To dislike the casual use of ‘I have anxiety’

[Sallytheseal]

I’ve name changed for this as I’m sure I’ll get a pasting but I’ve noticed SO many threads where the OP will not do something / expect special treatment because ‘I have anxiety’ and that’s the end of the sentence.

Anxiety is a medical condition and it should be treated. It isn’t a reason to just avoid things that make you anxious. For context, I had a traumatic delivery with DC2 and developed debilitating panic attacks. I saw a therapist, had counselling for over 2 years, forced myself to build tolerance (my fear was any separation from DC and I had to build myself up to longer times). It was awful but necessary. DH also suffers from diagnosed anxiety. He has regular therapy and is medicated. He still gets anxious but isn’t part of being a responsible adult getting treatment? I fully understand that doesn’t happen straight away, I didn’t seek help till DC was 6 months and I’m all too familiar with the state of mental health provision but if you already have the awareness that you have anxiety, and that it’s affecting your behaviour, then at some point you need to seek help or at least acknowledge that you need to seek help.

I hate when posters write things like, ‘I can’t confront x, I have anxiety’. I think it belittles people with diagnosed anxiety, as if they are helpless/ unable to change. Also, if you don’t have diagnosed anxiety, it’s weird to use the name of a recognised mental health disorder to self diagnose. You can say ‘I feel anxious’ which doesn’t co-opt someone else’s genuine illness?

I’m honestly not trying to minimise anyone’s suffering but I also don’t think it’s right to misrepresent a mental health disorder.

Disrespectful and close-minded gibberish, the worst kind.

@Miljea last year I was in boots and I heard the pharmacist talking (quite loudly actually considering her job!) about how many teens were on medication for anxiety these days. She said that she had so many coming in for prescriptions for it and she thought it was way too many.

I was surprised to hear about that. When I was younger (I'm 33) I knew of one girl who saw the doctor for anxiety related issues but it was pretty unheard of otherwise. If the pharmacist was correct and representative then I think these teens are being over diagnosed with anxiety disorders, or that something is seriously wrong with our culture! I do think there's a lot wrong with our culture as it happens, but it doesn't seem right to have so many teens taking medication. I don't know.. I know it can be very helpful to some people. Maybe it is for the best, but it feels wrong to me.

I definitely think mental health services need improvement, but I wish there was more money and support for things like talking therapies rather than medication. And I think less screen time and more outdoors would be good, for all of us.

I kind of agree, but it came take some people a long time to admit they have an illness which needs medical help. I'm diagnosed and medicated for anxiety but it took me a long time to admit it to a GP.

OCD on the other hand (also diagnosed for years), it gives me actual rage. When people say they have OCD because they have to keep things clean or have jars/cans facing the same way... I'm like but will someone you live die if you don't do that? Will you go over and over in your brain for hours what could happen if you didn't fix that? Do you have to carry out rituals if they're not the right way? If you have never been diagnosed with true OCD, don't be coming at me with your 'symptoms' when I spend most of my life battling it. Most people with OCD are quite secretive about it, so when people shout it around like they have a common cold I can't handle it.

If the pharmacist was correct and representative then I think these teens are being over diagnosed with anxiety disorders, or that something is seriously wrong with our culture!

Something is seriously wrong with our culture. Oh, and anxiety and depression are extremely common mental health conditions on top of the growing de-stigmatisation of seeking help.

I developed anxiety in the last year. It's been diagnosed formally now.

I used to get nervous before Job interviews, confrontation, dates, etc. I expect I will in the future as these are normal patterns of Adrenalin spikes.

Anxiety and being nervous are not the same thing though I guess exist on a spectrum. Maybe. I'm not sure.

I didn't experience anxiety in the past. There is nothing like it.

Yanbu

Oh the typos 😂

@RhubarbAndRoses

The problem is ‘anxiety’ and ‘anxious’ are also just words to describe feelings. Everyone can feel anxiety. It’s not exclusive to those with a diagnosed illness. An ‘anxiety disorder’ is something else entirely. A normal person with good mental health can also say that something causes them anxiety. That is not offensive. I would also say a very large proportion of the world is feeling anxiety right now, it would be unusual not to be feeling it at this time. I say this as a person with a diagnosed anxiety disorder.

Yes I agree with this.

Anxiety- is a state of heightened 'arousal' (in the medical sense, not horniness); related to but distinct from 'fear'.

Anxiety Disorders are diagnosed psychiatric disorders; which may or may not respond to treatment and which do affect behaviour.

I had a panic attack half way through a tooth extraction. Do you know how hard it is to tell the dentist to just pull the fucking thing out, while clinging to the chair arms, breathing heavily, unable to speak clearly, with tears running down your face? All while the dentist thinks your in pain?
It's also very easy to hide behind a smile, that's why there are so many people, who've lost lived ones to suicide, are so surprised.

@covidaintacrime

but I am sick to the back teeth of so many young women aged14/15 to 30 who are frankly, pathetic.

