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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to get a Covid test once a week

196 replies

eagle27 · 14/01/2021 13:31

New dp has an underlying health condition to do with his breathing, not classed as shielding but could be very bad if he got covid.

At first we were extremely careful only meeting outdoors etc but he was completely on his own over Christmas due to family living in London. He really wanted to see me indoors so after my ds went off to his dads, I got a covid test, it came back negative the next day so I went and saw dp and stayed over.

Did the same thing last week, ds goes to his dads on a Thursday so I got tested then and saw dp after result came back on Saturday. Dp now wants me to start doing this every week so we can see each other as he is really struggling atm. Me taking the tests isn't his idea - he isn't bothered either way, but I was refusing to see him indoors early on because if I passed it to him and he became seriously ill/died I would never forgive myself. so this is the only way I personally am willing to see him.

AIBU to keep doing this? Will I flag up anywhere if I continue to get tested every week? I'm worried the test centre might challenge me and I don't want to get in trouble. I know tests are only supposed to be for people with symptoms but I think our circumstances are quite unique. I am also actually classed as a key worker but I WFH.
There is the option when booking a test to state whether you are a key worker but I normally tick "no" in case they notify my work I keep getting these tests. So I just claim to have symptoms instead and am now worried its logging the fact that I apparently have symptoms every week...

So my question is AIBU to book another test today, I am currently in two minds about whether or not to do it as scared of repercussions.

OP posts:
user7778 · 14/01/2021 15:06

Yes you are being exceptionally unreasonable, and no your situation is not unique

frustrationcentral · 14/01/2021 15:07

Oh yippee, maybe it's people having tests just for the sake of it is why I've waited 6 days - and subsequently missed a whole week of work- for my results

Please don't clog up the system...

emilyfrost · 14/01/2021 15:07

YABVU and selfish. You are not an exception; regardless of how “unique” you think your circumstances are this is not okay. Your anxiety doesn’t justify this.

RedskyBynight · 14/01/2021 15:07

If neither of you see anyone else, your risk of either of you catching Covid is practically zero. In fact it will probably be increased by going to the test centre.

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 14/01/2021 15:08

I'm afraid this situation is not unique
My ex dp wanted my son to do one every week as ex mil is recovering from cancer and ex DP does her shopping etc and was worried he would pass covid on to her if he saw ds
He wanted ds to do regular tests but I said no its necessary. Tests can come back negative during the incubation period so that's unreliable.
Ds and his dad are not seeing each other til ex mil has been vaccinated. Hard decision but sensible

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 14/01/2021 15:09

*unnecessary

Beautifulbonnie · 14/01/2021 15:11

Why can’t you have private tests weekly?

Is it money?

Beautifulbonnie · 14/01/2021 15:12

What’s unique about your situation?

Blondeshavemorefun · 14/01/2021 15:12

as so many others have said, its a no and selfish

those tests are for those with symptoms

go private or many councils are doing the rapid tests

wonkylegs · 14/01/2021 15:40

Not unique situation at all - loads of people have some version or another of your dilemma
You are in the wrong
DH is an acute hospital consultant working with CV patients so really high risk of catching it and I am immunosuppressed & disabled so high risk if I catch it - DH is only allowed to be tested if symptomatic (his hospital doesn't do the lateral flow tests due to the high false negative rates)
We live together and have to see each other as I wouldn't be able to look after the kids completely not my own especially as it's been high risk of exposure for us since the first lockdown last March. We have had tests but only when we have symptoms and have isolated when we were waiting.
We reduce exposure as much as we can, we hope others do to and we have fingers crossed that we'll be ok. It's been a stressful year.

ShalomToYouJackie · 14/01/2021 15:50

I know tests are only supposed to be for people with symptoms but I think our circumstances are quite unique.

Nothing about your circumstances are unique, thousands of people would love to be able to test regularly so they can visit their vulnerable loved ones who they haven't been able to see for months.

Get a private test, it's not fair to use resources that are meant to be for people with symptoms just so you can see your boyfriend.

vodkaredbullgirl · 14/01/2021 15:57

WTF

wingingiteveryday · 14/01/2021 15:58

I couldn't get myself and my partner a test a couple of weeks ago because our son had already had one the week before. We all had symptoms but there were no tests.

At least you got your shag though.

Incredulous.

vodkaredbullgirl · 14/01/2021 15:58

I get tested weekly but that's because I work in a care home.

