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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think it’s ok to put kids (4 and 1) into kids club on a ski holiday

508 replies

Needallthesleep · 14/01/2021 13:21

Obviously not this year! Planning for the future.

DH and I love to ski, and given what a shocker this year has been for holidays (plus we have a newborn so not like we can go away anyway) we are planning an epic one next year.

It would be the first time going skiing with our kids, and are planning on putting the 4 year old into ski school and the 1 year old into kids club so we can ski.

For context we are looking at doing 14 nights in a very kid friendly hotel in France with childcare on site. We are planning a 2 week break so that we (and the children) can have some relaxed days together at the pool/sledging and me and DH still get a decent amount of time skiing.

MIL thinks that’s mean. And I am wracked with mum guilt about our plans now. Are my plans unreasonable?

OP posts:
Icanseegreenshoots · 14/01/2021 15:04

Have you considered taking dc to Lapland instead? Perfect age for it, and you can combine with skiing, so not all day skiing but a few hours is definitely doable.

ReviewingTheSituation · 14/01/2021 15:05

We skied with a 4YO (who was a sociable child and used to FT nursery) and after 45 mins of ski school on the first day was inconsolable and had to be collected (they'd had 2 sessions at the snowdome just before so skis/snow etc weren't totally alien). The ski school kindly offered private lessons instead (school had been pre-paid), but only for an hour a day. So one parent (we were in a group of 5 adults) always had to be back by 11 to collect. And then we had afternoons of skiing in an odd sort of rota. Some of the adults were happy not to ski much, and the snow was v limited anyway so as it happened we couldn't go far. But if we could have skied the whole resort there would have been a lot of fractious debate.

2 years later, we skied as a group again, and the then 6YO LOVED ski school. Happily went for the whole day (normal in Austria). Parents had only booked 4 days, but child pleaded to go on the other 2. Everyone was happy and got to do what they wanted. We all went up on the first lift, and all finished at the end of ski school time.

I'd say wait a few years. 2 weeks is a long time in the mountains, and that's a lot of holiday not to spend as a family. The suggestion of a shorter break for just the adults to get a good 'fix' is an excellent one, and try ski school when they're a bit older - if it's important to you to have some adult-only ski time.

Enidblyton1 · 14/01/2021 15:05

We left our nearly 2 year old in a French crèche from 9-1pm a few years ago with our friends child while we skied with our older children. She hated it and cried a lot. She refused to eat the amazing 3 course lunch that the French children were eating. Not a great holiday for her, and so we only did it once.

The following year we went with the same family and took it in turns to look after the little ones while the others skied.

Ski school is fine from age 4ish, but honestly I’d wait until children are at least 6-7 to get the most out of it. Ski resorts are full of crying toddlers/young children. Some sporty children love skiing from 4 years old. Others need a few more years to appreciate the cold hands, uncomfortable boots and carrying skis!

TheOrigRights · 14/01/2021 15:06

You've said both children are either in or will be in full time childcare, so I assume you both work?

I would not want to take annual leave and then not spend it with my children.

Blondeshavemorefun · 14/01/2021 15:07

a family holiday, should be that, spend with kids, maybe put into creche for a morning, if happy and you chill/sunbathe

but what i found works better, is that skiing parents go away for a long weekend alone and leave kids at home with a nanny if have one, paid lol or with grandparents

many a time as a nanny i would work extra days, move in to the house, and do fun stuff with kids

parents go alone skiiing

then have a proper family holiday with kids

Enidblyton1 · 14/01/2021 15:08

I second the idea of Lapland. I haven’t been, but know a few families who absolutely loved it. Very different of course to a ski holiday, but you get the snow and can do a bit of skiing if you want.

Theonlyoneiknow · 14/01/2021 15:09

If you can afford to do it then yes! You and your DH should be able to get out too and do the things that you love doing together. Will the youngest have been going to a nursery beforehand so be used to being looked after by other people?

DH and I are very keen skiers but waited until kids were older, only because it would have been more hassle than worth due to circumstances. At that time DH went on his own with his brother for a week and I went on my own with my friends, Gave us both time to totally relax :)

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 14/01/2021 15:09

parents and child can have lovely time even if they are not glued together

Of course but 1 year olds generally do not cope well with being left with people they dont know well.

It's not about not leaving them. Its about who you leave them with. Both my children would have been utterly distraught by being left with strangers from age 6m-3yrs old.

PinkTonic · 14/01/2021 15:11

We did, and ski school from 3. I loved those holidays and look back on them fondly. So civilised Grin

Lockdownbear · 14/01/2021 15:11

A weeks probably long enough but look up Snowbizz, small business, been in the game for years, kids will be well looked after.
PSV isn't the biggest resort, not overly swish, but they'll make sure you and kids have a blast.

I found a recommendation on here for them years ago. We've been about 5 times with them cancelled this year because of covid but fully intent to book 2021.

