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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to get a Covid test once a week

196 replies

eagle27 · 14/01/2021 13:31

New dp has an underlying health condition to do with his breathing, not classed as shielding but could be very bad if he got covid.

At first we were extremely careful only meeting outdoors etc but he was completely on his own over Christmas due to family living in London. He really wanted to see me indoors so after my ds went off to his dads, I got a covid test, it came back negative the next day so I went and saw dp and stayed over.

Did the same thing last week, ds goes to his dads on a Thursday so I got tested then and saw dp after result came back on Saturday. Dp now wants me to start doing this every week so we can see each other as he is really struggling atm. Me taking the tests isn't his idea - he isn't bothered either way, but I was refusing to see him indoors early on because if I passed it to him and he became seriously ill/died I would never forgive myself. so this is the only way I personally am willing to see him.

AIBU to keep doing this? Will I flag up anywhere if I continue to get tested every week? I'm worried the test centre might challenge me and I don't want to get in trouble. I know tests are only supposed to be for people with symptoms but I think our circumstances are quite unique. I am also actually classed as a key worker but I WFH.
There is the option when booking a test to state whether you are a key worker but I normally tick "no" in case they notify my work I keep getting these tests. So I just claim to have symptoms instead and am now worried its logging the fact that I apparently have symptoms every week...

So my question is AIBU to book another test today, I am currently in two minds about whether or not to do it as scared of repercussions.

OP posts:
wildraisins · 14/01/2021 14:42

It's very selfish and you are not unique or in any kind of exceptional circumstances compared with anyone else.

SomewhereInbetween1 · 14/01/2021 14:42

Morally you absolutely should not test every week just to see your boyfriend indoors. The health service is on its knees processing tests and results for people who are worried they have contracted a virus that could kill them, and you want to use that same service to see your boyfriend indoors? I know it's not what you want to hear OP but I just don't think it's on.

I know it must be hard for so many people in your circumstances but testing frequently using public services is not the answer.

TinySongstress · 14/01/2021 14:43

I suspect you're probably lying about having symptoms to get a test. That's despicable.

YABMU!!!!!Angry

LucilleTheVampireBat · 14/01/2021 14:43

You must be joking . You want a weekly test so you can see your boyfriend . And he is a boyfriend, not a partner as you refer to him

I know it's off topic but I have never understood why people on here say things like this ^^

Do you think it invalidates your skill at snaring yourself a man to marry if another woman refers to someone as her partner? It's such a smug married arsehole response. Nobody is going to come round and prize the wedding ring from your finger and steal your prize of a husband because a woman refers to a boyfriend as a partner.

PTW1234 · 14/01/2021 14:44

You can get private testing you PAY for.

YABVU

Timeforredwine · 14/01/2021 14:45

People are right you are not unique, lots of bubbles where you are one household so font need to But councils are encouraging you too BUT you are fully entitled to go to your local hub to be tested if you so wish, that is the local hub for community testing ASYMPTOMATIC only.

BBCONEANDTWO · 14/01/2021 14:46

Gosh I can't believe people are so selfish - the time it takes to get the test then get the lab to run the tests - bloody hell fire - I'm shocked.

Plus you're working from home - I have to go into the hospital EVERY DAY and I'm not eligible even or the LFT tests yet. Don't be so selfish.

TolstoyAteMyHamster · 14/01/2021 14:48

Our area offers walk in tests for anyone who is asymptomatic - it is available to anyone over the age of 3 who lives or works here, is free, and gives results within an hour. They "particularly encourage" people at high risk of exposure but are very clear that anyone can access them. And they are actively encouraging take up on social media.

We are going weekly because the DC go back and forth to their dad's house and I don't know what his movements are, or who he is seeing. Are we also selfish cunts, UncleBill?

Norwayreally · 14/01/2021 14:49

You should pay for private tests if you want to do this. Absolute madness.

AnneLovesGilbert · 14/01/2021 14:50

Can you elaborate on what makes your situation unique?

AlwaysCheddar · 14/01/2021 14:51

Wow..... selfish.

