To dislike the casual use of ‘I have anxiety’

[Sallytheseal]

I’ve name changed for this as I’m sure I’ll get a pasting but I’ve noticed SO many threads where the OP will not do something / expect special treatment because ‘I have anxiety’ and that’s the end of the sentence.

Anxiety is a medical condition and it should be treated. It isn’t a reason to just avoid things that make you anxious. For context, I had a traumatic delivery with DC2 and developed debilitating panic attacks. I saw a therapist, had counselling for over 2 years, forced myself to build tolerance (my fear was any separation from DC and I had to build myself up to longer times). It was awful but necessary. DH also suffers from diagnosed anxiety. He has regular therapy and is medicated. He still gets anxious but isn’t part of being a responsible adult getting treatment? I fully understand that doesn’t happen straight away, I didn’t seek help till DC was 6 months and I’m all too familiar with the state of mental health provision but if you already have the awareness that you have anxiety, and that it’s affecting your behaviour, then at some point you need to seek help or at least acknowledge that you need to seek help.

I hate when posters write things like, ‘I can’t confront x, I have anxiety’. I think it belittles people with diagnosed anxiety, as if they are helpless/ unable to change. Also, if you don’t have diagnosed anxiety, it’s weird to use the name of a recognised mental health disorder to self diagnose. You can say ‘I feel anxious’ which doesn’t co-opt someone else’s genuine illness?

I’m honestly not trying to minimise anyone’s suffering but I also don’t think it’s right to misrepresent a mental health disorder.

absolutely agree

Genuine sufferers are not taken seriously

I agree and said this on another thread recently..,we have pathologised normal human emotions.

It dues a disservice to people with actual serious and enduring MH problems.

It’s a way of people describing how they feel. How would you know they wouldn’t be diagnosed with anxiety

A few years ago there were many threads complaining about people saying they are depressed once again it’s someone describing how they are feeling

Many more people would probably be diagnosed with a MH issue that medication can help if they seek help rather than just trying to live with it

Agree totally. I am quite an anxious person, I worry a lot, I catastrophise etc. I don't have anxiety though. Being anxious or sad or down isn't a mental health condition in itself, but so many people adopt anxiety or depression or OCD as 'their' conditions. It is usually used that way too 'my anxiety / my OCD' etc.

I used to be the line manager of a large team and for some of them every time they were asked to do something they didn't like, or was challenging for them or uncomfortable, they would say they couldn't because of their anxiety, or their depression, or because of their panic attacks. Only one person in the team actually had diagnosed depression for which she was on medication, and you would never have known it, she would give anything a go.

These days I really do feel it's used as a get out of jail card for a lot of people,and it's useful to shut down conversations people don't want to have because they feel uncomfortable. I'm sure that's an unpopular and not very right on view, but it's my personal experience.

Anxiety is an emotion, and pretending that it's an illness which comes out of nowhere rather than a product of your environment or experiences is not helpful.

I do not doubt that some people experience this emotion very strongly, but overmedicalisation prevents people from taking accountability and making changes which will positively impact their mental health.

I see a few pp’s claim too many are self diagnosing with anxiety when they can’t possibly have “clinical anxiety” it’s just exaggerating low level anxiety...

You don’t know everything that happens in someone’s life. Some possibly only choose to discuss their experience of anxiety during ‘socially acceptable’ / relatable moments of their life e.g., interviews but feel too reserved to speak so openly about the less socially acceptable experiences of anxiety as it’s too personal. Also, I find it slightly ironic some pp’s who have anxiety don’t believe others do too - how would you feel if someone invalidated your experience and thought don’t be silly your anxiety isn’t that bad. I presume you don’t share with everyone your diagnosis, or all of your worst experiences of anxiety so for all you know someone could be thinking that about you

I’d rather remove the stigma around anxiety, even if that did mean a minority of those who may be exaggerating about having anxiety.

Because of this attitude of “everyone thinks they have anxiety, can’t be true, some of you are just exaggerating/lazy” - I’ve always lied to my manager when calling in sick due to my mental health suffering despite actually being diagnosed with ASD and anxiety (instead I’ll say I have the flu or something)

I hate it when it's used and not genuine. It does feel like a bit of an excuse sometimes. The problem is how do you know if a poster has diagnosed anxiety or not?

I have diagnosed anxiety, depression, and obsessive compulsive disorder. I'm currently seeing a physcologist and am possibly en route to being diagnosed with other personality disorders.

I worry that if I mention 'I have anxiety' people will roll their eyes and think that I'm just using it as an excuse to not do things.

One thing I don't necessarily agree with is 'it should be treated.' Yes treatment should be sought however it's not very easy, or at least it hasn't been in my case. I've going through the system for about ten years, since I was a teenager. I've seen dozens of therapists, counsellors, I've tried lots of different medications, I've gone private. But I still have anxiety and I will always have it - it's just a case of finding ways to manage it.

YANBU. I do think perhaps what people mean is "I don't want to do it" or "I don't have the confidence to do it".

Surely the difference is whether someone experiences "normal" levels of anxiety or has a potentially diagnosable anxiety disorder. Anyone feeling anxious can say quite correctly that they have or are experiencing anxiety. Anxiety isn't a word that only those with full blown anxiety disorders have a monopoly on.

I think it's more of a problem that people seem to think that "normal" levels of anxiety are akin to a disorder, when in fact it's an entirely normal human response to feel anxious in strange or worrying situations.

