I can't buy you formula but il help you breastfeed ?

[zuptop]

I have just seen this on one of the local Facebook groups . Can't help but feel this is adding pressure onto women who already have made decision to formula feed.

Something just doesn't sit right for me...
Although I am sure they believe they are being kind

"As well as donating items to a local food bank, I’d like to help parents who are struggling to afford infant formula. I can’t buy any for you but I can support you to maximise your breast milk production and therefore decrease how much formula you need to buy.
I’m a trained breastfeeding peer supporter and I’m part way through my breastfeeding counsellor studies"

So YABU- lady in question is just trying to help mums build milk supply or
YANBU- post is a little judge of formula and putting pressure on mums to breastfeed when they might not want to/ be able to.

[quote zuptop]@ThanksItHasPockets it's great she is offering help! But please re read it she is specifically saying to reduce consumption of formula [/quote]
Why would that be bad? Human milk is for human babies. Formula is dried cows milk, made for cows, and vegetable oil and vitamins. What’s wrong with a baby getting more human milk if that’s what its mum wants it to have?

Many of the girls I know that formula feed tried breastfeeding and HAD to change (baby not gaining weight, needed medical help not suitible with breastfeeding or even just for their mental health after developing feeding related depression).

I know a few mothers who fell into this category (not girls met only a few mothers who had children under 18 and oddly all three bf and were very pro bf) but met many more force into ff because they didn't get help with supply issues or tounge ties who's have really prefer to bf longer.

I can accept both groups exist - and only one might be interested in this offer.

Sorry I have to agree with the OP, there's something off about the way it's worded like she wants them to give bf another go when they've clearly chosen to formula feed and for some their bf journey was a particularly painful one that they don't wish to revisit.

Btw my local food bank has asked for formula milk donations in the past and I donated some in the first lockdown so it obviously isn't the same rule everywhere. FWIW I bf all my 3 DCs but I believe a woman's choice about how she feeds her child should be respected and I feel a tad insulting to imply that they could save money by bf for free like you think they didn't know that information from when they were pregnant.

@AnneLovesGilbert because mother has chose to formula feed so bloody respect their decision !!!

A breastfeeding expert, a trainee breast feeding counsellor ! good grief, I have never heard of such job desription tosh.

I'm not a mother so I'm not reading the comment with any prejudice.

I see it as just being helpful, offering what she can to people. Would you expect her to buy formula for people??

No it's not.

To correct your analogy, it's closer to showing someone how to cook with cheaper cuts of meat so that they can save money.

@AnneLovesGilbert it has been mentioned throughout not everyone can breastfeed so it is potentially reintroducing painful memories of it to women who are formula feeding for example they have had to have a mastectomy !

@1forAll74

A breastfeeding expert, a trainee breast feeding counsellor ! good grief, I have never heard of such job desription tosh.

Very lucrative apparently.

therefore decrease how much formula you need to buy.

From your OP. She does not say 'decrease the amount of formula your baby has to drink'. The motivation is so very clearly to help the parents save some money.

Well if that's what she does as a job then I guess there's nothing wrong with it. I probably would have been grateful if my kiddies were still babies.

Sleepingstandingup I should have been clearer, it's illegal for people in an official capacity, as they have a duty of care to safeguard their survice users (from aggressive marketing). No one is going to raid your MIL's shopping, but food banks etc could find them selves in hot water, especially if a formula company made the donation, as that would be a conflict of interest.

Not sure what capacity this woman is acting in, but if she is part of a charity or organisation then she could be bound by the same rules.

@ThanksItHasPockets but the mother doesn't breastfeed she formula feeds .

Same as the person doesn't eat meat and your trying to make them . Your saying this is your only way of eating .

“ Draineddraineddrained

@LuaDipa

I’m sorry that you had such a tough time with feeding, but in the op, she doesn’t say she won’t buy formula, she says she can’t. She doesn’t clarify the reasons, although pp have said that food banks do not accept or distribute donations of infant formula. I think this is an important distinction.

Well exactly. People get total tunnel vision when they see breastfeeding mentioned, they read what they want to read rather than what's there **because there is so much suspicion and hatred of breastfeeding and breastfeeding mothers in our culture.”

Suspicion and hatred? Not from me. I would have dearly loved to be a breastfeeding mother.