Jesus, I hope you're chatting shit about being an HCP. How horrible.

You missed 'vile'. 😂😂😂

Someone mentioned a 'lack of resilience'; another poster noted how her DD was getting out of doing anything she didn't feel like doing by citing 'anxiety'.

Today, a young-ish woman didn't get a diagnostic test she would have benefitted from because the thought of it 'made her feel anxious'. Like everyone loves a cannula.

I'm sorry someone was unable to decipher what I said, calling it 'gibberish'; as opposed to saying 'I disagree, because...'.

But heigh ho!

@Rollmopsrule

lalafafa what nonsense! Lack of resilience lol!

Sometimes, it just is.

I have anxiety so I find certain situations difficult. It is so annoying when other people say they have anxiety!

What would you like people to do? Put their personal backstories in after saying 'I have anxiety', so you can decide if it's 'real' anxiety or not?

I'm sorry someone was unable to decipher what I said, calling it 'gibberish'; as opposed to saying 'I disagree, because...

A lot of it was unintelligible, bar the sweeping insults (mainly para 3, if you're curious!). If you gave it another whack, I'm sure people would start to say "I disagree because...".

In fact I'll say it right now. I disagree because calling anxious young women pathetic, (especially in the context of medical situations) is horribly unempathetic and rude. Maybe showing up was the maximum amount of "hoiking your big girl pants up" someone could do, and another anxiety-causing situation was too much - as is often the case when people have anxiety conditions. If you want to throw a few jabs at people who lie about anxiety conditions to get out of things / garner sympathy then I won't stop you and I may even agree. But frankly, anxiety is a debilitating condition and given 18% of people suffer with it, I think a little empathy would go along way (especially as a supposed HCP).

It's not incorrect to say you have anxiety though if you have it as a response to stress. Constant, low level anxiety due to stress can also adversely affect your health, and most people will be suffering from that now because we are in a pandemic.

To say people can't complain about anxiety is a bit like saying you can't complain about a pain in your leg because someone else's leg is falling off. If people are falsely claiming to have anxiety disorder, that's different.

In the current situation a lot of people will have anxiety but it can also feel with some posters like they are playing top trumps.

I suppose that if I feel anyone is using mental health, bullying, autism or things that are delicate issues to try and win a argument it get my back up.

On the other hand you never know who is genuine and who isn't. So all you can do is give people the benefit of the doubt. Then she sympathetic.

I have diagnosed GAD and depression for which I’m medicated, and I wouldn’t dream of dismissing someone else’s anxiety.

You wouldn’t think I have either of the above, they don’t stop me from speaking my mind or facing uncomfortable situations or allowing a cannula (🤔) but everyone is different, and my anxiety won’t be the same as yours.

I disagree. I have a diagnosis. Panic attacks. Beta blockers. PTSD.

You don't get to be some gatekeeper for the condition. You never know what others are experiencing.

Perhaps there are reasons why our young women are so 'pathetic':

• they've been cuddled and attachment-parented since birth
• they've been given stuff but not time by their parents
• their boyfriends have been bombarded with online pornography
• they've been bombarded with images suggesting they should be perfect physically
• their diets have high amounts of highly refined and manufactured foods
• they are bombarded with negative news
• the information they get is constantly changing, and not necessarily reliable - there is no 'truth'
• they have no concept or belief in god or divinity
• they have come to expect instant gratification for everything

My niece is 16 and has a perfect life. She's beautiful, intelligent, sporty and has an intact family. Mental health issues through the roof. Must be culture...?

I agree with you. Judging by posters on here 99% of the country suffer from anxiety.

That’s just not the case, they maybe anxious about a specific situation, but they are using anxiety as a reason not to do something when in fact it’s a simple case that they dont want to do it, rather than they can’t do it

I agree with you. Judging by posters on here 99% of the country suffer from anxiety.

Or people are drawn to threads about conditions they have ?

I think everyone is very resilient, you have to be to get through life. Anxiety is a very real problem to many people, including myself. I've seen it both sides being the supporter and the supported and everyone's experience is unique to them. If someone is saying they have anxiety, then that is something that is often a very real struggle to them. It might not be to you but we all cope with things differently. Sorry, I just hate it when people are dismissive about others people's difficulties.

YANBU, it is very different to feel anxious sometimes and to have anxiety.

@Scarlettpixie

Anxiety is a normal emotion which most people have at some point. I don’t think there is anything wrong with saying you have anxiety. It is the correct term for when you are feeling worried, tense or afraid.

Anxiety becomes a mental health problem when it affects your ability to live your life as you want - whether diagnosed or not.

Both uses of the word are correct.

This. I have ‘anxiety’ that affects my life and have had medication for it (have since come off of it), but I don’t care if others say they are struggling with anxiety even if they haven’t been officially diagnosed. Their personal feelings are still valid, it’s isn’t down to me or anyone else to tell them they’re wrong.

Mental health isn’t a competition, one personS feelings are just as valid as another’s.

I agree.

Also, “ I’m an empath” 🙄