I agree, I live with anxiety (diagnosed) and I view it as like diabetes, I have to live with it, give speeches and all the things that may cause anxious feelings. For what it's worth over the years I have learnt that avoidance of situations that cause anxiety, leads a repeat of those situations to trigger more and greater anxiety - that's how a world shrinks and we become dependent on tactics to avoid when facing head on is preferable, if uncomfortable to start. That said there's being kind to oneself, if at the stage of panic attacks it's about de-escalation, and gradual desensitization - not beating oneself up. But a basic understanding that avoidance of anxious situations will in turn cause anxiety to grow should be better known I feel. I'm not referring to PTSD but more GAD here.

Agree in bucketloads. Diagnosed anxiety and ptsd here, medicated and therapy - it's hell. I hate the self diagnosis culture around it. It's almost become trendy, when in fact - it's a living hell.

“ It’s a way of people describing how they feel. How would you know they wouldn’t be diagnosed with anxiety

A few years ago there were many threads complaining about people saying they are depressed once again it’s someone describing how they are feeling

Many more people would probably be diagnosed with a MH issue that medication can help if they seek help rather than just trying to live with it “

^Completely agree with @OhWhyNot
I wish I hadn’t rambled so much in my previous post, when your post is a lot more clearer haha

Given more than one in ten do have anxiety, it is pretty likely lots of people will talk about it.

I think a lot of people on this thread are being very belittling and should stop dismissing other people's problems.

I've often wondered that too. I'm an anxious person but since tgat has never changed (as a child I was regularly sick at the thought of my parents dying), I don't see it as a medical condition. Guess it's different when it's adult onset.

@yvanka

Anxiety is an emotion, and pretending that it's an illness which comes out of nowhere rather than a product of your environment or experiences is not helpful.

I do not doubt that some people experience this emotion very strongly, but overmedicalisation prevents people from taking accountability and making changes which will positively impact their mental health.

I can only presume you've been fortunate enough to never suffer from anxiety.

Everyone has anxiety now.

It’s the ‘get out’ of jail free card excuse everyone uses.

There’s a difference between saying ‘I’m anxious’ (about something) and, ‘I have anxiety’, which has come to signify a genuine mental health condition.
The latter does seem to be very much overused lately.

Nearly all of us are anxious or worried about something now and then - it’s part of the normal human condition.

I used to suffer terribly with anxiety and panic attacks. I went to a doctor because I thought I was going mad and he gave me a leaflet about it, but that was the extent of my 'treatment'. I'm sure I could have pushed for more but I didn't for whatever reason (probably anxiety-related ). I never had any treatment (I managed to overcome it by myself) - but this doesn't mean I didn't 'have' or 'suffer with' anxiety. I really did - when I look back on it, I can't believe how utterly debilitated I was by it.

My anxiety started in about 2004 - people didn't talk about it then like they do now so I felt very alone and ashamed. I'm not sure I'd feel that way if I suffered with it now - it is arguable that the amount of people talking about their anxiety is a very good thing. I wonder if I would have suffered so long if I'd been able to talk about it more openly and feel more 'normal'?

Completely agree. Dd is 13 and told me she’s spoken to her teacher who thinks she’s got anxiety. I said I don’t think she has anxiety but certain situations make her anxious and that’s something we all experience on varying levels. Humans should have a level of anxiousness, it can be a positive thing - I do not want an overt confident guy designing a plane - I want him to be anxious that getting it wrong could kill people so he takes extra care. That’s totally different to debilitating anxiety which doesn’t get genuine recognition because it’s become a buzz word.

I agree op.

I've even got to the point that I close the thread as soon as I read it in an op.

I agree to an extent, there's a huge difference between clinical anxiety and having occasional anxious feelings.

Everyone can have moments of anxiety, and it's a problem with semantics.

That's not to say that moments of anxiety can't be debilitating; and that there isn't a grey area in between the two.

I don't "have" anxiety but have suffered anxiety attacks triggered by intrusive thoughts and panic attacks usually in the middle of the night, resulting in extreme insomnia too, sometimes this spills into daytime, but the majority of days I get by without debilitating anxiety.

Anxiety is a normal emotion which most people have at some point. I don’t think there is anything wrong with saying you have anxiety. It is the correct term for when you are feeling worried, tense or afraid.

Anxiety is a normal emotion, yes, its not the same thing as a clinically-diagnosed and debilitating condition.

I have seen several threads on here where people are saying they ought to have the obligation to wear masks waived on the grounds of "anxiety". Unless this anxiety is so severe that you cannot leave the house I struggle to see that this is a good enough reason for putting people at risk of contracting COVID-19.

"Anxiety is an emotion characterized by feelings of tension, worried thoughts and physical changes like increased blood pressure. People with anxiety disorders usually have recurring intrusive thoughts or concerns. They may avoid certain situations out of worry."

I don't think it's inappropriate to describe anxiety as such by people without medical disorders. The NHS refers to anxiety 'disorders'. I think if people said they had these which were undiagnosed then it's unreasonable. But to describe being anxious or having anxiety - it's an emotion.

I have a health issue which has been rumbling on for years, seeing many consultants. Quite a few times they have written reports that I have "anxiety" or am anxious over my issue. Next time I will let them know it's inappropriate.

100% agree. I have diagnosed OCD and it really bothers me when people say they’re “so OCD” when they don’t even understand what it is or how it affects people

100% agree OP and I have the same thought every time I am on MN.

So much self diagnosing going on which completely misrepresents a Mental Health Condition.

Everyone feels anxious about something at some point. It is our job, as parents to let our dc know that. It is our job to let them know it is normal. It is also our job to let them know that you shouldn't let it stop you doing things - that there are strategies you can use. That it is okay to be uncomfortable or nervous, or have butterflies, or be worried about things - it would be unusual if you didn't - but that part of growing up is learning to deal with those feelings and not hide away and refuse to do anything that might be a bit of a challenge for you.