DH putting kisses on text

[obsoletemum]

Is it weird for a married man in his late thirties to put a kiss on a text message to younger female work colleagues?

Asking for a friend...

I x lots of people, including male friends, but this is a different situation. She’s young. She’s got a crush on him. He’s texting her at midnight on NYE. Not in itself evidence of an affair, but evidence that he’s leading her on, being self indulgent & irresponsible. I would not approve of this at all & would be saying this to him in clear terms.
I’m feeling rather sorry for the girl, tbh. Sounds like she is being led on by an older man on an ego trip.

@UsernameSpoosername

Texting her at midnight on NYE, is him saying ‘You’re the first thing I’m thinking of as 2021 begins & 2020 ends.’

I’d be more concerned about that than the kiss.
Tosser. People might call me nuts & say it’s ‘just’ a text... but people are very subtle but clever about getting the point across they like someone so they can’t be accused/rejected but still put the feelers out.
Classic sign...
Sorry OP.

In that case I’m clearly after my cleaner, doggy daycare and my sons Grandma.

Hi Op
I can understand why you feel bit Weird about This.!!

I had a male Boss who would sometimes text us in this way.

Female only work place I was a guest hotel cleaner..

At first I thought it was bit odd,
But later on realized my former boss did this with everybody us !

Even though he was happily and still is as far as I am aware in a relantship not married I think.

It was just his my former boss way of showing he appreciated all the hard work
And was Aware whithout us he would be out of work too

I would go with your Gut Reactions feelings about your husband.!
That's what's important!!

How is your relantsh in General?
if it feels good/Ok relantship ?
Then there's your Answer !!

@LastRoloIsMine

"I hope the plumber does not expect you to xxx in kind too"😀😁

@Duffmcstockings

I know what you mean
"You feel like a tit sometimes
putting xxx etc"
😊😊😊

@Dalooah 😕

I think your defiantly on the wrong Thread Post L.o.l😂😂😂

[quote thosetalesofunexpected]@Dalooah 😕

I think your defiantly on the wrong Thread Post L.o.l😂😂😂[/quote]
🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ obviously posting half asleep!

If it’s a one, then he may have done it without thinking or as an accident - not a problem.

If he does it routinely to most people, then not a problem.

If he only does it it to one and/or young attractive females, then a problem.

Has the husbands behaviour etc changed at all? Better clothing etc? Ie. All the classic signs?

If it is every time they text and he doesn't to anyone else, then maybe an issue...if a one off or just what he does, not so much.

I was texting my boss once as was trying to find sick cover at work and I was trying to sort out something in work at the same time. I accidentally put an 'x' at the end. I realised as soon as it sent and was fully mortified and sent a "I'm so sorry" text afterwards, he thought it was funny

[quote thosetalesofunexpected]@LastRoloIsMine

"I hope the plumber does not expect you to xxx in kind too"😀😁[/quote]
Tangential to the question asked but it brings back an embarrassing memory - I didn't put kisses on any messages to the man doing my drive. I did make him and his 18 year old colleague cups of tea and engage in polite chit chat (he could talk the hind legs off a donkey so I kept trying to extract).

Cutting a long story short (he ended up messaging a single friend of mine), I was sent pics of his you know what in some kind of contraption "to see what I was missing out on" and apparently I was "a sexually frustrated housewife clearly gagging for it". With a lot of unpleasant details about what "it" was.

I'm not easily shocked but I was mortified that they were talking about me like that. I've been married for 20 years, I was hardly a cougar on the prowl for my next victim. And no payment in kind either...!

If it's not his usual, I wouldn't like it either.

What makes you think he has a crush?

( or was it her that has the crush)

Is he mentioning her lots?

Was the Happy New Year text at midnight? If so, that's way more significant than the x and not good news at all.

The x itself may be a problem if he's not someone who does it routinely. I don't know anyone who's normal is to put x on a business message, although there a couple who occasionally do it by accident.

I have male friends who do it as a way of signing off a message in an informal way, but none that sent me a message on the turn of midnight, when they would all have been busy with their SO and families.

I put kisses on texts to everyone - it means absolutely nothing! It's habit and in my head, makes my texts sound friendly!

Unless there's a huge backstory here, I think you're getting worked up over absolutely nothing.

I think it’s fine to put an x at the end of any hallmark sentiment, even to a colleague (and I will do in the same way that I would sign an x in a card).
“Merry Christmas x”, “Happy New Years x”, “Get well soon x”, etc.
If he was writing “you need to start at 8 on Monday x” then that sounds problematic.

I also don’t think it’s a big issue about texting after midnight on NYE. I always get loads of texts from a variety of people just after 12 - I don’t think they all want to sleep with me but rather are just texting their contacts to wish them a happy new year.

However I don’t understand why you think the woman has a crush on him? You seem convinced but with no evidence. Why do you think this?

My exH put multiple kisses on texts to everyone - male friends, female friends, workmen etc etc just what he was like.
Current DP - it would mean he was testing the waters.
Depends on person but if not usual definitely not good

It sounds like he fancies her as it isn’t what he usually does

Wouldn’t be impressed op

@obsoletemum

Is it weird for a married man in his late thirties to put a kiss on a text message to younger female work colleagues?

Asking for a friend...

I am not sure what relevance his age is, but kisses on a text to a colleague is not appropriate ever.

Why are you reading his messages?
I can't imagine wanting to read messages between my husband and a work colleague.
Maybe that's because I trust him.
Is there something else going on?

It's irrelevant people saying on here that they always put a x at the end of their messages and therefore it's not a big deal.

If this is unusual for your partner then yes, it's inappropriate and I'd be mighty suspicious.

Do you have any other concerns?

Texting Happy New Year at about midnight this year, when no one was going out, isn't significant in terms of timing.

I was wondering if he send the same message to all and sundry (including the one 'x' - which many people do by default, the more kisses the more likely the warmer thoughts)

Because the message in itself isn't the issue. It's whether he is using a different tone with her than with everyone else, and finding excuses to text her.

How many kisses?

It’s a bit odd but if she signed off with lots of kisses (as many young women do these days) maybe he felt it would be cold not to put a kiss in reply? Or he just didn’t think?

I accidentally put kisses on a text to the plumber once as I was distracted by DC. Luckily he never mentioned it!

I’ve had x from complete strangers on Gumtree! So many people seem to do it automatically now.
That said, my husband doesn’t.

I've noticed loads more men sign off with an x than say 10 years ago when it felt more like a female thing. To their mates and even colleagues. It's quite sweet.

I messaged loads of my male and female friends soppy messages around midnight on NYE and was unaware this was apparently a red flag

Yes

A wise man once said “if text kisses were real kisses, the world would be an orgy”

But they’re not so I think there’s no need to be concerned