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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

It's only a bottle of wine...?

109 replies

homeschoollegend · 18/01/2021 11:35

A friend of mine sent me a nice bottle of wine as a Christmas gift. I put it in the fridge at Christmas, but haven't fancied drinking it yet.

My OH stayed up late last night and I've just noticed that the bottle (it's quite an unusual shape, so distinctive) is in the recycling, empty. I'm pissed off that he's opened it without asking me if he can have some and that he drank the whole bottle so I couldn't even try it. He's still asleep so I haven't talked to him yet.

YABU- it's only a bottle of wine, get over yourself, woman.

YANBU- he's a selfish arse and needs to make amends.

OP posts:
SaltedCarmel · 18/01/2021 11:39

YANBU it was your gift. I'd be gutted that he had it all without asking me. Wait for all the "he's an alcoholic" posts now though mind. 🙄

BestestBrownies · 18/01/2021 11:41

At least he didn't refill the bottle with some inferior shite and wait for you to discover it, briefly think your friend had gifted you something grim and THEN realise the fucker had necked the whole lot himself.

Make the greedy cunt replace it.

ContessaDiPulpo · 18/01/2021 11:41

I would be pissed off with that. I would also say that my DH does struggle to stop drinking/drinks when bored/has had to attend AA before, and this is the sort of thing he used to do (and defend angrily) a lot. So I wouldn't necessarily consider it as normal behaviour, whatever the preceding poster thinks!

contrmary · 18/01/2021 11:43

If it's one incident, it's not worth getting wound up over. If it's part of a pattern of selfishness and abuse, leave him.

BarbaraofSeville · 18/01/2021 11:45

It depends on whether he plans to replace it. If you ask him about it and straight away he says 'sorry, he didn't want to disturb you and will get you another soon' and he actually does, that's fine.

However, if he doesn't replace it, YANBU. Probably also relevant if he makes a habit of this. If you're one of those people who never gets any of the nice food and drink because it's inhaled by the people you live with before you get chance, then chances are this is just another in a long line of similar behaviour that gets wearing after a while.

StrawBeretMoose · 18/01/2021 11:45

I'd not be impressed and would expect an apology and a replacement.
And I wouldn't share the replacement!

livefornaps · 18/01/2021 11:46

It depends what you usually have in the house.

If a bottle of wine is a noticeable addition to the fridge, then it's blatently a high ticket item.

If a bottle of wine is usual fridge booty, it may be harder to tell.

Either way, I would be pissed off and I would tell him that if he's going to be guzzling an entire bottle by himself after hours, then not to be surprised when you don't fancy shagging his stinking boozy flabby gut anymore. Compounded by booze farts. Ugh.

ShirleyPhallus · 18/01/2021 11:46

@contrmary

If it's one incident, it's not worth getting wound up over. If it's part of a pattern of selfishness and abuse, leave him.
Completely agree with this

We have quite a lot of nice wine in our house which I couldn’t remember what is gifts / what we’ve bought for ourselves etc. I really wouldn’t mind DH drinking a bottle bought for me as we have plenty others.

BUT he isn’t a selfish arse and he doesn’t have an alcohol problem so we’d probably laugh at getting through a bottle rather than worrying he has a secret problem

Redlocks28 · 18/01/2021 11:47

I’d be cross if anyone ate/drunk/used a present that was for me-be it a box of chocolates, bottle of wine, bath bomb, anything-it’s really very rude!

CherryBlossomTree7 · 18/01/2021 11:47

He should not have done that. It was a present to you.

Very selfish behaviour.

whatsoccuringnow · 18/01/2021 11:47

Yep, something my 'DH' would do and it would piss me off. But when in the mood he will drink anything, he once drank all my pink gin mixed with coke as there was nothing else. But he has a drink problem.....if this is a one off I'd just tell him to replace it.

Original poster
homeschoollegend · 18/01/2021 11:54

Thanks for replies so far! It's really rare for us to have a bottle of rose in the fridge. He normally has red wine, which I don't touch, and he knew it was a gift to me from my friend as he commented on the bottle when I opened it.

I think it's more thoughtlessness than deliberate selfishness, but those saying it depends how he reacts when I bring it up later are spot-on.

OP posts:
Palava57 · 18/01/2021 11:58

This is such bad behaviour to take something belonging to someone else. It's up to you to iniciate sharing something that was a gift to you and he should not have even started it never mind finish it all by himself! Being considerate in these matters was a conversation i had with my DC mid teens...

BarbaraofSeville · 18/01/2021 11:59

I'm now wondering what it is. Rose in a distinctive bottle could either be Mateus rose, which is very cheap and a little unfashionable.

However, I also have a couple of bottles of rose in tall, slim bottles that were about £15 each in Waitrose, so if he's drunk something like that, and it's more than you normally spend, it will serve him right when he has to replace it Smile.

VeganVeal · 18/01/2021 12:03

A bit rude, but share and share alike, its only a bottle of wine, and if it the wine with a bent neck its not that expensive, he can replace it surely? Covid rules permitting of course

Original poster
homeschoollegend · 18/01/2021 12:04

Ha... not Mateus. It was in a tall bottle, with curved shoulders but flaring out into a square shaped bottom. Pretty and looked fancy!

OP posts:
ChikiTIKI · 18/01/2021 12:07

That was very rude and also an excessive amount to drink on his own in a short time.

cherrypie111 · 18/01/2021 12:19

Eh I wouldn't be too bothered by this, you've left it in the fridge for a while now so I can see why he might have thought you weren't interested in it.

rabbitheadlights · 18/01/2021 12:20

Is this the one ?

It's only a bottle of wine...?
Whaleandsnail6 · 18/01/2021 12:26

It depends. I would expect it replaced before my next night off work incase I fancied a glass then and I'd want him to acknowledge that he was going to buy me another without me bringing it up first.
If he just ignored what he had done and had no intention of replacing it, then I'd be annoyed.
I must admit, I often dive into the kids chocolate stash if I know I'm going to replace what I've eaten before they notice!

LApprentiSorcier · 18/01/2021 12:27

YANBU - it was a gift to you.

blahblahmeh · 18/01/2021 12:34

He needs to get online and replace it for you and in future lay off your gifts unless offered.
My bosses buy me wine/fizz and chocolates for my birthday/Christmas and my husband has never been near them unless offered. Same as i don't eat/drink his gifts unless he offers

Original poster
homeschoollegend · 18/01/2021 13:07

@rabbitheadlightsabbit, that's it! Thanks for finding it- he can get me a new bottle!

@cherrypie111, is 3 weeks a long time not to drink wine?

OP posts:
Oreservoir · 18/01/2021 13:08

I got the rage just reading this. It’s a really thoughtless act.
My dh would never open rosé or white wine for himself as he only drinks red.
He did eat my cold pizza once although he doesn’t like cold pizza. Apparently it was preferable to cooking. I was jolly annoyed.

MimiDaisy11 · 18/01/2021 13:09

I agree that it's rude but perhaps it was the only thing to drink and he really fancied a drink and plans to replace it today? That wouldn't bother me that much if he apologies and replaces it. Like others have said if this is a pattern or a one off then that matters.

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