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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this rude comment was unwarranted? (Supermarket rage!)

326 replies

CrossFitAddict · 15/01/2021 17:07

Just popped to the supermarket for a few bits and on exiting the checkouts I come out behind an elderly lady with another woman walking with her side by side (probably her daughter). It’s about 50ft to the exit and the elderly lady is walking extremely slowly holding onto a trolley (no problem with her at all), the other woman with her is walking at the same pace and blocking the walkway (she was rather large) so there’s a queue of us behind them.

As the area widened I walked quickly around them, a good distance from the elderly lady, and sped up to the entrance hearing the other woman shout loudly ‘some people can’t wait for other people can they’. I turned as I heard her (as did everyone else) and wanted to say that she should have moved to the side and walked single file behind the older lady if she had any manners but didn’t bother and just shook my head.

AIBU to think that if you’re walking with a slow moving person, you should move to the side rather than hold up everyone else and then take umbrage if someone overtakes you Angry.

OP posts:
squeekums · 17/01/2021 04:04

YANBU
id have done the same, im a naturally fast walker and hate being stuck behind slow people.
Its not rude to pass someone

pam290358 · 17/01/2021 07:49

@user5464 I know what you mean. Using a wheelchair in a supermarket can be really hazardous too. I regularly field people walking along looking at their phones instead of watching where they’re going. Also people who are looking at shelves with their backs to me, then step back into my path inevitably causing them to trip - in one case a woman literally fell into my lap and upended my chair. People tend to have a lot on their minds while shopping and because I’m at a lower level they tend not to see me until it’s too late. I’m developing a kind of sixth sense now but I still think I’ll have to equip myself with a horn or bicycle bell !!

user5464 · 17/01/2021 08:50

@user5464 I know what you mean. Using a wheelchair in a supermarket can be really hazardous too.

I was walking along a tube platform and someone rushing for their next train whooshed passed me and kicked one crutch out from under me

S-P-L-A-T !!! They carried on and no one helped me up.

It was something that made me cautious about being "overtaken" which is sad - it is the victim who got to adjust their behaviour then, or has to buy a bicycle bell and develop ESP to avoid problems
^^^^^

A lady nearby said in a perfect native French accent "Oh la la!" and it made my day to hear that this was not just a myth from a stereotype

Oooohbehave · 17/01/2021 09:16

YANBU. I hate being stuck behind slow moving people. It's like that episode of Mr Bean when he's on the stairs behind the old lady Grin

Arobase · 17/01/2021 10:01

@Where'smykimchi, you are missing the point. OP was criticised for saying the woman was lucky she was in a good mood because those criticising her want to imply that she is aggressive, rude, etc. I was simply pointing out that her statement was a statement of fact; whilst the reality is that OP may well never have reacted differently, nevertheless experience demonstrates that some people do indeed kick off spectacularly in that sort of situation.

Wheresmykimchi · 17/01/2021 11:18

[quote Arobase]@Where'smykimchi, you are missing the point. OP was criticised for saying the woman was lucky she was in a good mood because those criticising her want to imply that she is aggressive, rude, etc. I was simply pointing out that her statement was a statement of fact; whilst the reality is that OP may well never have reacted differently, nevertheless experience demonstrates that some people do indeed kick off spectacularly in that sort of situation.[/quote]
Right.

But that doesn't make it right

Lockdownshmockdown · 17/01/2021 15:49

I fail to see how the OP was impatient. She walked around the people not bothering them. This is a non-problem for all involved.

livefornaps · 17/01/2021 19:09

My bet is that @CrossFitAddict's entire alias is a complete red herring, along with the specific description of the helper as "rather large". I posit that it is in fact OP who is the real fatty boom batty

(Cuz that's what this post is really about, right?)

Arobase · 18/01/2021 01:45

But that doesn't make it right

So what's wrong with it? OP walked past these two women in a wide semicircle and reacted extremely moderately to gratuitous rudeness.

Hesma · 18/01/2021 06:25

I would have just nipped along the next aisle and gone into.the aisle I wanted from the other end. Maybe do that next time

LetItGoGo · 18/01/2021 13:06

Exiting the checkouts?

