To dislike the casual use of ‘I have anxiety’

[Sallytheseal]

I’ve name changed for this as I’m sure I’ll get a pasting but I’ve noticed SO many threads where the OP will not do something / expect special treatment because ‘I have anxiety’ and that’s the end of the sentence.

Anxiety is a medical condition and it should be treated. It isn’t a reason to just avoid things that make you anxious. For context, I had a traumatic delivery with DC2 and developed debilitating panic attacks. I saw a therapist, had counselling for over 2 years, forced myself to build tolerance (my fear was any separation from DC and I had to build myself up to longer times). It was awful but necessary. DH also suffers from diagnosed anxiety. He has regular therapy and is medicated. He still gets anxious but isn’t part of being a responsible adult getting treatment? I fully understand that doesn’t happen straight away, I didn’t seek help till DC was 6 months and I’m all too familiar with the state of mental health provision but if you already have the awareness that you have anxiety, and that it’s affecting your behaviour, then at some point you need to seek help or at least acknowledge that you need to seek help.

I hate when posters write things like, ‘I can’t confront x, I have anxiety’. I think it belittles people with diagnosed anxiety, as if they are helpless/ unable to change. Also, if you don’t have diagnosed anxiety, it’s weird to use the name of a recognised mental health disorder to self diagnose. You can say ‘I feel anxious’ which doesn’t co-opt someone else’s genuine illness?

I’m honestly not trying to minimise anyone’s suffering but I also don’t think it’s right to misrepresent a mental health disorder.

I agree too. I have had medically diagnosed GAD. It is not the same as having a few anxious feelings about things it would be perfectly normal to be anxious about.
It took medication, a long time and some therapy for me to get better!

“Having anxiety” does seem to be overused.

I was diagnosed with anxiety just over a year ago, and it has been completely debilitating at times - the physical symptoms that are visible and cannot be controlled are incredibly embarrassing. I have strong medication which is helping quite a lot, and I have a therapist, who is helping. I hope that it isn’t something I will have forever.

I hear you op and I completely agree.
To be honest, I find it insulting that people can use it so flippantly , often self diagnosed and frequently it is accompanied by “ Oh I’m
a bit OCD too”

As someone with diagnosed severe mental health issues it makes me feel sad and also cross.
My anxiety disorder is crushing ; it is there constantly and interferes with my mind constantly. The intrusive thoughts , the suicide ideation, the fear and the panic , the tears, the torture and that’s without the physical symptoms of it . Honestly, I could go on.

My anxiety is medicated with many different prescription drugs , I have been seen and diagnosed by many mental health professionals and I receive constant weekly support from my Doctor.

I wish my anxiety would just fuck off .

But it won’t .

So yeah, I agree with you op.

I agree.

I’m sure if you looked into it at least 90% of people with anxiety have diagnosed themselves!

I agree OP.

I recently had an awful pregnancy related medical experience where I explained I had anxiety (and dh had called ahead to check this was flagged since he couldn't accompany me due to covid) but the midwife heard this as 'is understandably anxious given the circumstances'.

It wasn't until I had a full blown panic attack and she read my notes that she sheepishly admitted she hadn't realised i meant medically diagnosed anxiety...

There really needs to be a better way to differentiate.

I agree.

The word worried is hugely underused!

I agree with you.
It's not black and white though.
I took medication for anxiety for 3 years, but never got an actual, written diagnosis (is that even a thing?) I just told the dr how I was and they understood and helped me. Did I have anxiety?
Now, I am mostly fine and would say I have a normal amount of anxiety about things which wpuld naturally cause most people to worry. But I also know that if I put myself in certain situations or don't address issues in the right way, then my anxiety could spiral again. So would you say I still have anxiety? I don't know.

It's also worth bearing in mind that for some people going to the dr is too big a step so they might be really struggling but without a diagnosis.

In a way I agree, but I also disagree in some aspects.
I've been on medication and had counselling for anxiety since I was 17. I'm now 30, for years it took over my life, in huge part down to not having the proper diagnosis of anxiety disorders that I have. It took years for me to be diagnosed with OCD and C PTSD. Without getting those diagnosis i wasn't able to get the right help i needed. I can only assume that this is the case for many people who can't just face the fear because they don't really know how to help themselves.
That isn't supposed to sound horrible, but in my situation until I started to get to the root of the problem I couldn't help it.

Hmm. I'm unsure. I do know exactly what you mean. I have lupus and get crashing fatigue where even holding your head up is imposing. Any brief mention of this inevitably gets the 'I get that too, it's awful' type response which makes me grateful i don't have the energy to swing at them. So I totally understand that bit.

