To breakdown lockdown for a funeral.

[Donewith2021]

Hi all, generally follow the rules pretty seriously here.

An elderly relative of mine has recently died. Not a direct relative as such but someone I feel I should go to the funeral if I was allowed within the 30max people. Assuming it’s still 30 and not less?!

Anyway, I am forward thinking here as the funeral hasn’t been fully arranged etc.

But say I was allowed to attend, feel I should if given the opportunity.. it’s likely my husband will be working and the children will be at home due to obvious reasons making it hard for me to attend. Husband has no leave left and it’s not a close enough relative for DH to warrant compassionate leave or anything.

Aibu to break the rules ask in laws to take care of them if it comes to it?!

They live pretty close and not elderly or vulnerable or anything.

We haven’t been seeing them due to lockdown but would it really be that bad for circumstances like this?!

I’m just preparing if I do get asked tbh! I don’t want to say yes and I came make it and I don’t want to say no if I could possibly go. It’s likely I will be asked as the relative doesn’t have much direct family left 😭

I don't understand why you'd be breaking rules? You would only be able to go to the funeral if it was less than 30 people or a lower limit from the funeral home. You can have a childcare bubble if you have children under 14 so long as you don't socialise with them. Do you already have a childcare bubble? If so, could they have the children while you go?

Judging by your responses it seems as if you’ll break the rules anyway. And this is precisely why the country is still in this mess

I don’t think the poster is breaking the rules. She can attend a funeral and have a childcare bubble.

I missed my relatives funeral as I didn't want to put MIL at risk asking her to babysit and had no other option.

I watched it online and cried my eyes out. It was very sad to see the chairs so far apart etc.

It's crap but the truth is, we all think it's 'other people' breaking the rules, but if we do it, it's because our reasons are sound.

The sooner this shit show is over, and life (and indeed death) can get back to normal the better.

You feel that you should go, however it doesn't seem like you've been asked? When I had to arrange my mums funeral a few weeks ago I made sure that the people I wanted there were aware that they should come before we had a finalised date. I still had people demand to come as they "felt they needed to be there" over close family! Don't be one of those people.

I'm not quite sure what the point was of posting here at all - it has obviously really upset you that some people might not think it's a good idea, and you can check the rules yourself if you think there is a chance you will be breaking them.

I'm sorry for your loss, and the other losses you have suffered this year.

@Garlicbagelmonster

Judging by your responses it seems as if you’ll break the rules anyway. And this is precisely why the country is still in this mess

But she isn’t breaking the rules! She is allowed a childcare bubble and she is allowed to attend a funeral (if within the permitted number)

Why are so many people saying this is against the rules when it so clearly is not?

YABBU. People have had to miss funerals of close relatives because of Covid so why should you be allowed to go to a funeral and break the rules in order to do so when it's not even a close relative?

Why are so many people saying this is against the rules when it so clearly is not?

The OP presumably knows the rules where she is better than you do and the OP says she will be breaking the rules if she uses the in laws for childcare.

Go to the funeral.

I can't believe the way this situation is draining people if all humanity and empathy.

@LimaFoxtrotCharlie

You can go and you would not be breaking any rules. You are allowed a childcare bubble (if you do not already have a support bubble) and you are allowed to attend a funeral providing the permitted number of attendees is not exceeded. Go, or you will regret it forevermore

This. I don't see any rule breaking. I've been to 2 funerals in the last 2 months, and social distancing was properly observed.

A very very close friend of mine has died, I'm not going to the funeral tomorrow out of respect for lockdown and all the other people who have died from covid, why do so many people on here think they are exempt from all of the rules, it's sickening.
My friend deserved a huge funeral with everyone there, but it isn't going to happen.

My Dad's funeral was two days ago. The crematorium only allowed twelve people and no one inside the gates. Not even all his grandchildren could attend. I would only go for immediate family.

Two of my uncles have died since March. There was no question that anyone would go apart from immediate family. There will be time for wakes and memorials when this is over. I'm sorry OP but to break lockdown for a funeral is beyond stupid.

I had to miss a funeral in the early days of lockdown, so I attended via the webstream.

It was, surprisingly, almost as if I was there. I certainly felt able to share in the service and the emotional side of it.

If you want to be at the funeral @Donewith2021 is that not a good compromise? The only difference is that you don't get to see (in person) the other mourners. There's no wake afterwards either!

JellyNo15 sorry for your loss.

Do what you feel is right under the circumstances. Childrdn can be looked after.

Honestly, you lot! I don't think people attending funerals is the reason we still have covid! Its to do with shops, schools and work places.

Pretty sure OP would not be breaking any rules anyway. Childcare is allowed for under 14s and funerals currently have a limit of 30. As long as attendance is less than that its all still allowed.

I am sorry for anyone who had to miss other funerals for whatever reason. The rules have changed a lot this year.

Are you in England? You’re allowed a childcare bubble and you’re allowed to attend funerals (up the the permitted number). This wouldn’t be breaking rules in England.

@Viviennemary

Do what you feel is right under the circumstances. Childrdn can be looked after.

And this is why we are in lockdown number three with numbers of infections rising daily.

OP, why post for opinions if you have no intention of listening to what anyone has to say unless they agree with you?

It’s not illegal to attend a funeral. It’s not illegal to form a bubble for childcare purposes

I was not advocating breaking any rules. OP can attend a funeral. And her children can be looked after.

We’re still in lockdown because everyone is attending funerals? Christ alive the fucking hyperbole is outstanding!

@Hazelnutlatteplease

No this doesn't fall within the childcare support bubble criteria
Can you explain why? I have looked at the rules and cannot see anything suggesting the OP cannot use her ILS as a childcare bubble.

Nor is this within the lockdown rules within funerals
If you are invited to a funeral, you are allowed to attend as long as there are not more than 30 attendees. Attendees sit together if they are from the same household, 2m apart from members of other households. They wear masks. I don't know why you think the OP cannot attend a funeral.

If her DH cannot provide childcare, this is really not something the OP should be doing
Oh, this is just your opinion, not a law or guidance. Just because the OP has a husband, doesn't mean he is able to provide childcare. He is working outside of the home and cannot take leave.

OP, as long as you are invited, there is no reason why you cannot attend your Great Uncle's funeral. If I was in your position and invited, I would go.