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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH putting kisses on text

133 replies

obsoletemum · 15/01/2021 21:20

Is it weird for a married man in his late thirties to put a kiss on a text message to younger female work colleagues?

Asking for a friend...

OP posts:
StrawBeretMoose · 15/01/2021 22:06

@LastRoloIsMine hope the plumber isn't expecting payment in kind on Monday! Blush

PyongyangKipperbang · 15/01/2021 22:06

I got a text message to confirm the time for an online interview for a job a couple of weeks ago. All very professional and signed off "Joe Bloggs xx"

After the initial "eh?!" moment, it made me smile at what was clearly an auto pilot thing!

unbotheredbutbewildered · 15/01/2021 22:06

I find it weird for men at any age after about 16 to put 'x' at the end of a text. Seems like something a teenager does!

Duffmcstockings · 15/01/2021 22:17

Sometimes I feel a real tit putting a xx on the end of a text. But I feel social pressure to do it anyway.Confused I don't do it to anyone I really love 🤷‍♀️

Sweettea1 · 15/01/2021 22:18

Not sure my ex put a x on end of texts to me I do same bk it means absolutely nothing just habit I guess an nicer way to end the conversation. We haven't been together for many years he is happy in a long term relationship and only text each about our dc.

Godimabitch · 15/01/2021 22:19

Might not even be deliberate. I've sent a string of kisses to my dog walker before.
"Happy new year x" is perfectly normal imo. I wouldn't question DH sending that to anyone

Chocolateandamaretto · 15/01/2021 22:20

Sometimes married male friends put kisses on the end of texts, I assume it’s absent minded. If it was every text to one woman and never anyone else there might be something in it but if it’s to lots of people or not every time it’s just autopilot.

Marcipex · 15/01/2021 22:23

I recently said ’Bye, love you’ to the hospital receptionist 😳

BettyAndVeronica · 15/01/2021 22:23

I wouldn't read too much in to 1 'x'. But would certainly be reading in to why he's messaging her at all in a non work related capacity.

If an older male boss messaged me out of work / not about work, I probably wouldn't reply. Maybe incase his wife thought it was me who had a crush on him and not visa versa

MissMarpleDarling · 15/01/2021 22:24

Yep its weird

Seasaltyhair · 15/01/2021 22:25

You know the whole situation isn’t right

Biancadelrioisback · 15/01/2021 22:26

Dh does to people he's affectionate with like close female friends (most of whom happen to married to his close male friends)
If it's unusual for your DH then perhaps just ask him?

Florelei · 15/01/2021 22:30

Could be entirely innocent. Could be dodgy. Does he message all of his colleagues and male friends in the same way? If so, I wouldn’t worry about it.

StarFriend · 15/01/2021 22:33

I think the PP who hit upon the issue being not so much the kiss as the fact he chose to message her HNY is very astute.

It's not the kiss. She was in his thoughts as we crossed from one year to the next.

Did he text other friends /colleagues to wish them HNY too?

Chuckleknuckles · 15/01/2021 22:34

I put kisses on messages to some of my former male colleagues who have become good friends. Would happily show my husband said texts.

Knickerthief1 · 15/01/2021 22:35

Depends if he always puts an x on his texts. I do and have accidentally put one on texts to my male boss before. Once I realised I've sent another text making known it was an accident and joking about it - largely because my male boss has a bunny boiler wife like the majority posting on this thread and I didn't want him to get grief!!

peboh · 15/01/2021 22:36

@Marcipex

I recently said ’Bye, love you’ to the hospital receptionist 😳
We've all been there. I regularly end a phone call with love you, then panicked when I've remembered who I'm talking to haha.
ArrrMeHearties · 15/01/2021 22:38

I put kisses on texts to everyone its just what I do.

MsDogLady · 15/01/2021 23:26

Inappropriate. Until now he has only sent kisses to you.

You are both aware that this young woman may have a crush on him. Therefore he should be keeping an appropriate distance. Instead, he has sent her several messages with kisses, including the midnight NY exchange where they both added ‘x.’

It sounds like something is amiss here, OP. In my marriage this mutual ego-stroking would be a line crossed. I would tackle this now and ask him what he’s playing at.

Dalooah · 16/01/2021 03:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IHaveBrilloHair · 16/01/2021 03:23

Lots of people seem to use them as punctuation m.
I don't and think its ridiculous.
Could it be that though?

FunkyFunkyBeat · 16/01/2021 03:29

Yes. That's inappropriate. It would make me feel uncomfortable as his wife. I also wouldn't like receiving an 'x' from a married male colleague! You need to raise this with your husband and let him know how its made you feel.

daisychain01 · 16/01/2021 03:38

I've seen he has put kisses on a couple of messages to a young girl at work who I believe might have a bit of a crush on him. I don't really have much evidence.

So it's that young "girl" who's got a crush on him. Of course, it's always the girl's fault and they're always the one with the crush. And your H has had no part to play in that, it's all so one-sided.

Check yourself for everyday sexism OP.

TooManyKidsSendHelp · 16/01/2021 03:39

If he doesn't usually put kisses to anyone except you then yes, it is extremely inappropriate and would make me think that he was a really enjoying the fact that a younger woman has a crush on him.

It doesn't necessarily mean he would go there, but perhaps just likes the ego stroke so doesn't want to discourage it. Arsehole behaviour.

1forAll74 · 16/01/2021 03:45

It's just a habit that some people have, it's no big deal.