Please don’t blame people like me for getting so emotional about BF issues. It brings up a lot of very intense feelings I never thought I would have experienced pre-kids, and it’s all still very raw as my son is only three months old and yet again my body has failed. I appreciate I cannot be objective about this due to personal experience, but it is 100% not because I hate or am suspicious of breastfeeding mothers. I take it too personally because it is very personal.

I appreciate now that this lady probably had the best intentions, and it’s just her wording that let her down.

If somebody is struggling to afford formula then assuming they still have some milk supply, support with BFing is the very best thing they could be given, surely?

@Orlania she doesn't work she claims benefits she has posted before on the group regarding her benefits

@mam0918

*People formula feed for a reason very few do it from just not understanding breastfeeding.

I had a damn mastectomy and Im high risk of reoccurance (after my last pregnancy I was rushed back to the clinic with 2 new growths) its not that Im too stupid to understand how breast feeding works.

Many of the girls I know that formula feed tried breastfeeding and HAD to change (baby not gaining weight, needed medical help not suitible with breastfeeding or even just for their mental health after developing feeding related depression).*

See this sort of anger is what I'm talking about. No-one is saying someone is 'stupid' for not knowing everything about breastfeeding. We have such a heavy-duty formula feeding country that as a whole society we lack knowledge and experience of breastfeeding and normal infant feeding behaviour, we lack cultural knowledge about the issues that arise and how to deal with them. Medical professionals charged with caring for newborns (Midwives, HVs, paediatricians) often only get a 1 hour session on breastfeeding maybe once a year. The information they give mothers is often wrong, just plain wrong, and that is not their fault or the mothers' fault - it is because we as a society have marginalised breastfeeding to the point that it is an area of specialist knowledge when it should be general knowledge.

So for example women are told by their HVs that if a newborn baby is wanting to feed more than every 3 hours there is a problem with milk transfer - when in fact cluster feeding is a normal part of building up supply.

Midwives tell women that painful, bloody nipples are normal and need to 'oughen up' - when in fact this is a strong indication that there are issues with the baby's latch.

There was a thread recently where a mum was reporting what sounded like severe PND. the number of posters telling her she should give up breastfeeding so she could take anti-depressants was incredible, and lots of GPs would no doubt give the same advice - when in fact there are a number of effective SSRIs that can be taken safely whilst breastfeeding. Also a number of people attributing her PND to breastfeeding, even though the evidence shows breastfeeding has a protective effect on mothers' mental health.

Dentists frequently advise women to stop breastfeeding once child has teeth because it gives children caries - this has been disproved, but the incorrect advice keeps on being given because no-one but bf specialists bother to update themselves.

This is not about some women being 'stupid'; it's about a systemic national forgetting of what should be core cultural knowledge about how babies breastfeed.

[quote zuptop]@ThanksItHasPockets but the mother doesn't breastfeed she formula feeds .

Same as the person doesn't eat meat and your trying to make them . Your saying this is your only way of eating . [/quote]
You mean the imaginary mother on whose behalf you have decided to get offended?

yabu

it has been mentioned throughout not everyone can breastfeed so it is potentially reintroducing painful memories of it to women who are formula feeding for example they have had to have a mastectomy !

Well I get that, but do you think these services shouldn't be advertised because it might upset someone who can't breastfeed for whatever reason? It seems a little unfair on those who can, and would benefit from the help. Can't people just look at things these days, think that's not for me, and move on?

🙄 No idea why this offended.

only read page one but i think anyone who has a baby and cannot afford formula is in a really bad position and has bigger problems than listening to advice from a facebook stranger with good intentions...

well thats what I wanted help with. Increase my BF reduce the formula. And as a peersupporter I know mums approached the service wanting the same.

[quote zuptop]@AnneLovesGilbert it has been mentioned throughout not everyone can breastfeed so it is potentially reintroducing painful memories of it to women who are formula feeding for example they have had to have a mastectomy ! [/quote]
But then personally we should never ever mention anything to do with bf for the same reasons. If she's insensitive for mentioning bf then everything about it is

Also thinking about it since formula powder only comes in huge tins and you are told to throw it away once opened for a month would you really be saving money by just slightly decreasing how many feeds you do from the same tin?