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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to get a Covid test once a week

196 replies

eagle27 · 14/01/2021 13:31

New dp has an underlying health condition to do with his breathing, not classed as shielding but could be very bad if he got covid.

At first we were extremely careful only meeting outdoors etc but he was completely on his own over Christmas due to family living in London. He really wanted to see me indoors so after my ds went off to his dads, I got a covid test, it came back negative the next day so I went and saw dp and stayed over.

Did the same thing last week, ds goes to his dads on a Thursday so I got tested then and saw dp after result came back on Saturday. Dp now wants me to start doing this every week so we can see each other as he is really struggling atm. Me taking the tests isn't his idea - he isn't bothered either way, but I was refusing to see him indoors early on because if I passed it to him and he became seriously ill/died I would never forgive myself. so this is the only way I personally am willing to see him.

AIBU to keep doing this? Will I flag up anywhere if I continue to get tested every week? I'm worried the test centre might challenge me and I don't want to get in trouble. I know tests are only supposed to be for people with symptoms but I think our circumstances are quite unique. I am also actually classed as a key worker but I WFH.
There is the option when booking a test to state whether you are a key worker but I normally tick "no" in case they notify my work I keep getting these tests. So I just claim to have symptoms instead and am now worried its logging the fact that I apparently have symptoms every week...

So my question is AIBU to book another test today, I am currently in two minds about whether or not to do it as scared of repercussions.

OP posts:
MaryGubbins · 14/01/2021 13:54

Besides anything else The test doesn’t trigger till you’ve enough covid for it but you can still be incubating covid and it might be enough to transmit (especially as you’ll be tested a couple of days before you see him).

People not understanding this are the same people who say they didn’t isolate after a positive contact as they had a negative test.

Original poster
eagle27 · 14/01/2021 13:55

@MaudHatter

You must be joking . You want a weekly test so you can see your boyfriend . And he is a boyfriend, not a partner as you refer to him 😂
I think some of you are being unnecessarily harsh. It isn't a booty call, we have been together since August but it was a completely different kettle of fish back then as cases were almost zero where we live. When cases started rising we switched to outdoor meetings only.

It's not as if we're breaking the rules by seeing each other, neither of us see anyone else and we both WFH so we are allowed to bubble. So not the same as people seeing relatives etc in contravention of the rules. We both have mental health issues and I dont think its unreasonable of me to not want to wait 4+ months to be able to see my partner indoors? Having been home alone with a young child for 10 months now.

I have looked into private testing and am considering ordering 3 kits for £100 but I dont think they would arrive in time for this weekend.

And for the record I've only done this twice for the purposes of seeing him.

OP posts:
Northofsomewhere · 14/01/2021 13:55

I agree, YABU. At the moment there will be huge demand for tests and the processing of test due to our current situation, you're taking up some of the demand on a regular basis with little evidence you need a test.

There are other things you could do to ensure you are likely to be covid free. The tests aren't 100% accurate anyway and you're taking yourself into a high risk environment every single week. It also only test if you are negative in that moment, a day later and you might test positive.

To reduce your risk to your partner avoid going out at all, do click and collect/online food delivery. Do all shopping online and only exercise in your own space you can control.

Tenyearsgone · 14/01/2021 13:57

Plenty of local councils are offering tests to people with no symptoms, mine is.They are doing lots of community testing. So go for it, OP.

Have a look to see if your area has a walk in lateral flow test center.

mynameiscalypso · 14/01/2021 13:57

So you've been together 5 months?

EileenGC · 14/01/2021 13:57

You could get a weekly private test, yes. They cost £120-150 or so. The £400 ones give you the results at the end of the day. Anyone can buy them, for whatever reason they want.

You would be unreasonable to continue getting free NHS tests each week if you don't have symptoms. Unless of course, you're in an area that encourages community testing and there's plenty of tests available.

If you want a weekly test, you can pay for it.

Dogsorlogs · 14/01/2021 13:57

You do realise that all tests need to be processed in a lab by staff who are absolutely on their knees with the volume of work they get. Horrendously selfish of both of you to even consider doing this.

UglyHoose · 14/01/2021 13:57

Very unreasonable and selfish. You are adding to the delays for people who really do need a test and can't work until they get a result.

However if you were paying privately then I would not think YWU, as you would not be impacting on other people.

Lochroy · 14/01/2021 13:58

Bloody hell OP! Aside from the fact you may still be incubating the virus so your plan isn't foolproof, it's really poor behaviour. You need to book private tests.

