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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this rude comment was unwarranted? (Supermarket rage!)

326 replies

CrossFitAddict · 15/01/2021 17:07

Just popped to the supermarket for a few bits and on exiting the checkouts I come out behind an elderly lady with another woman walking with her side by side (probably her daughter). It’s about 50ft to the exit and the elderly lady is walking extremely slowly holding onto a trolley (no problem with her at all), the other woman with her is walking at the same pace and blocking the walkway (she was rather large) so there’s a queue of us behind them.

As the area widened I walked quickly around them, a good distance from the elderly lady, and sped up to the entrance hearing the other woman shout loudly ‘some people can’t wait for other people can they’. I turned as I heard her (as did everyone else) and wanted to say that she should have moved to the side and walked single file behind the older lady if she had any manners but didn’t bother and just shook my head.

AIBU to think that if you’re walking with a slow moving person, you should move to the side rather than hold up everyone else and then take umbrage if someone overtakes you Angry.

OP posts:
Russellbrandshair · 16/01/2021 19:47

@SoupDragon

I guarantee you jostled or startled her in some way.

What a ridiculous statement 😂😂

yes lol

I love how people are just blatantly making shit up now- she was pushed to the ground! her husband probably just died! she has dementia! OP punched her in the face over an argument over a falafel!

Good grief, the desperation some feel here to attache the OP is pathetic.

Russellbrandshair · 16/01/2021 19:47

*attack

funinthesun19 · 16/01/2021 20:13

I dont just hang about behind and then walk quickly past when space is available. I think that's rude. If you need to pass then just ask nicely. Noone I know has ever said no you can't, most are apologetic or just smile and say sure and let you by.

I’ve never known anybody do this. People just walk past without asking, which is just... normal.

Can you imagine if the OP asked if she could go past? The rude woman would have said no, so what’s the point? Might as well just walk past instead of asking for permission you don’t even need.

user5464 · 16/01/2021 20:15

I was on crutches once, and the same older person and carer situation arose. I decided to overtake - in a wide hospital corridor as it happened.

A human with hospital ID rounded the corner with an active walk and was faced with a terrible dilemma - which of these can I throw to the floor to get to where I need to go?

I smiled and acknowledged their difficulty, we all had to wait as the 4 of us reconfigured, but the human contact seemed to diffuse the issue. It took a tiny delay for all of us, but just saying something - anything to acknowledge the issue is helpful.

Maybe, "Heavens! I'm in a hurry again! S'cuse me!" would have helped, "Sorry must squeeze past!" "You must get fed up with this behaviour from everyone - no insult meant" etc etc
But certainly something about you, not about them.

I imagine the "carer" was reassuring the lady who was fretting about how she was holding everyone up yet again.

When I was on crutches I was constantly scarlet with being the weakest link - the one with all the space in front of me and a crowd behind. It wasn't enough to be injured without having to feel embarrassed too! I was endlessly pushed past, tripped over, sighed about and overtaken unnecessarily to be stood infront of. Yet I am fast on crutches - but they take up a lot of space.

ilovesouthlondon · 16/01/2021 20:37

It's often the "rather large " people who do this shit. You are not being unreasonable but perhaps next time just say "sorry, excuse me please " before going past. You could also have pointed out to her that they should be single file (when she made her comment to you) but I understand why you didn't bother. Just not worth it at a time like this.

monicacat · 16/01/2021 20:42

Yanbu

Showers3 · 16/01/2021 20:51

YANBU - you did nothing wrong. And all those saying the old lady couldn’t have done her shopping alone - fine - but maybe her daughter could have done it for her? 🤔 🤷‍♀️

Mittens030869 · 16/01/2021 20:58

Good grief, the desperation some feel here to attache the OP is pathetic.

Indeed. It’s AIBU and a lot of posters on here treat attacking OPs as a hobby and so hate it when the OP is clearly not unreasonable.

Wheresmykimchi · 16/01/2021 21:01

@SoupDragon

I guarantee you jostled or startled her in some way.

What a ridiculous statement 😂😂

I disagree.

And if fits the narrative of the woman reassuring the woman by saying don't worry people just cant wait, which OP going by the tone of her posts has blown up.

Wheresmykimchi · 16/01/2021 21:02

@Mittens030869

*Good grief, the desperation some feel here to attache the OP is pathetic.*

Indeed. It’s AIBU and a lot of posters on here treat attacking OPs as a hobby and so hate it when the OP is clearly not unreasonable.

The OP who called people cunts and said the elderly and large lady were lucky she was in a good mood?
shas19 · 16/01/2021 21:07

😂nope sorry defo not being unreasonable. Old people no problem but the other woman should of had some common sense

Russellbrandshair · 16/01/2021 21:16

The OP who called people cunts and said the elderly and large lady were lucky she was in a good mood?

Oh, you mean after being attacked by everyone making stuff up? I don’t blame her.