Wheresmykimchi · 18/01/2021 13:49

@Arobase

But that doesn't make it right

So what's wrong with it? OP walked past these two women in a wide semicircle and reacted extremely moderately to gratuitous rudeness.

Someone made a comment about people not being able to wait. Wow. The world moves on.

Posters are asking as if she should be knighted for her moderation in not ranting and raving and screaming and shouting like so many others would have done. Cause that's normal. Confused

SmudgeButt · 18/01/2021 15:03

Are you sure it wasn't me? Well, except I haven't been out shopping with my MiL for at least a year....

MiL is the sweetest in so many ways. But she's ancient, so very slow, limited mobility and she whispers. So if I've ever been out with her I have to be beside her to make sure she doesn't keel over and so I can hear what she says. Hence I would have to walk beside her. And I wouldn't be able to get her to stop and stand aside as she wouldn't make it to the car. So yes i'd probably be blocking traffic.

but if you then go by in a wide spot I wouldn't shout at you.

Arobase · 18/01/2021 17:30

Posters are asking as if she should be knighted for her moderation in not ranting and raving

Really? Who?

Wheresmykimchi · 18/01/2021 17:37

@Arobase

Posters are asking as if she should be knighted for her moderation in not ranting and raving

Really? Who?

The many PP who thought she handled herself wonderfully and praised her for her response, caus if it would have been them granny would have known about it.

Great.

ScrambledSmegs · 18/01/2021 17:41

What's so bad about people walking past you and leaving enough space? People move at different speeds. Sometimes other people walk past me, other times I'm the person walking faster. I'm normally slower, to be fair. I really don't see the big deal.

Odd thing to get angry about.

RincewindsHat · 18/01/2021 17:47

Maybe she was having a bad day...I snapped at a random stranger on the weekend who was actually being perfectly nice just because I was so stressed in the moment. If I saw her again, I would apologise because it was unwarranted. Let it go, you did nothing wrong.

LetItGoGo · 18/01/2021 20:13

It's a stressful time.

Arobase · 18/01/2021 20:45

@ScrambledSmegs

What's so bad about people walking past you and leaving enough space? People move at different speeds. Sometimes other people walk past me, other times I'm the person walking faster. I'm normally slower, to be fair. I really don't see the big deal.

Odd thing to get angry about.

None of the posters on here who claim OP was being rude have been able to answer this question. It's really quite revealing.
Mittens030869 · 18/01/2021 20:58

Initially some posters misunderstood the OP, and got the impression that she had actually been rude to the lady who made the comment about her. Whereas in fact she never said anything at all, so wasn't rude. But as often happens on AIBU, once the first couple of posters respond with a strong YABU, a pile-on follows very quickly, until the misunderstanding is pointed out.

I also think quite a few posters responded negatively to the OP's description of the woman who spoke about her as 'large'. That never goes down well on a thread like this.

dontcrowdthemushrooms · 18/01/2021 21:37

YANBU OP. I walk fast and nip past where there is room rather than seethe along behind a slowcoach Grin

kursaalflyer · 18/01/2021 21:52

If you are walking out of a supermarket are you aware of a 'queue' behind you? I'm not. Maybe us oldies need rear-view mirrors.

phoenixrosehere · 18/01/2021 22:12

If you are walking out of a supermarket are you aware of a 'queue' behind you?

I am because I know I’m rarely the only one in the supermarket. There is usually one exit in many supermarkets at this time and there is a possibility that others may be leaving at the same time as I am so I check my surroundings so I don’t walk into anyone and then walk out quickly. If I know I’m going to be slow, I walk on the side so people can get past me with ease.

CocoPark · 18/01/2021 22:19

YANBU, OP. Why was the other woman bothered anyway? She was obviously well aware she was in the way, so ready to yap off. Stupid arse.

LaceyBetty · 18/01/2021 22:25

@kursaalflyer

If you are walking out of a supermarket are you aware of a 'queue' behind you? I'm not. Maybe us oldies need rear-view mirrors.
I am. I try to be aware of my surroundings to ensure I'm not in other people's way to the extent possible. Just like I hope others do.