To breakdown lockdown for a funeral.

[Donewith2021]

Hi all, generally follow the rules pretty seriously here.

An elderly relative of mine has recently died. Not a direct relative as such but someone I feel I should go to the funeral if I was allowed within the 30max people. Assuming it’s still 30 and not less?!

Anyway, I am forward thinking here as the funeral hasn’t been fully arranged etc.

But say I was allowed to attend, feel I should if given the opportunity.. it’s likely my husband will be working and the children will be at home due to obvious reasons making it hard for me to attend. Husband has no leave left and it’s not a close enough relative for DH to warrant compassionate leave or anything.

Aibu to break the rules ask in laws to take care of them if it comes to it?!

They live pretty close and not elderly or vulnerable or anything.

We haven’t been seeing them due to lockdown but would it really be that bad for circumstances like this?!

I’m just preparing if I do get asked tbh! I don’t want to say yes and I came make it and I don’t want to say no if I could possibly go. It’s likely I will be asked as the relative doesn’t have much direct family left 😭

I've just read the govt guidance on funerals and there's nothing there that says it's breaking any rules. Likewise with childcare.
People on MN love to add to lockdown rules.
Sorry for your loss @Donewith2021

Not good enough.
A lady who was like a grandma to me died in June.
My husbands grandma died in July.
A man who raised me as his daughter died in October.
I did not attend any of their funerals. They each had 5 family members and instead I lit a candle for each of them. Just not a good enough excuse IMO.
Work, Exercise, School, food shopping. That’s it.

It's my dad's funeral on Monday. It's heart breaking but we haven't invited anyone other than the direct family.

We can't take the risk make older relatives and his friends (who are old) ill.

How old are your children?

Me and my partner didn't go to his grandads funeral last year as we thought it more important that his children and partners went. What we did was watch it on live stream and then have fish and chips and an ale on the beach as this was his favourite. Couldn't you remember them in a way like that?

Some major fucking loons on mn with covid. Covid19 the new excuse to tell people on other threads mental health problems dont exist and now telling posters that funerals dont matter and no one should go to them. Fucking stop the world i want to get off.

now telling posters that funerals dont matter and no one should go to them.
Not a single person has said that.

Thankyou @BIWI.

to everyone who has lost someone.

Thats literally the undertones of so many posts here.

@Shaniac

Thats literally the undertones of so many posts here.

Or it's the undertones of grief and despair from those struggling to process their grief when they have not been able to attend a close relative's funeral?

If the rule is now that up to 30 people can attend & @Donewith2021 is invited, will wear a mask & socially distance from others then I'm unsure why there is a problem with this??

My favourite uncle died unexpectedly (not of Covid) last Spring & only 10 of us were allowed to go to the funeral then.
It was a good send off with his favourite music but sad that we couldn't meet up for a wake after, and I was unable to hug my Auntie to comfort her.

Just go & ignore the covid sheep.

I am attending a funeral this weekend that is at the other end of the country from where I live. I will be driving there in the same car with people who aren't in my household. It is important to us all to attend. If you want to attend the funeral, attend the funeral.

I'm attending my uncles funeral in an hour. Its socially distanced, 30 people on a list.
It was never a question that I wouldn't go to represent my side of the family.

Only in MN would people make up their own Covid rules, seriously some of you think you are so superior to others. If genuinely the OPs family and the in laws have been very careful and aren't putting each other at risk then childcare isn't an issue for U14s. My parents still help with my DS2 who is 12 as he has autism and can't always be left. DH and I are also both working full time. They are not seeing anyone nor are we.

Personally I wouldn't go to a funeral of a relative or friend i am not close to right now unless it was to support DH for instance so this is the bit I dont agree with. Its an unnecessary risk but only the OP really knows if it is the right thing to do.

Alternatively the OP knows she is breaking the rules in some other way

For those stating grandparents can't be in a childcare bubble I'd live to know which bit of the rules they are interpreting. The only restriction there is with it is that the adults are not allowed to socialise it must be just the childcare aspect.