To find many of the Mental Health champions, such as Bryony Gordon, actually not good for mental health!

[Sethy38]

It’s relentless....

Be kind to yourself
Say no
Self care
It’s ok to feel shit
Love yourself
Be yourself
The power of positive thinking
You go girl
You got this

And so on. And on.

I actually find it quite stressful! And then interjected with “sorry I didn’t post yesterday, I cried for four hours straight on my bedroom floor but I got through it and now I’m ok. And YOU WILL BE TOO”.

Having mini breakdowns aren’t really an option for single working parents.

There’s a heck of a lot to be said to be gritting your teeth, head down, ploughing on, but to so many of the Mental Health campaigners that approach is something to be scorned!

Anyone else a little by it all?

I know what you mean. I think people like that cater more for people who are struggling legitimately with what's going on in the moment, i.e. struggling with the pandemic etc. I don't think it helps all that much for those of us with diagnosed mental health problems. Yes, all of the self care stuff is important, but for many of us it's far too simplistic to make a real difference.

That said, I still think it's good that people are posting things that will help SOME people, even if it's not helping me. I just wouldn't follow them.

Some (SOME) ‘mental health’ bloggers/campaigners/influencers just push self-indulgent nonsense.

I understand what you are saying but I think it’s a bit more complex. I think it is in part a reaction to many years of a society where many people have had huge and unrealistic expectations of themselves and of life, and also (women in particular perhaps) being very critical of themselves for failing to meet them. Combine this with economic uncertainly for millennials, a constant info flow about successful lives, changing gender roles and a social media landscape that supports black and white approaches rather than shades of grey.., then I can see how we got here.

I agree, you need some grit to get through life. I think what we’re seeing is a fashion - and it will swing back. But I think/hope that what this era will bring is an acknowledgement that our expectations of ourselves should be realistic.

I also think that there is some hugely interesting research going on into things like habit training, which do help people get through life in a way that is supportive rather than self critical, which is a very useful side to the self care industry.

YANBU, I hate this too. Social media is either full of people blaming others for the pandemic because they had a takeaway coffee, or toxic positivity such as what you mentioned.
My therapist hated the phrase "it is okay not to be okay".... said if you are struggling then seek some support/help.

I agree that it’s positive in the sense that it’s making the issue much more mainstream.

The approach though just seems to encourage self indulgence rather than... I don’t know what but these people tend to present themselves as “having seen the light” and see that light as the only way forward. When actually... not for some.

Oh and don’t get me started on the inane statements on t shirts they wear.

I'm sick of the leaflet waving, signposting, "it's ok to feel like shit" mentality. It just confirms that you are the one with the issue and that it has nothing to do with society and the world we live in. Employers have these wellbeing programmes and I agree about responsibility and helping yourself, but I really have no time to spend meditating and having long baths. It's fucking pointless advice for the time-poor people most likely to be stressed, but it's thrown at you like a tick-box token gesture and then you're told to get on with it. It allows people to avoid actually taking steps towards improving things on a practical level - employers can continue to expect too much of employees, the government can continue with having a housing and poverty crisis without taking measures to correct this, unhealthy shit in the media can continue to go unchecked.

I don't think this helps people in the long run. We need practical advice on MH for BUSY people and we need to look at the world around us and make changes to things that are obviously a source of distress to people. Watching some social media person cry doesn't really solve my problems.

Yes. This made me think of a mental health 'first aider ' in my office. She is someone I actually find detrimental to my own mental health

Just how many books is Bryony going to write about her problems? She has the most forgiving DH in the world, from what I can gather after reading her one about alcohol. Tiresome!

It's pretty sticking plasters for the gaping wound which is the mental health crisis. We don't need the wound to look prettier, we need it to stop festering

And growing!

I disagree.
They may not help you OP, but they have helped a lot of people, as seen by the many people who follow them, myself included. Horses for courses I suppose.
They have normalised speaking out and surely that can only be a good thing. And when they post about episodes of meltdowns such as the crying on the floor example given earlier, it is a genuine example of what living with a chronic Mental Health condition is like. You MANAGE it every day. Some days you break down and feel like you will relapse. But then the next day you get up and carry on. Those who think this is not showing grit misunderstand the message and the reality of certain conditions in my opinion. Bryony Gordon has OCD. This is chronic and crippling and will involve days when you break down and then soldier on. I think overrall these advocates are needed, especially in our stiff upper lip culture.

@sevencontinents

I disagree. They may not help you OP, but they have helped a lot of people, as seen by the many people who follow them, myself included. Horses for courses I suppose. They have normalised speaking out and surely that can only be a good thing. And when they post about episodes of meltdowns such as the crying on the floor example given earlier, it is a genuine example of what living with a chronic Mental Health condition is like. You MANAGE it every day. Some days you break down and feel like you will relapse. But then the next day you get up and carry on. Those who think this is not showing grit misunderstand the message and the reality of certain conditions in my opinion. Bryony Gordon has OCD. This is chronic and crippling and will involve days when you break down and then soldier on. I think overrall these advocates are needed, especially in our stiff upper lip culture.

What would happen to my children if I broke down one day and cried for four hours ion my floor, as BG did the other day (but it’s ok because next day ok and we shouldn’t fight it when we just need to let it consume us apparently).