Yes she was lucky she was in a good mood- I generally don’t shout abuse at people in public and if I did I would expect a stroppy response so OP was very restrained I think

PinkPandaBear · 16/01/2021 21:44

I can’t stand slow walkers! If you know someone is behind you or walking towards you then walk in single file! Slow walking couples and groups of people annoy me.

Pat123dev · 16/01/2021 21:47

I hate getting stuck behind slow walkers. But I'd have waiting. You were being a whizzy pushy pants

Weirdwonders · 16/01/2021 22:04

YANBU, my mum’s reported a similar story. I think some people are just out for the attention at the moment. If you didn’t barge her or slow them down, what’s the problem? Getting too close maybe? Well why should you have to spend extra time in the supermarket because she wouldn’t make space? Attention seeker, ignore.

shinynewapple2021 · 16/01/2021 22:16

Having experience of taking elderly relatives shopping it's often not possible to walk single file behind them if you have to help them with the trolley .

Vinomummyinlockdown · 16/01/2021 23:31

It’s covid!! We all want to leave the shops ASAP don’t we??? These replies ...... 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Wheresmykimchi · 16/01/2021 23:51

@Russellbrandshair

The OP who called people cunts and said the elderly and large lady were lucky she was in a good mood?

Oh, you mean after being attacked by everyone making stuff up? I don’t blame her.

Yes she was lucky she was in a good mood- I generally don’t shout abuse at people in public and if I did I would expect a stroppy response so OP was very restrained I think

Totally disagree.
Arobase · 17/01/2021 00:51

I dont just hang about behind and then walk quickly past when space is available. I think that's rude. If you need to pass then just ask nicely. Noone I know has ever said no you can't, most are apologetic or just smile and say sure and let you by.

But why would you ask? When I'm wondering around a supermarket, it simply wouldn't occur to me to decide that I had any right to decide who is allowed to walk in the area near me, and frankly if anyone asked me for permission to do so I'd think they were batshit.

Arobase · 17/01/2021 00:53

@MrsBennettsSecretSon

YABU, just stick behind for a bit
Why? That would just mean OP holds up the people behind her, which would be seriously bad manners.
Arobase · 17/01/2021 01:06

The OP who called people cunts and said the elderly and large lady were lucky she was in a good mood?

But what's the problem with this? Person in supermarket chooses to try to pick a loud argument with someone who has done nothing wrong, She was indeed lucky that person was in a good mood and chose not to react other than by shaking her head. Many people would have been considerably less restrained.

I can remember once walking along one of the passageways in a fairly crowded underground station. As I walked round a corner I became aware that someone was trying to push past me on the side nearest the wall, but there wasn't room for that and, as they were behind me, I hadn't seen them and therefore hadn't stepped to the side to let them through. Immediately the person behind me started chuntering away about how rude I was. I would have ignored it but they didn't stop, so eventually I turned round and said "Look, you were behind me, you tried to push me out the way, I don't think it's me who was being rude". That person is also lucky that I didn't tell them to fuck the fuck off, let alone that I didn't retaliate physically - but then I suspect they would have tried any of it on if I hadn't been smaller than them.

sneakysnoopysniper · 17/01/2021 01:24

I dont use supermarkets they creep me out. Once I have paid I want to get out as quick as possible so I would just whizz past the slow walkers.

Wheresmykimchi · 17/01/2021 01:27

@Arobase

The OP who called people cunts and said the elderly and large lady were lucky she was in a good mood?

But what's the problem with this? Person in supermarket chooses to try to pick a loud argument with someone who has done nothing wrong, She was indeed lucky that person was in a good mood and chose not to react other than by shaking her head. Many people would have been considerably less restrained.

I can remember once walking along one of the passageways in a fairly crowded underground station. As I walked round a corner I became aware that someone was trying to push past me on the side nearest the wall, but there wasn't room for that and, as they were behind me, I hadn't seen them and therefore hadn't stepped to the side to let them through. Immediately the person behind me started chuntering away about how rude I was. I would have ignored it but they didn't stop, so eventually I turned round and said "Look, you were behind me, you tried to push me out the way, I don't think it's me who was being rude". That person is also lucky that I didn't tell them to fuck the fuck off, let alone that I didn't retaliate physically - but then I suspect they would have tried any of it on if I hadn't been smaller than them.

Why? What would have happened? Would people have shouted back? attack the old lady?

Same with your post - none of these things actually happen in real life. People just come home and rant about it.

OP is posting aggressively about a total non event.

Totallydefeated · 17/01/2021 01:38

In what universe is it an offence to walk more quickly than somebody else?? You waited until there was space and then passed them. There’s literally nothing to complain about here. The woman was obviously just looking for something to get arsey about. The replies on this thread are insane, but so typically MN.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 17/01/2021 01:41

You lost me at she was rather large, sorry.
Are you a perfect glamorous super model