Anxiety though I think is different from that There is clinical-type anxiety which I am fortunate enough to never have differed from, I can't begin to understand how difficult it is. But outside of this people become anxious about certain things, and have anxiety around certain things, and that's okay isn't it? I always think of it like depression, you can be clinically depressed, but you can be normally depressed too as a reaction to whatever.

Is it the conflating of the two that's the issue? People dressing up normal every day anxiety as a deeper more chronic condition?

Are you serious? You are surprised that everyone seems to suddenly have anxiety at the moment? Can you think of anything that might be causing that?

And I say this as a parent of a child who worries a LOT.
I do not want to further burden her with the armchair diagnosis of anxiety.

I have diagnosed anxiety and I disagree with you. Mental ill health, as we know, is really common. You sound like the sort of person who complains parents faking their children's autism/adhd.

Besides, the amount of times I've seen people worrying (understandably) about stuff on here to get a patronising 'you should really see someone about your anxiety OP.'

I disagree. I don't see why having a diagnosis makes anxiety "real".

^ same
I have been diagnosed with autism and anxiety. Funnily enough when I think back to when my ‘anxiety’ was at its worst, I was undiagnosed (too scared to see a Dr)

Also, I feel like there’s no ‘hard’ evidence anyone has anxiety really, as the symptoms can be so subjective.

Kind of like how a Doctor can’t always prove if a patient is lying or genuinely has a headache

I do see where you're coming from, but there can be more going on behind the scenes. My friends might have heard me make passing mention of "having anxiety" and might think the same as you as to the outside world I seem like I have my shit together, but what they don't know is that actually I have diagnosed anxiety, have had several lots of therapy and take medication, but I don't share that.

I think you definitely have a point. I also hate when people say they’re “a bit OCD about things”

People are probably using the dictionary definition of anxiety
"a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome.
"he felt a surge of anxiety"

I agree with you, OP. Like many (most?) people a lot of things make me feel anxious, especially just now, but I would never say that I "have" anxiety.

It feels like people use "I have anxiety", rather than "I am anxious" because it has more impact. The way everything is also "amazing". As a society, we seem increasingly attracted to hyperbole, particularly in language

Agree with you OP. It's the constant Facebook copy and pasting about 'anxiety, OCD' etc that gets me.

To be honest though as a mental health professional I do wish GPs would stop referring people for anxiety which can be managed with some self help and management techniques, to specialist mental health services. Not helpful for the NHS and not helpful for the individuals who are being given the label.

Anxiety is a normal part of life but can be debilitating for some. As pps have said, it's a spectrum and it's helpful to know where you sit on it and what input is needed.

I should have added that as I don't have any physical symptoms when I feel anxious, I know that I'm just a worrier.

Absolutely agree! Everyone seems to have it! Seems to be the buzz word in our secondary school which is worrying . Kids not going to class cos of their anxiety and going to a hub instead. Not saying they don’t have it have to ask do they all really . Or are they just a bit anxious about “something”. There’s a bit differnede

I put the word 'anxiety' into Advanced Search here and it's come up over 500 times in the last 24 hours.

And obviously that's just on Mumsnet.

I agree. I've had diagnosed anxiety in the past that needed CBT and drugs. I'm currently off the drugs but still need the odd appointment to keep it in check when I feel myself spiralling. Have seen so many, family included, using their mental health or anxiety they've self diagnosed as a reason to disregard covid rules and do what they want and it really irks me. Worry is not the same thing and most well adjusted people are suffering with worries about health, jobs etc at the mo

DD2 (13) and I discuss this often. She has ASD and along with that, she finds social situations, change, etc, make her anxious. She occasionally asks me whether she 'has anxiety' or 'just gets anxious a lot'. I say to her, that, to me, saying that she 'has anxiety' suggests a longevity, a continuance. It doesn't allow for her to overcome the things that make her anxious. Which she can do.

There are things which will always make her anxious (she finds groups really difficult) and things she can overcome (she's managed to get the hang of using Google Meet this time, whereas last time she almost vomited). I think, for her, an 'anxiety' label would be code for 'avoid anything uncomfortable', when in fact, she needs to face the uncomfortable as much as possible. However, for an adult who can access medication and therapy, a dx may unlock that.

There is a worrying trend of moody teenagers who make no effort and toss their hair, saying "I have anxiety...", though. It's not going to help them in adulthood.

I agree op. I am an anxious person and get overly anxious about the smallest of things, I over think everything and think of worse case scenarios all the time. It's rubbish but that's the way it is, I just get on with it. It doesn't stop me getting out of bed or going about my day. My dd has real unmanageable, debilitating anxiety for which she is receiving counselling for. She has anxiety attacks, it prevents her from doing the smallest of things and is completely unpredictable. Sometimes she can't get out of bed or get out of the car to go in to school, it's exhausting for her. I recognise that I am anxious and that she suffers from anxiety.