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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH putting kisses on text

133 replies

obsoletemum · 15/01/2021 21:20

Is it weird for a married man in his late thirties to put a kiss on a text message to younger female work colleagues?

Asking for a friend...

OP posts:
LadyOfTheFlowers · 15/01/2021 21:21

Can't say I'd be thrilled tbh....

Biscusting · 15/01/2021 21:21

Weird

FFSAllTheGoodOnesArereadyTaken · 15/01/2021 21:22

If he routinely does it for everyone, men and women then no. If it's specific to attractive women or one attractive woman in particular then I'd be more worried

LastRoloIsMine · 15/01/2021 21:23

Depends if it was on purpose.

I text my plumber this week after texting DP and put "Monday 10am is great thank you xx"
I do not fancy my plumber but it was absent mindedness/automatic.

I suppose it depends on what the text says?

B33Fr33 · 15/01/2021 21:23

Yes.

Original poster
obsoletemum · 15/01/2021 21:27

Innocuous text messages. I.e. happy new year! x
Just feel there's not much need for kisses. I don't put kisses to my male married work colleagues?! And the texts are to someone who would definitely enjoy that he was using kisses and may get the wrong idea (which he knows!

OP posts:
user1493413286 · 15/01/2021 21:28

Dunno if it’s weird but the only people my DH puts kisses to are me, his mum and his sister and I’m not even 100% that he does to his sister

AubergineIsMyFavourite · 15/01/2021 21:29

I don’t like this but it depends on whether they are friends as well as colleagues.

Personally though I choose not to put kisses on the end of messages to male colleagues. I do put a x on the end of messages to make friends who I have known for years.

A lot of people say there is nothing in a x and I would generally agree with that but for the sake of clear boundaries I would always choose a smiling emoji instead which cannot be misinterpreted in any shape or form.

LastRoloIsMine · 15/01/2021 21:30

Have you asked him about it?

imalmosthere · 15/01/2021 21:30

It's an x at the end of a text, not a dick pic.
I couldn't get wound up over this personally op.
If you have other suspicions ok, but if it's literally just this? I would let it go.

Doffodils · 15/01/2021 21:31

If the text is about work, very weird. If it's a social or friendly thing, maybe not. I mean "Happy Birthday X" might be OK.

Smarshian · 15/01/2021 21:31

I almost put a kiss on the end of a text to an Amazon driver today delivering (or not as it happened) a bottle of port to my dad.
If it’s constant messages maybe a concern. A one off? I wouldn’t worry.

WhenTwoBecomeThree · 15/01/2021 21:31

Depends if it was out of habit from texting you or not, DP once put 'love you xxx' on the end of an email to his female very serious boss😂

Doffodils · 15/01/2021 21:32

If it was Happy New Year at midnight, very concerning IMO. If it was part of another conversation when they returned to work probably not.

theantsgomarchin · 15/01/2021 21:32

Ok I was prepared to hear you out but after seeing that they're just bog standard non chatty generic messages like "happy new year x" then yes, you're being massively unreasonable. It's just a x it's not "happy new year, fancy a shag".

There are a lot of very insecure women on MN

2pinkginsplease · 15/01/2021 21:32

I've put a x on a text to a Male friend. Hes actually my ex boss, I dont fancy him, hes old enough to be my father but hes a friend and I do care for him.

Cuntitinthebin · 15/01/2021 21:32

There's absolutely no need for anyone to put an x on any text message.

Bumblesbumbles · 15/01/2021 21:33

A male colleague puts kisses at the end of emails- I find it tricky as I feel unfriendly with my usual best wishes! Also have had this with another male friend (not close) in text messages. I’m sure it’s perfectly innocent friendliness but I wish they wouldn’t!

LastRoloIsMine · 15/01/2021 21:34

What makes this woman the kind to "get the wrong idea?"
Has she flirted with him before?
Does she send inappropriate messages?
Does she have a history of dating married/attached men?

YellowandGreenToBeSeen · 15/01/2021 21:35

Christ alive. This sort of shit makes me very glad I’m single. It’s a ‘x’. I put them on texts to / get them from my married male friends / colleagues who’ve become friends.

Seem to have avoided falling on their dicks. Hmm

umpteennamechanges · 15/01/2021 21:36

Weird.

I was quite attractive in my 20's and had a lot of male colleagues who were work friends, even to the extent that we'd go out for after work drinks on a weekly basis until the early hours of the morning.

None of them put kisses.

And if they had I would have thought they were cracking on...

The only ones that did were trying to crack on.

AnneLovesGilbert · 15/01/2021 21:37

Depends if he’s prone to xxing on texts generally. DH’s boss is a woman and put a x on her Christmas card to him but it was addressed to him “and family”. I imagine she’s a general or accidental xxer and not trying to make the moves on my husband.

It’s easily done. I once ended a call to the man coming to service the boiler “see you next week, love you, bye”. Felt like a right twat Blush

Nitpickpicnic · 15/01/2021 21:37

Nopety nope.

It’s inappropriate. Bet he doesn’t put xx to the nice grandmotherly lady in accounts, or his male colleagues.

Bet it wasn’t accidental or ‘just habit’ either. He’d get ‘the face’ from me, as his wife. The one that says ‘You’re not fooling anyone but yourself, mate.’

Wheresmykimchi · 15/01/2021 21:37

Hang on. Is anyone reading the bit about this person who he shouldn't be sending X to?

Is it just about the X, OP?

umpteennamechanges · 15/01/2021 21:38

But as PP said, if it's a one off it could have been an accident!