Tenyearsgone · 14/01/2021 13:59

@Dogsorlogs

You do realise that all tests need to be processed in a lab by staff who are absolutely on their knees with the volume of work they get. Horrendously selfish of both of you to even consider doing this.
Would you like to tell my local authority that? They are sending people door to door and giving out tests to any one who wants one.
Toomanycats99 · 14/01/2021 13:59

In my area they say two asymptomatic tests a week per person and recommend you have at least 1 a week and 2 if you are close contact with vulnerable people.

CrocodilesCry · 14/01/2021 14:00

You can get a rapid test (community testing for people with no symptoms) if they are provided in your area.
These are still no guarantee you don't have Covid-19.
Getting a test meant for symptomatic people every week is wrong and selfish. And still only means that you were not positive for the virus at the time you took the test.

rose69 · 14/01/2021 14:01

Mental health is important. Book lateral flow test as cheaper abs immediate results.

Tenyearsgone · 14/01/2021 14:01

I work in community testing. People are being encouraged to take tests even if they have no symptoms.

FreakinFrankNFurter · 14/01/2021 14:03

Your circumstances are not unique Hmm.

If you want the reassurance of a weekly covid test then you and your boyfriend need to put your hand in your pocket and pay for private tests

Learningtobehappier · 14/01/2021 14:04

Of course YABU could you imagine everyone doing it because they want to see their boyfriend?

kingkuta · 14/01/2021 14:04

In my area they say two asymptomatic tests a week per person and recommend you have at least 1 a week and 2 if you are close contact with vulnerable people
Yep. Most people I know have weekly tests here. LF tests, walk in, results in 30 mins and available to everyone. I think a lot of people on MN are stuck back in the early days Mar/Apr when there just weren't any tests available

lifestooshort123 · 14/01/2021 14:05

It's nothing to do with you seeing your boyfriend - sounds as though you can form a support bubble - but it is to do with holding up a result for a critical/key worker who really does need to know they're negative. I do think it's a tad selfish and you could pay for the private tests and give this weekend a miss. If neither of you see anyone else then I'd have thought you'd be OK anyway.

Orchidflower1 · 14/01/2021 14:05

A)
Don’t travel to see someone you’re not livening with.

B) You see anyone indoors anyway unless they are a tradesperson.

C) Buy your own tests unless you have a reason for them.

breatheinskipthegym · 14/01/2021 14:05

I’m CEV and the other members of my household are extremely careful. Even when lockdown/tiers allow it, we don’t meet with others etc. We don’t go to supermarkets, and pretty much informally self isolate so as to protect me. Can’t you do similar, especially as you WFH, and legitimately bubble with your BF?

Never mind the risk of being flagged, I think lying to get tests is unethical. It’s also not the effective solution that you think it is, as others have pointed out.

Godimabitch · 14/01/2021 14:05

Insanely selfish. You're not unique at all, most of the country desperately wants to see someone. Can DH and I start doing this every weekend so we can have dinner with his elderly parents? How about my mum so she can see her grandchildren? And every other person in the country, not like country's on its knees as it is eh?!

Xmasgrump · 14/01/2021 14:06

And for the record I've only done this twice for the purposes of seeing him.

@eagle27 so how many times have you tested in total then?

2020newbie · 14/01/2021 14:06

Your circumstances are not unique. There’s a huge amount of adults living separately from their parents abiding by the rules and waiting it out. I’m a key worker and carer for my extremely vulnerable grandparent (terminal cancer that’s spread to lungs) as much as I wish I could see my boyfriend I can’t. We wouldn’t dream of abusing the system for our own selfishness.

Either accept the risk to see each other or don’t see each other

Timeforredwine · 14/01/2021 14:07

Actually they have set up several hubs now for anyone WITHOUT SYMPTOMS to test yourself as often as you want, you have to fo test pm and hand in by 12 noon next day and results in 24 hours. It is in case you are ASYMPTOMATIC, then obviously you wouldn't know and if it comes back positive you can isolate. IT IS FOR ANYONE TO ACCESS WHENEVER THEY WANT WHICH CAN STOP THE SPREAD AND BREAK THE CHAIN. I wouldn't say once a week at a hub in your local area is too often. Anyone on here even if you are staying at home and only going to shop or school could potentially still spread due to not knowing they have it. It is the point of opening up local hubs to test ONLY ASYMPTOMATIC people.

2020newbie · 14/01/2021 14:07

Posted too quick should read “living separately from their partners”