I don’t have the luxury of a highly supportive husband and one child and a large loving and emotionally supportive family.

And somehow the impression from these flag bearers (designer no doubt, definitely 100% organic) is that gritting teeth and ploughing on is ... unhealthy, bad, something to be avoided.

But you know what... I fly the flags for the plaster a smile on your face, grit your teeth, head down, and you know what... I suspect that in the long run it may be the approach that actually works. The approach of “no choice but to NOT succumb to the desire to curl for for four hours and cry”. Because as a single parent - I don’t have a supportive husband to ensure my children are well fed and cared for during them at period.

My irritation is that so many of the celeb mental health campaigners can just down tools and self-care, and they infer that by not doing so - you are failing yourself.

Yes I see what you mean OP. I have a long term mh condition and what I finf more helpful is the grit approach, even though I'm dreadful at it. I'm pretty good at taking baths, writing gratitude lists etc, I like the kickass stuff in books like 'you can't hurt me' and 'extreme ownership'. But perhaps my younger, ill-er self wouldn't have engaged with that tough love approach. I think there's a place for both ways.

Yes it’s just self indulgent twaddle for people who are too self absorbed.
Just been researching about my grandad who was nominated for a Victoria cross after the Zeebrugge raid. I didn’t know about this until after his death because he didn’t keep going on about seeing his friends being killed as a 20 year old. Instead he just gritted his teeth worked hard and got on with his life.
A fabulous grandad he was too although he would have been embarrassed if you had said that to him.

Same as jack monroe in her “anti-poverty” campaigning. She talks so much and likes the media attention but in terms of actual, tangible results? Minimal. It’s the same with mental health. The time to talk/feed the children slogans are largely bollocks unless we vote for people who want to radically overhaul mental health provision and combat the infrastructural reasons for poverty. I’m sick of hearing the likes of Monroe and Gordon tell us about their experiences from a position of relative privilege. It’s fine at first - we need to get these issues out into the public domain and get the conversation going. But then you need to hand over your platform to people who can actually bring about change. Otherwise it’s just self-indulgent

It's an industry where they can find followers and get instant sympathy on social media. If you ask any questions you're instantly in the wrong and get jumped on. I don't doubt they have struggles but I suspect that when they need to post a MH drama every day to stay relevant that a lot of it is engineered.
I used to write about my own MH in between other blog posts and accidentally attracted some of them like vultures.
They're all "raising awareness" don't you know?
Raising awareness of themselves.

Oh and the followers cannot stand anyone who recovers from mental illness. They get really nasty about it. I'd liken it to the way detransitioners are treated by specific groups.

I have had mental health issues, officially, for 15 years, but in reality, I guess all my life.

The best thing you can do, IMHO, is not pay attention to these people and be careful what social media you use.

Bryony Gordon wrote these books when she was struggling with alcohol addiction ie she wasnt telling the whole story

@hellswelshy

Yes. This made me think of a mental health 'first aider ' in my office. She is someone I actually find detrimental to my own mental health

OMG wait... what?? If my employer designated a MH first aider I would hand in my notice. I don't need someone to come and fanny about pandering to me when I have a panic attack. I need to get it under control by myself with as few people as possible knowing it happened and if someone saw something, them being decent and never ever bringing it up again to me or anyone else as long as they live. That's what helps me cope. I sure as hell don't want it written in some MH "accident book". How humiliating!

YANBU, I am done with this sort of content too. I find it very depressing in itself actually, it's a constant reminder of things and feelings that perhaps you are actually coping well with and you don't need to dwell on them 24/7.

I have a close friend with an immune disease and quite a severe grief trauma experienced in childhood. I have had my own share of grief and dreadful experiences in the last few years. I sought counselling and I'm feeling much more myself now. I talk to my friend about her feelings openly, no hesitation and she is very comfortable talking to me. But she also has this habit of following all these MH influencers and reposting this type content on her stories. I can see how it's having a negative effect on her and even though I love her to bits, I had to mute her stories because honestly this content was bringing me down at best of times. I tried to explore this topic gently with her but she's very absorbed in this.

I think this is doing more harm than good personally and it often makes people believe that they feel poorer than they actually are instead of being able to enjoy the better times and hang on to them for the sake of their own health and wellbeing without overthinking.

In her last "memoir" Gordon wrote about being licked out by a stranger in the grounds of a "country house" after a party while high while her husband was in their room with their infant daughter.

So no, I don't think I'll ever take anything she has to say about anything seriously. And it's not about the fact that it happened, which is one thing, but the fact she wrote about it (while, presumably sober) that means her judgment on everything is massively flawed.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/life/bryony-gordon-point-ofmy-day-wasto-get-7pmso-could-drink/

The thing that strikes me most about Bryony Gordon is that her husband must have the patience of a saint! I haven't read any of her books, but have read excerpts and was just like

I suspect I’d get on with you all in RL!

The kind of nonsense that is often posted by the celeb MH campaigners.

I feel like commenting “what inane froth. What does that actually mean?”
The irony is that I would be set upon by the campaigner and supporters.
Anyone who doesn’t agree is “bad”. Anyone who agrees “good, healthy, positive, on MHl side”