MissMarpleDarling · 14/01/2021 16:10

Surely this is a joke?

Timeforredwine · 14/01/2021 16:10

AGAIN THESE TESTS ARE FOR ASYMPTOMATIC NOT IF YOU THINK YOU HAVE IT OR HAVE ANY SYMPTOMS - 2 separate issues it isnt difficult to differentiate. I think the problem is that the op said she is unique and isnt and that is what has got people annoyed. Honestly!

Palavah · 14/01/2021 16:11

@ShalomToYouJackie

I know tests are only supposed to be for people with symptoms but I think our circumstances are quite unique.

Nothing about your circumstances are unique, thousands of people would love to be able to test regularly so they can visit their vulnerable loved ones who they haven't been able to see for months.

Get a private test, it's not fair to use resources that are meant to be for people with symptoms just so you can see your boyfriend.

This, a hundred times over.

If you want a more frequent test then try to sign up to the COVID study and they'll testt you regularly.

Minnie16889 · 14/01/2021 16:14

Completely unnecessary and selfish.
Genuine people are having to take time off work waiting on test results, because of people like you it can take longer.
Its pointless too, you can test negative one day and the next you could be positive without knowing.
Suck it up like the rest of us.

Brighterthansunflowers · 14/01/2021 16:15

@Timeforredwine

No, OP said she’s lying that she has symptoms.

Of course she wouldn’t be unreasonable if it was asymptotic testing in the area she lives in, but that’s not the case here no matter how much you shout at us.

imalmosthere · 14/01/2021 16:33
  1. He's not ecv or he'd be shielding. And if it was THAT severe he shouldn't be risking seeing you anyway.
  2. weekly tests won't guarantee you don't have covid. It can be in your system undetected and passed to anyone.
  3. The nhs is on its knees, this system was put in place to save lives, not so you can see your boyfriend of all of five minutes.
  4. Someone could really need the test you're lying to receive.
  5. your circumstances are nowhere near unique. The entire country want to see loved ones.

This is one of the most selfish and entitled posts I've read on here. Yes you would get flagged and fined, and frankly I hope you are caught if you continue to abuse the system.

AmandaHugenkiss · 14/01/2021 16:34

Echoing previous posters, your circumstances are not unique. I work in healthcare, and know personally several people who have actually MOVED OUT to protect their vulnerable DP, DH or DC who have actual conditions that make them CEV.

They don’t see them, or they shield for 10 days before seeing them, or they have managed to persuade their employers to let them work from home and shield with them.

If you feel you are a risk to your new boyfriend you are bubbling with, then your options are:

  1. Don’t see him
  2. See him but both be aware you could give him COVID.
  3. Pay for private tests but be aware you are wasting your money (with any type of test). You incubate it for up to ten days before becoming positive, so a negative on Thursday doesn’t mean you won’t be positive by Saturday.
  4. shield for 10 days then see him

You didn’t say, is your DP shielding on his own? If he’s going out to work himself, out to do his shopping, or lives with anyone else going out, all of the above is pointless as he’s putting himself at risk anyway.

Maverickess · 14/01/2021 16:35

@vodkaredbullgirl

I get tested weekly but that's because I work in a care home.
Yeah me too, because there's no choice about getting close to vulnerable people because they need care. Why do you think you are such a special case when so many elderly people at home or in care homes (and so many more in wider society) have been isolated from their families to protect them? It's been deemed not essential enough to provide tests for family members to see their relatives unless it's end of life. Every day it takes for my test to come back is a day I might be at work passing this virus on, and every test that goes through the system is delaying that result.

You've either been living under a rock for the best part of a year or you're staggeringly selfish and so is your partner.

AKissAndASmile · 14/01/2021 16:38

Aside from the dubious moral side: lying, wasting NHS resources etc, you're breaking the law mixing households regardless of the negative results.

FourTeaFallOut · 14/01/2021 16:38

Yes, YABU, give your head a wobble.

Timeforredwine · 14/01/2021 16:38

VERY SORRY I read wrong, didnt realise she was lying about symptoms and that is ABSOLUTELY UNACCEPTABLE, COMPLETELY BIZZARE as you can get tested without symptoms. Although tbh apart from a positive result I think if you get negative it only is talking about the time you had the test not the 24 hrs before you get result or day of result and as we are only supposed to bubble with same people cant see why you NEED to go and have one BUT upto individual and their situation for whatever reason.