DimidDavilby · 14/01/2021 15:12

If your children are in nursery all the time do you not want to spend time with them on your holiday?

OnlyTeaForMe · 14/01/2021 15:13

Do it. Choose a company with a good childcare reputation though.

My DSs (now young adults) went every year with us from about 1.5 and 3 years old. Loved it. Loved playing in the snow. Loved learning to ski (yes, there were a few tears, but they quickly disappeared).

They now say skiing is one of their favourite sports and they're so glad we took them.
DH and I had no childcare help at home (parents too elderly) and I honestly think it was the only week a year I felt I had a break - all food cooked for me, and a chance to get exercise, sit in a jacuzzi and drink wine!

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 14/01/2021 15:14

I would not want to take annual leave and then not spend it with my children.

This is how I feel. If you work 46-48 weeks a year then put kids in childcare the weeks you have off, when do you actually spend time with the children yourself?

OnlyTeaForMe · 14/01/2021 15:14

@DimidDavilby

If your children are in nursery all the time do you not want to spend time with them on your holiday?
You DO spend time with them, just not 24 hrs a day time!
notangelinajolie · 14/01/2021 15:17

So many different answers to this. I wouldn't do it but that doesn't mean it's right or wrong for you do it.. Holidays for us were very rare so any we did go on would be for the whole family to spend quality family time together.

As far as putting your kids in clubs etc - it really depends on your children. If you send them to childminders/nursery etc they will be used to someone other than you looking after them. However, if you are the primary carer and they haven't left your side since the day they were born - they may struggle.

AldiAisleofCrap · 14/01/2021 15:18

So your children spend their days in childcare and now you want to go on holiday and put your children in childcare. Do you not like your children very much?

notalwaysalondoner · 14/01/2021 15:20

Literally the only alternative is to not go skiing until your youngest is ski school age. I think if she thinks the alternative is you and DH alternating childcare while the other one skis she clearly doesn't understand the joy of skiing - it's not something fun to do alone for more than a few hours for most people, definitely not for 14 days. This is the normal approach to skiing when people have small children. I guess the only other alternative would be if you have friends with similar age children who would be willing to alternate childcare so you each only have to miss one day in four for example. But that would be a pain to organise (and doesn't get your 4 year old skiing).

Inthemuckheap · 14/01/2021 15:21

Absolutely fine! That's what kids clubs are for - much more fun for the kids to be able to play with others and also spend time with you doing different things whilst you get a break too.

notalwaysalondoner · 14/01/2021 15:22

I can tell a lot of people answering don't ski - it's not an option to spend all day with preschool children AND ski. "Don't you want to spend your holiday with your children" - millions of people go on ski holidays with small children every year and this is how it works.

I guess some judgy types think you just shouldn't ski until the youngest is 4, but if you love it, I think you should do it.

gottakeeponmovin · 14/01/2021 15:23

It's perfectly fine have a lovely time

Icanseegreenshoots · 14/01/2021 15:24

I would feel very sorry for kids stuck in a creche or ski school for a full 14 days in any setting, a week is a long time even. It is certainly no holiday for them, most kids just want to spend time with their parents and have fun. Two year olds tend to be very clingy at that age too.

I wouldn't even consider this to be honest op.

diamondpony80 · 14/01/2021 15:25

I wouldn't do it personally. Never left my kids in kids club at any age but I especially wouldn't do it with a 1 year old. I'd never judge anyone who does though because if you want a holiday yourself, it's the only way. Our "family" holidays have ended up being mostly for the kids because we kept them with us all the time. I've left the kids home with my mum and dad on occasion while we went on weekends away though.

Glitteryone · 14/01/2021 15:26

Ski school for older kids 100%

But not a 1 year old

OnlyTeaForMe · 14/01/2021 15:27

@AldiAisleofCrap

So your children spend their days in childcare and now you want to go on holiday and put your children in childcare. Do you not like your children very much?
Oh do bore off!

Have you ever been on a ski holiday with childcare?
No, thought not!

The kids club isn't some kind of prison you know, and (shock, horror) some well-adjusted, sociable kids, who haven't been smothered by mummy until they start school kids actually enjoy it.

It's perfectly possible for them to spend a few hours or half a day there while mum & dad get their fix of black runs, before all joining up again for hot chocolates and sledging/ ice-skating or whatever as a family in the afternoon.
By the time my kids were about 8 and 10 they used to send us away if we tried to pick them up at lunchtime as they wanted to go with their friends for ski races or massive snowman building or whatever.

I found skiing to be the perfect family holiday - something for everyone - and everyone came home happy, well-fed and refreshed!

grassisjeweled · 14/01/2021 15:27

I worked in a kids club for a half a season. Everyone was shit faced every night, on drugs and had no childcare experience at all.

You would not convince me at any point to leave my kids in a kids holiday club.

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