Pissed off at DP lying on sofa

[CrotchBurn]

So he has been lounging on the sofa pretty much all day every day. On loop.

It just pisses me off how he cant SIT on the sofa, he has to lie on it. It's really starting to grate on me. Yesterday I come in from work, there's a film starting. Great. I go to sit in what I consider a normal relaxing sofa position, sitting with legs tucked under me and pushed out a bit, kind of slouching - a bit more spread out than more "active" sitting. He comes back from opening us beers and yep, you guessed it, heads straight to lie down on the sofa, which means his legs are kind of almost across mine, penning me in.

It just feels fucking claustrophobic and like - give me some space. It's just annoying me that he needs to lie on the sofa ALL THE TIME. Can you not just sit on it? Slump on it? Does it always have to be LYING on it? If you're so tired you cant hold your body up a bit more, maybe go to bed?

Okay, the idea itself annoys me. But it also annoys me that his legs are pressing into me like that. It just wouldnt occur to me to do it - basically encroaching on someone else's personal space. That's how it feels to me. I know I'm just ranting now.

I was so angry yesterday I actually had to get up for a while because I thought I would lose my rag. And deep down inside me I know I'm being unreasonable and it's due to covid and lots of time together stuck indoors.

But out of curiosity: do you/DP lie or sit/slump on couch?

Drives me mental when my FIL would fall asleep in the sitting room/TV room when we'd all be there. We'd then tiptoe around for an hour feeling awkward.. just go into a different room, or bed! It's a fucking mansion for Christ sake

My mum takes it as a compliment if DH falls asleep in her living room, she's pleased that her SIL is so comfortable there. No one tiptoes around though and we give him a sharp poke if he starts snoring

I’m a lier! Gawd I hope I’m not pissing DH off , he hasn’t mentioned it.

My partner gets a sore lower back from sitting upright on most sofas for a length of time, which I think is more common in taller people.

I never lay down on the sofa and don't fall asleep anywhere but in my bed unless I'm poorly. I'd find a partner who lays on the sofa all day really unappealing. If he is encroaching on your personal space you should say something and have every right to!

well it sounds as though there's a lot of resentment here anyway about his constant presence.

I'm single now, but my ex wouldn't lie on the sofa unless he was having a nap. I don't lie on the sofa ever.

He doesnt plop his legs across me, hes not a complete dick! But because he has his stretched out, instead of my legs being bent with a gap between my feet and my bum I have to tuck them up right up against my body if you see what I mean.

Yeah I know I just meed to tell him. But probably the biggest personal difficulty i have is expressing things that bother me. Its actually something I wanted to change about myself this year so maybe this is a good place to start. Normally I dont feel I can say anything so I don't, then I bottle it up and one day a load of frustration just explodes out of me. It's not good. I need to work on this.

My DH does this but if his legs are on the bit I want to sit on I just say "Can you move your legs please". Sometimes I'm happy for him to put his legs on me, sometimes it's like being crushed so I just ask him to put them down. Not sure why you feel you can't ask him? You are entitled to relax too.

We lie on our sofa, it’s comfortable (but not all day - we both work). My parents didn’t but I don’t think that has anything to do with it. Have you considered a nice footstool so he’s not taking up your space?

Buy yourself a nice big chair for your use only.

Is he doing any housework? You said this is all part of him being lazy so I wondered if it was triggered by that. We only have two person sofas because it’s a small living room so you can just about lie down on one but the other person would have to sit on the other one if you did. I do usually have my legs up though and dh cuddles up to me or strokes my hair.

I understand what you mean about personal space but he is your partner, do you really not want him in your space? This is potentially another issue

Hes being a self centred cock

[quote CrotchBurn]@Winterwoollies
I'm going to keep this vague so wont say anymore but: because of covid it works out as more financially beneficial to him to not be working right now so he hasnt been in since I think November.[/quote]
If you’re out grafting at work, come home, sit down on the sofa and your relaxation space is invaded and you’re hemmed in by his legs, I would have got the rage too and probably kicked them away. I don’t blame you. Is he particularly tall? Any medical conditions warranting the slump?

Active sitting conjured up immediate understanding and I laughed because it was such a good description !
I was thinking about this very thing yesterday as I lay flat out on my sofa with blanket over me watching tv. When my dp (who I don’t live with and who does not have a good lying sofa) is here the lying position goes to them as a lovely novelty. I actively sit elsewhere or with dps legs squishing me. I only put up with this as it is not all of the time and it’s fully understandable how much dp loves it ‘this is such a good set up for tv’ etc.
I sometimes wonder why I have an actual bedroom with bed the amount of sofa lying I do and the occasional falling asleep overnight there (v comfy).

@inquietant

Yes, we lounge on the sofa and I am the chief culprit

Wtf is active sitting?

Just ask him to move his legs a bit but I think you're over reacting a LOT here.

If I had more room I'd get a sofa for every man, woman and child in the family so we could all lounge at the same time

Exactly. One sofa isn't enough.

I'm a lounger and would love one of these little beauties.

(Not helpful, sorry).

@Winterwoollies
No he is 5'11"" but I'm 5'9" with longer legs than him.

Yes he has been frustrating me recently, I'm not sure what it's all about. So probably the sofa is just a symptom of a bigger issue and it's not really about the sofa at all.

@KarensChoppyBob
That's gorgeous but you would need to be in silk kimono get up rather than trackie bottoms for it to be worth it. Kind of ruins the lounge factor!

What a bizarre thread. Lying on the sofa is completely normal. However, just tell him if it's annoying you.

Is he related to Jacob Rees-Mogg, given his demeanour in the Commons?

Get a recliner chair, then ideally he will love that more but if not at least you have somewhere to sit. We have an extra long 4 person sofa yet somehow dd still manages to monopolise it and she isn't even 5ft. I will be warning any of her future partners!

If we're watching a film or something and it's a lying on the sofa kind of mood we tend to take a sofa each, but I'm 5' 9 and DH is 6' 4 so we don't easily fit comfortably on one sofa like that, too much leg in the way. If we're sitting we tend to use one, or even lounging a bit with both our feet up on the footstool, but proper lying needs two sofas.

Neither of us ever lies on the sofa, but I don’t think it is a particularly unusual thing to do providing it doesn’t impact on another’s space.

I do tend to have my feet on the sofa as I sit on it curled up but my torso is upright. We have two sofas so usually occupy one each, if DH sits on same sofa as me I may stretch out and have my legs on his lap which we both seem to be comfortable with.

I can’t believe you’re having a massive rant about this when you haven’t so much as said to him ‘Oi, stick to your own side mate’.