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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH putting kisses on text

133 replies

obsoletemum · 15/01/2021 21:20

Is it weird for a married man in his late thirties to put a kiss on a text message to younger female work colleagues?

Asking for a friend...

OP posts:
peboh · 15/01/2021 21:38

'Happy new year x' is more than likely a text he's sent to all his contacts. I do it where I write a text then send to everybody, so no not weird.

IdentifyingCreamCake · 15/01/2021 21:39

I put them on my text messages to my male friends. And female. And my DH puts them on his messages too. We like our friends.

I’m friends with several colleagues both male and female. I can think of a few blokes I work with I would put kisses for if I text them. Not a big deal.

Original poster
obsoletemum · 15/01/2021 21:39

Sorry don't mean to drip feed but didn't really want to go into it all.

I've seen he has put kisses on a couple of messages to a young girl at work who I believe might have a bit of a crush on him. I don't really have much evidence.

He doesn't know I've seen the messages. He sent her a happy new year text at midnight on nye in reply to something she sent him. with a kiss.

I personally wouldn't be putting kisses on texts to my young male colleagues when I'm married with kids. I personally think it gives the wrong impression.

No he doesn't usually use kisses generally. He does to me.

OP posts:
Scaredykittycat · 15/01/2021 21:39

Hmmm. Depends really. My neighbour does it tk everyone. Men and women. Every single message.

My kitchen fitter sent me messages with kisses on. Not every time but sometimes. I assume it was habit. Doesn’t bother me.

peboh · 15/01/2021 21:40

Since when did we read so much into an x on the end of a message? I usually send a x without conscious thought, it's just a habit. I wouldn't be fussed if my dh did that.

Wheresmykimchi · 15/01/2021 21:41

@peboh

Since when did we read so much into an x on the end of a message? I usually send a x without conscious thought, it's just a habit. I wouldn't be fussed if my dh did that.
The OP suggests there is more to it with the recipient.
nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 15/01/2021 21:41

I put x on texts to my PT. He does it too. He hasn't thrown me to the mats in a fit of passion yet.

LastRoloIsMine · 15/01/2021 21:42

You need to talk to him about it.

Norwayreally · 15/01/2021 21:43

If he puts them on the end of texts to everyone then not weird, if it’s specifically for her then it’s flirting.

peboh · 15/01/2021 21:43

@Wheresmykimchi obviously if there's other issues at play then that's going to be personal to every person. I'm more so questioning the people that put yes straight away before there was any more information said.

AnotherBoredOne · 15/01/2021 21:44

Mine used to use the word 'babe' to a younger girl he trained with.
Never used that term with me or anyone else.
Had past history with an affair.
He could not see why this upset me or wasn't appropriate ☹️

UsernameSpoosername · 15/01/2021 21:44

Texting her at midnight on NYE, is him saying ‘You’re the first thing I’m thinking of as 2021 begins & 2020 ends.’

I’d be more concerned about that than the kiss.
Tosser. People might call me nuts & say it’s ‘just’ a text... but people are very subtle but clever about getting the point across they like someone so they can’t be accused/rejected but still put the feelers out.
Classic sign...
Sorry OP.

Oly4 · 15/01/2021 21:45

Yes. Inappropriate

UsernameSpoosername · 15/01/2021 21:46

Unless of course... it was a group text to all
Colleagues etc... but it doesn’t sound that way from the OP. Who did he text happy NY to?

AnneLovesGilbert · 15/01/2021 21:48

The midnight texting is completely out of order. Not okay.

MiddleClassMother · 15/01/2021 21:48

I do it to everyone, DH only to women, mostly to people like his mum, aunt etc, it's just something people do, I wouldn't worry unless it was to only one women (or a series of attractive women)

Heyahun · 15/01/2021 21:50

😂😂😂😂 seriously what a non issue

Wheresmykimchi · 15/01/2021 21:53

[quote peboh]@Wheresmykimchi obviously if there's other issues at play then that's going to be personal to every person. I'm more so questioning the people that put yes straight away before there was any more information said. [/quote]
It's in the OP

Wheresmykimchi · 15/01/2021 21:53

@peboh I stand corrected apologies it isnt. That will teach me to be smart.
I read all OPs posts as one.

Apologies.

Jumbojem · 15/01/2021 21:54

I think it's weird to do it to any work colleague to be honest. In most organisations it wouldn't be seen as professional? That's not to say that the odd one doesn't happen, mainly due to habit!

Blox123 · 15/01/2021 21:56

It's a kiss on the end of a text, not an actual kiss... I don't know... Oh puts kisses on texts to everybody lol, it's just how he texts... Does a kiss for men and women..

plg21 · 15/01/2021 22:00

My husband does to some of his work colleagues. At first I thought it was rather odd but he showed me their group WhatsApps and lots of his female colleagues do this, so he felt it a bit rude not to. I suspect it varies by company.

I'm not so free with putting kisses on a text - I sometimes sign off some individual texts with a kiss to male friends but only if they've signed off a message like that first. I think it depends how well I know them, I would do that for a long standing friend from uni but not one of my friend's husbands for example. Clearly a social minefield...!

VetiverAndLavender · 15/01/2021 22:00

I wouldn't like it one bit if my husband put a kiss in a message to anyone other than me (or possibly his mother or sister, though I don't think they're the kissy-text type of family).

The fact that he doesn't tend to use kisses but did for this particular person of whom you already feel wary... That would bother me. It's not necessary.

Scottishskifun · 15/01/2021 22:00

I do it as a automatic thing without even thinking about it/realising even do it to my manager (female BTW) it doesn't mean I suddenly fancy the person I have text!

Recycledblonde · 15/01/2021 22:03

I do it to most of my colleagues regardless of age but not to my manager, probably because I don’t like her.