that doesn't seem to be the case here.

OP, almost every single reply of yours is batting back suggestions as to why it could work, or defending your reasons for why you think it won't.

Your mind is well and truly made up, so why are you even posting on here? Odd.

Does it have to be The Ritz? You could have a more family-friendly but still quite posh afternoon tea at Fortnum and Mason or Liberty.

I see The Ritz has a 3.30 slot. Would that work better?

@Constantfacepalm

OP, almost every single reply of yours is batting back suggestions as to why it could work, or defending your reasons for why you think it won't.

Your mind is well and truly made up, so why are you even posting on here? Odd.

Don't know really