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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To employ my SIL as a nanny/house help?

152 replies

Pumpertrumper · 15/01/2021 12:09

So I’m not coping. I have a 10 month old, am pregnant and DH is a critical worker gone all the hours under the sun.

My lovely SIL is a student and registered child minder assistant, due to covid she’s struggling to find any job. I see a fantastic opportunity for us to employ her on a PT basis until she can secure a grad job.

She would happily help out for free (has said this repeatedly). We are good friends too but I would only feel right doing it officially. It’s also right she gets paid as is struggling without a PT job.

My question is given we want to employ her flexibly (so she can still uni as needed) and I’m already not coping (so the thought of working out tax/payslips/payroll/holiday allowance/sick leave is SOOO daunting) Is there a way we can just pay her a set amount, she can put it in her savings and it not cause either of us masses of paperwork or liabilities?

I can’t imagine everyone with a baby sitter/pt nanny/mothers help goes through all the official government hiring process (it looks like it’s aimed at proper companies).

Please be kind. I have money I want to pay her, she’s a struggling student wanting to earn. We are just trying to help each other out in a difficult time.

OP posts:

SuperDuperJezebel · 15/01/2021 12:11

Hi, I'm a nanny - there's many many payroll companies out there who will run payroll etc for you for approx £70 a year (from memory) and they give you all the support and info on what you need to do, and how much you need to pay to your SIL and how much to HMRC etc.

Original poster

Pumpertrumper · 15/01/2021 12:12

Would probably be around 14-16 hours a week fwiw and minimum wage for her age is £8.20.

We would only need her for 3 months but she may well stop before that as will continue applying for jobs related to her degree x

OP posts:

Original poster

Pumpertrumper · 15/01/2021 12:13

@SuperDuperJezebel

Do you know the names?
Do they also account for holiday/sick? That would be a weight off!

OP posts:

SuperDuperJezebel · 15/01/2021 12:17

They should do, as a nanny my employer deals with all of that side of things but I'm sure you could give them a call or find the info on the website. My employer uses Nannypaye and they're very good, there's also Nannytax (the most popular, also the most expensive. Heard a few complaints about them recently WRT furlough payments etc), Way2Paye...

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 15/01/2021 12:17

google "umbrella payroll nanny uk" - or ask SIL to research it

catanddogmake6 · 15/01/2021 12:17

Op if you google Nanny PAYE lots come up. If it’s only for three months I’d see if you could get one on a monthly subscription rather than an annual. Many years ago we used NannyPAYE and they were good but they seem to be quite expensive and only on an annual basis.

Finfintytint · 15/01/2021 12:20

Would she be willing to go self employed and invoice you for the work done? The responsibility of tax, etc would then be hers.

scubadub · 15/01/2021 12:21

No I wouldn't OP, employing family is an argument waiting to happen to be honest.

lightyearsahead · 15/01/2021 12:22

I would not hesitate, just do it and give you and her a break.

Doffodils · 15/01/2021 12:30

If it's only a few hous pw at min wage and her only job, no tax will be due, so does OP need to worry about it?

BlingLoving · 15/01/2021 12:47

You will get a million people on here telling you of course you must do it formally etc ec etc. but honestly, I'm struggling to see why you can't just pay her cash. It's a few hours a week, she's family etc.

A bigger issue of course is that employing family in any capacity can get complicated in terms of performance management etc. But if you're confident that's not going to be a problem, then just go for it.

Mulhollandmagoo · 15/01/2021 12:47

If she's a student isn't she tax exempt anyway? and even if she was 14-16 hrs per week @ NMW probably wouldn't hit the tax threshold anyway. Honestly, with everything going on in the world just agree a price per week and pay in into her account and save everyone the stress, it'll also mean you can start straight away

TheDuchessOfBeddington · 15/01/2021 12:56

Students aren’t tax exempt, it’s just that most of them earn under the threshold as your SIL will be.

Honestly I would just offer cash and see what she says.

TheDuchessOfBeddington · 15/01/2021 12:58

Looks like a nanny tax subs (if per annum) will cost about 10% or more of what you would be paying her. Doesn’t seem worth it for 12 weeks causal work IMO.

MatildaTheCat · 15/01/2021 13:01

Short term few hours a week? Cash.

Doffodils · 15/01/2021 13:03

I'm usually very straight minded when it comes to tax, I don't employ any tradesman who wants cash or accept any discounts for cash, but I would just pay cash here.

My concern would be more about what happens if the relationship sours, but as it's only a short term thing, hopefully that's not too much of a risk.

shouldistop · 15/01/2021 13:06

Probably not a popular view but I'd just pay her cash as it sounds like it will be short term / flexible.
When I broke my ankle and had a toddler at home I paid my MIL cash in hand to do my housework. Didn't think twice about it.

ChocOrange1 · 15/01/2021 13:08

She can register as self employed. Then she just keeps track of how much she has been paid and submits a tax return at the end of the year. Chances are it will be way under the tax threshold anyway.

I do this is a self employed tutor. I have a spreadsheet with income and expenses and it takes about half an hour to do a tax return.

You dont need to worry about employee status, national insurance, holiday pay and sick pay etc, just agree with her in advance what will happen if she goes on holiday/sick.

CovidHalloween · 15/01/2021 13:09

Hi, I have employed a nanny before so here’s my advice.
Regardless if she’s your relative, and especially that she’s a relative I highly recommend a contract. My nanny accountant gave me a generic one that I can edit out to my own needs. Then we both signed it.
There are loads of nanny accountants out there. Just google then.
If she’s under 16, legally, she can’t look after children unattended.
I highly recommend doing things through the accountant even if she won’t be making enough money to pay tax. Making things official and makes the responsibilities and obligation towards each other clear. Problems arise when there’s no contract between family members or friends. Trust me on this.

CovidHalloween · 15/01/2021 13:11

Nannies and mother’s help can’t be self employed by the way. Private tutors are different. I spoke to HMRC about it. Look it up on their website. They HAVE to be employed by you.

HollowTalk · 15/01/2021 13:14

If it's just for two or three months and if she isn't claiming any kind of benefits, then I'd just pay cash.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 15/01/2021 13:14

@BlingLoving

I agree with this!

HollowTalk · 15/01/2021 13:15

I wouldn't pay sick leave or holiday pay if she's just doing a few hours for a few weeks.

I'd draw up a list of jobs you want her to do, agreed by both of you.

billy1966 · 15/01/2021 13:17

Absolutely pay her cash and don't give it a second thought.

SleepingStandingUp · 15/01/2021 13:19

a critical worker gone all the hours under the sun
Read it as a critical wanker. Was ready to LTB you.

Anyway, SIL helping you out for a few hours a week for a few months, honestly I'd just give her the cash.

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