Am I just being incredibly mean?

[Tiredandstressed9]

I’ve name changed for this one.

I am very stressed at work. I don’t stop. Never have time for breaks or lunch. Work well over my hours daily to get my tasks completed.

Anyway, I had a meeting with my manager this morning. One of my colleagues is going through a rough patch and she really is. Her mum has been diagnosed with breast cancer and will now start treatment. They have no idea how bad it is yet.

To support my colleague, my manager has reduced her work load, but given it to me.

I feel completely pissed off about it.

On the one hand, I really feel badly for this lady. On the other hand, the additional work will affect my time with my family and adds to my stress.

My chest feels like it’s being crushed and I feel sick with the stress and additional work.

There is no one else to share the additional workload. Just me and this lady. There is no ‘timeline’ for how long this will be expected of me.

Am I being spiteful even resenting this?
I feel terrible.

the colleague is not the point.
OP said she herself already had too much to do.
this reminds me of when a fellow student borrowed money off me, for 3 weeks waiting for her grant, so that she could commute to college. 3 months later, no sign of the money, and she used to waste money buying pens, cakes and coffees.
she then wrote to me over xmas asking to borrow more. i felt guilty, being young but wrote back saying i could not lend her any more money and furthermore i must ask for the return of the £300 that i had lent her at the beginning of last term.
i later found out that she did this all the time, with everyone.
OP, your boss has a duty of care towards you, to mange you properly, and cover the work load reasonably. this is part of health and safety at work. it is not merely physical hazards.
now is the time to join a union.

YANBU. It sounds harsh and I feel mean for saying it- but your colleagues situation is not your problem, however bad you feel for her.
If it's affecting her to that extent, then they need to find another person to pick up some of her workload, or the manager needs to do some of it.

I have had cancer twice now. I have a family member with terminal cancer. Unless the colleague herself has cancer, there is absolutely no reason she gets time off for months. She may be given as a good will gesture a few appointments to go to with her mother, but ab solely nothing else. Say no.

@gutful

Am confused why the colleague needs to be relieved of duties because her mum has cancer - she hasn’t even started treatment yet! I also think your colleague is taking the piss. Everyone has issues in their personal life. Work is work. Is your colleague expecting to be relieved of duties for the entire duration of her mother’s cancer battle?

But surely you recognise that sometimes people are experiencing things that have such an impact on them psychologically that it leaves them struggling to cope and affects their functioning in other parts of their lives?

Your colleague is totally reasonable for needing a reduced workload at the moment, but the burden for picking that work up should not be placed on you.

Your over worked and you need your breaks.. no matter how hard or pressure it is not worth going with out.
You need to talk to management
Why can a temp worker not be arranged?

@Athinginitself I can understand needing to take a day off work for the shock to settle & time off to attend appointments, but not to be relieved of duties at work over it, no.

@gutful Maybe it depends on your job to a degree, but I work in mental health, if I was very distressed about something in my life that might make it impossible for me to do my job as usual; to focus, deal with very difficult situations, empathise etc it would be a reasonable plan for me to have a reduced workload for a period of time as an alternative to me not being at work at all.

@Athinginitself the OP has an office job it sounds like, she isn’t a mental health worker.