AIBU to think it’s ok to put kids (4 and 1) into kids club on a ski holiday

[Needallthesleep]

Obviously not this year! Planning for the future.

DH and I love to ski, and given what a shocker this year has been for holidays (plus we have a newborn so not like we can go away anyway) we are planning an epic one next year.

It would be the first time going skiing with our kids, and are planning on putting the 4 year old into ski school and the 1 year old into kids club so we can ski.

For context we are looking at doing 14 nights in a very kid friendly hotel in France with childcare on site. We are planning a 2 week break so that we (and the children) can have some relaxed days together at the pool/sledging and me and DH still get a decent amount of time skiing.

MIL thinks that’s mean. And I am wracked with mum guilt about our plans now. Are my plans unreasonable?

But how do you know that your kids will be fine and have a relaxing time, esp the one year old? Babies, in unfamiliar environments often seem fine just because they might not cry, but this can be down to a survival mechanism of keeping quiet/lying low. What will you do if they are visibly stressed, but you've paid for your ski pass and their clubs? Will you go ahead with your skiing and feel stressed? Personally I wouldn't be able to relax leaving my children with strangers. If you are confident that your children and you will have a great time, then that's for you to decide, but it's a lot to spend on a family holiday that could turn out to be stressful for either your baby, your young child and yourselves.

We have been skiing with dd since she was 14 months. She went into crèche the first 2 years and then skied when she was 3 and 4 for half the day and child care the afternoon. This year was meant to be her first full week skiing, I know it is a first world problem but so gutted we can’t go.

The kids club isn't some kind of prison you know, and (shock, horror) some well-adjusted, sociable kids, who haven't been smothered by mummy until they start school kids actually enjoy it.

At one? You can be pretty attached at one for it not to be an issue don’t you think

It's a kids club? You're one year old is just a baby. I'd be fine with the 4 yr old but wouldn't put the baby in. I can't imagine they could cater properly for the 1 yr old?

Your call.

For a one year old no chance id do that and even with a toddler I would need to know the staff, we used the kids club on the Disney Cruise ship when my eldest was 4 but only for an hour at a time, she loved it but holidays for us are about family time

Not for me. I want to spend time with my kids on holiday.

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

I would not want to take annual leave and then not spend it with my children.

This is how I feel. If you work 46-48 weeks a year then put kids in childcare the weeks you have off, when do you actually spend time with the children yourself?

Ever heard of weekends?

Childcare on holiday exists for a reason but my kids always flatly refused to go to it, and despite trying to persuade them to give it a go they always remained firmly against it, preferring to stay with us. I can see why you would be desperate for a break but not all kids are comfortable with it, especially overseas childcare.

I did this when my DS was 8 months. I was back at work, he was at nursery and was a pretty obliging child. What I hadn't thought through was how much I would hate it (he was fine). It was the first holiday I'd been on since going back to work, and I had been desperate to get back to work, found it boring and exhausting being at home with him so thought I would love being on holiday with childcare but just felt so sad all the time and ended up not skiing really. I was very surprised at myself - but you might want to think about whether you will feel like this. Lots of people don't, but I think you're more likely to if you're working full-time and haven't actually tried this holiday arrangement before.

Best holiday we've ever done with children.
Do it!

The kids clubs we've used have been staffed by qualified adults doing it as a full time year-round job. They bear no resemblance to some of those being described here. They take the children outside for activities every day, have themed activities, do art, exercise, music, stage shows. They have great facilities with soft play, board games, art materials, a quiet room for naps etc.

@LongDivision

I wouldn't worry too much about the occasional session in crèche; however, I'd be a bit wary about skiing with DH just in case something happened to both of you.

This is hilarious.

If they were backcountry skiing, doing remote off-piste, that approach might be understandable due to risk of avalanches etc. But two adults piste skiing? Really?

Of course it's fine - it's a great holiday and you can have some lovely family time as well as using the childcare

I would be wary of booking it too far in advance as it will depend entirely on the newborn's personality. DC2 could never be left in this situation. He is 2.5 and still gets upset initially going in to his nursery (which he does enjoy once he's in) and he's been going 2 days a week since 1 yo. No way could I have taken him somewhere new and left him with strange faces, he'd have been far too upset. Some days he would even cry initially when I left at GPS house and he'd been going there for regular overnights since weeks old.

@AldiAisleofCrap

So your children spend their days in childcare and now you want to go on holiday and put your children in childcare. Do you not like your children very much?

Ignore this sanctimonious faux-naiveté. I loathe skiing, but if I liked it, or some kind of equivalent, I would do this without thinking twice, assuming I was satisfied with the ski school and creche provision of offer. Have a ball whenever you are able to do it.

Kids love a kids club!! Everyone's a winner in my opinion. It's not like the kids won't be having fun!!

We did this when our DC were little OP. First ski holiday was when DS1 was 4 and DS2 was 10 months. We went with Ski Famille, which is expensive, but was worth it IMO. We had a creche in our chalet and DS1 did morning ski lessons and then joined the nannies for fun snow play, stories, etc in the afternoon.

It was the first time since having DC that DH and I got to go off on our own and just be adults for a week, eating lunch together in a mountain restaurant, skiing where we wanted. It was great! Ski Hillwood in Austria were brilliant for this too - we did two holidays with them and the childcare was excellent.

assuming you're also spending time with both kids (which you say in your post) its fine?

snow is magic. Snow and mountains and getting to do snowy stuff like snowmen and sledging with your parents? Fantastic even as a tiny'un.

Go for it.

yes.

we put our 10 month old into the creche for 5 days when we used crystal ski. another one or two of similar age. didnt seem distressed etc

our 4 year old had ski lessons for two hours in the morning and then joined the babby.

@MarshaBradyo

The kids club isn't some kind of prison you know, and (shock, horror) some well-adjusted, sociable kids, who haven't been smothered by mummy until they start school kids actually enjoy it.

At one? You can be pretty attached at one for it not to be an issue don’t you think

Exactly. One yo children are supposed to be attached. If yours aren't, that's an issue.

And we spend time, effort and energy finding good nurseries that have settling in periods. We don't just drop them and leave.

we did this with our kids. DD kept asking when she could go back to penguin club as she loved it so much!!

My DC flat refused to stay at any kids clubs without us on our summer holidays. We only suggested them as they were doing activities they'd normally love, not because we had plans. However, the first time they went skiing (6 months after the last club refusal), they were happy to go into ski school daily 10-3 (meeting us for lunch 12-1). They were older, 6&8, though.

I agree that two weeks is a long time for their first time. Is there an option to take someone with you? What about hiring a nanny over here that could get to know your child prior to going? They could then have ski time of their own when you're having family time. It would be an expensive option (as you'd need to provide lift pass/hire/flights/accommodation for the nanny in addition to your own). But you may be able to negotiate a rate of pay with the nanny that reflects that. I write this as an ex nanny who went away with a family (not skiing). I was happy to take a lower flat rate for the week in exchange for an all expenses paid holiday.

Not skiing but we put ds 6 in kids club on our last holiday in Greece.It was 10 til 12.30 or 3 til 5.30.He loved it and asked to go to both sessions one day .We went on the adult water slides in the morning and had a "siesta" in the pm 😏

@AldiAisleofCrap yep really can’t stand my kids. Nothing at all to do with the mortgage and bills that need to be paid.

And I’m not suggesting sticking them in 24/7 childcare for 14 days. I’m saying that 14 days gives us time to spend time together as a family, and for me and DH to spend a decent amount of time skiing.

oh yeah, the staff were child care qualified and worked all year round. it wasn't cheap childcare either.