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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

It's only a bottle of wine...?

109 replies

homeschoollegend · 18/01/2021 11:35

A friend of mine sent me a nice bottle of wine as a Christmas gift. I put it in the fridge at Christmas, but haven't fancied drinking it yet.

My OH stayed up late last night and I've just noticed that the bottle (it's quite an unusual shape, so distinctive) is in the recycling, empty. I'm pissed off that he's opened it without asking me if he can have some and that he drank the whole bottle so I couldn't even try it. He's still asleep so I haven't talked to him yet.

YABU- it's only a bottle of wine, get over yourself, woman.

YANBU- he's a selfish arse and needs to make amends.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 18/01/2021 14:29

Honestly this would only bother me if he didn’t replace it. For me, if he fancied wine and this was all there was I think it’s fine to have it if he replaces it for you.

littlepattilou · 18/01/2021 14:32

YANBU. I would have been pissed off.

Thedarknightsaredrawingin · 18/01/2021 14:33

I would be annoyed as it was a gift. I would happily share however he might surprise you and have ordered a replacement.

His increased consumption and sleep pattern is something he should keep an eye on.

MasterBeth · 18/01/2021 14:36

He should have asked but as long as he replaces it it’s no big deal.

RandomUsernameHere · 18/01/2021 14:50

Is there any chance he forgot it was a gift? I know you said he commented on it at the time you received it, but Christmas was quite a while ago now. I know my DH would easily forget something like that.

Original poster
homeschoollegend · 18/01/2021 15:45

Well... he's admitted that he knew it was a gift but that he had run out of wine last night and it was the only wine we had in the house. He's tried to reason that I don't drink much, so what's the point in just keeping it around.

I also said that I am upset that he didn't even leave me a glass to taste, but drank the whole thing. He made no offer to replace it, but I sent him the damn link anyway and told him he needs to buy me another one.

OP posts:
TeaAndBrie · 18/01/2021 16:03

I had exactly the same situation a while ago. I had helped a friend emotionally and the bought me a bottle from a uk vineyard that their friend runs so not easily replaceable. It was white so was in the fridge chilling so it would be perfect when I fancied it.
My DH drunk all of it one evening when he stayed up late.
I felt exactly the same as you but he didn’t get why I was upset at all!
I still feel annoyed about it now and had to lie to my friend and say I really enjoyed it as they had spent time and effort selecting it for me to say thank you

TeaAndBrie · 18/01/2021 16:04

@homeschoollegend that’s exactly what my DH said too - you don’t drink much so you won’t miss it!! Hmm

sandgrown · 18/01/2021 16:12

My alcoholic ex would do this. If in the mood he would drink any alcohol in the house, even stuff he disliked . I had to hide gifts to have any chance of enjoying them. We have separated and it was a novelty this Christmas to be able to buy booze in advance and know it would still be there at Christmas .

Wheresmykimchi · 18/01/2021 16:15

That is annoying and thoughtless, and anyone who says otherwise is a martyr. It's not LTB territory, but it's bloody annoying! Your friend chose the gift for you, it was yours to open. And as you liked the bottle, you don't want to find it flung in the recycling.

peboh · 18/01/2021 16:24

Wouldn't bother me really, if I fancied that particular wine I'd just ask dh to replace it when he next was out.
Personally any alcohol in our fridge is just to be shared, unless specifically stated otherwise.

Skatastic · 18/01/2021 16:26

Selfish arse. Needs to get you 2 as a replacement.

bangs gavel

TeaAndBrie · 18/01/2021 16:35

@peboh
It was specifically stated, he knew it was a present to her not just a random bottle of Sainsbury’s house wine that was bought in the weekly shop

Jobsharenightmare · 18/01/2021 16:36

I'd be more concerned about him lying in hungover on my wine until midday!

EloraaDanan · 18/01/2021 16:49

Once DH used bubble bath I was given for my birthday and was saving for a long weekend soak. I was really upset. God help him if it was wine. I think I would’ve passed out with rage!

YANBU OP.

Bluntness100 · 18/01/2021 16:57

@Skatastic

Selfish arse. Needs to get you 2 as a replacement.

bangs gavel

Why 2? It’s not like she was intending to drink it last night. If he replaces it in a timely manner then no harm is done.
Whywonttheyhelpme · 18/01/2021 17:03

Rude.
If he had apologised and confirmed he’d already ordered a replacement I would have forgiven him.

Bluntness100 · 18/01/2021 17:04

@homeschoollegend

Well... he's admitted that he knew it was a gift but that he had run out of wine last night and it was the only wine we had in the house. He's tried to reason that I don't drink much, so what's the point in just keeping it around.

I also said that I am upset that he didn't even leave me a glass to taste, but drank the whole thing. He made no offer to replace it, but I sent him the damn link anyway and told him he needs to buy me another one.

Why didn’t you just tell him to replace it? And why say you were upset he didn’t leave you a glass? That indicates you’re ok with him drinking it. And don’t expect it to be replaced. Are you scared to challenge him?
Biscuitsanddoombar · 18/01/2021 17:20

Yanbu. He’s a selfish arse who sounds like he’s on the way to a drink problem

Quaagars · 18/01/2021 17:31

Nah, that's definitely LTB territory - touch my wine at your peril lol

Quaagars · 18/01/2021 17:34

Well... he's admitted that he knew it was a gift but that he had run out of wine last night and it was the only wine we had in the house

Eesh - just seen this, I can relate Blush
He's had some already, run out and still wants more?
Yeah, that's not good - I know when I've been like that before, it's not that you're being thoughtless, you just want more and you justify with "I'll replace it" or whatever.
Then wake up the next morning feeling shit and kicking yourself.
He should replace it though.

randomer · 18/01/2021 17:38

A grown man had a bottle of Rose.OMG Red flags,alcoholic.

livefornaps · 18/01/2021 17:39

He sounds like a loser alcoholic

Wheresmykimchi · 18/01/2021 17:39

@randomer

A grown man had a bottle of Rose.OMG Red flags,alcoholic.
No.

A grown man was so desperate for a drink he drank his wife's gift that didn't belong to him.

SleepingStandingUp · 18/01/2021 17:42

@cherrypie111

Eh I wouldn't be too bothered by this, you've left it in the fridge for a while now so I can see why he might have thought you weren't interested in it.
Op should have to drink and eat everything within a week so her partner doesn't take it for himself? It's been a few weeks, not uearst