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/01/2021 14:52

@LucilleTheVampireBat

You must be joking . You want a weekly test so you can see your boyfriend . And he is a boyfriend, not a partner as you refer to him

I know it's off topic but I have never understood why people on here say things like this ^^

Do you think it invalidates your skill at snaring yourself a man to marry if another woman refers to someone as her partner? It's such a smug married arsehole response. Nobody is going to come round and prize the wedding ring from your finger and steal your prize of a husband because a woman refers to a boyfriend as a partner.

Normally I'd agree with you but they been seeing each other five months, and for a lot of that weekly. I've probably spent more time with my hairdresser.
mynameiscalypso · 14/01/2021 14:53

@Timeforredwine

People are right you are not unique, lots of bubbles where you are one household so font need to But councils are encouraging you too BUT you are fully entitled to go to your local hub to be tested if you so wish, that is the local hub for community testing ASYMPTOMATIC only.
But that's not what the OP is doing. She is lying about symptoms so she can shag her boyfriend. That doesn't help anyone.
Tenyearsgone · 14/01/2021 14:53

Our area sends teams of people out to knock doors and offer tests to any one who wants one. No need to have symptoms to take a test. I don't think all the people who agree to take the tests are 'selfish cunts'

GwendolineMarysLaces · 14/01/2021 14:54

This is not okay. It's also giving you false reassurance as you can test negative one day and become infectious the next. I know of a person who swabbed negative upon hospital discharge, went home, and in the next day or so passed it on to the rest of the household

mynameiscalypso · 14/01/2021 14:54

@TolstoyAteMyHamster

Our area offers walk in tests for anyone who is asymptomatic - it is available to anyone over the age of 3 who lives or works here, is free, and gives results within an hour. They "particularly encourage" people at high risk of exposure but are very clear that anyone can access them. And they are actively encouraging take up on social media.

We are going weekly because the DC go back and forth to their dad's house and I don't know what his movements are, or who he is seeing. Are we also selfish cunts, UncleBill?

Again. That's fine. But that's not what the OP is doing. She's lying about having symptoms. Asymptomatic testing is all well and good and I fully support it but that's not the question here.
justaweeone · 14/01/2021 14:54

🧐REALLY!!!

DressingGownofDoom · 14/01/2021 14:55

'I know tests are only supposed to be for people with symptoms but I think our circumstances are quite unique.'

Really? You think you're the only person who wants to spend time with a vulnerable loved one?

Brighterthansunflowers · 14/01/2021 14:56

YABVVVVU

your circumstances are very far from unique. You are not entitled to tests unless you have symptoms. You’re being incredibly selfish and it’s not even protecting anyone because you can test negative then develop symptoms and test positive.

If you want weekly tests then bloody well pay privately for the privilege instead of defrauding the nhs

firecracker69 · 14/01/2021 14:56

Wtf is this bullshit I'm reading? Surely this cannot be real? Surely nobody would be so incredibly selfish? I live alone and have barely seen my family since the first lockdown. Get a grip

Crazycatstory · 14/01/2021 14:58

Our local council have just set up a testing centre for people who are asymptotic. I think the aim is primarily to test those who have to go into work (who can’t work from home) and their families. Might be worth checking if your local council or health trust is running the same.

Divebar · 14/01/2021 14:58

Well if anyone can get tested whether they have symptoms or not just tell the truth when you contact them to book your test. Problem solved

DressingGownofDoom · 14/01/2021 14:59

By the way- even if you get a negative test you can still be incubating the virus and could easily pass it on to him, surely you know this?

Roussette · 14/01/2021 15:00

Might be worth checking if your local council or health trust is running the same

But the OP doesn't have to go into work. She WFH. So that would be another lie as to why she needs a test.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 14/01/2021 15:01

Yes, YABVU.

Lots of us are having to make sacrifices. You're not special. Suck it up. I'm a single parent and I haven't seen another adult socially for weeks as I work in a high risk environment and don't want to put anyone at risk.