AIBU to think it’s ok to put kids (4 and 1) into kids club on a ski holiday

[Needallthesleep]

Obviously not this year! Planning for the future.

DH and I love to ski, and given what a shocker this year has been for holidays (plus we have a newborn so not like we can go away anyway) we are planning an epic one next year.

It would be the first time going skiing with our kids, and are planning on putting the 4 year old into ski school and the 1 year old into kids club so we can ski.

For context we are looking at doing 14 nights in a very kid friendly hotel in France with childcare on site. We are planning a 2 week break so that we (and the children) can have some relaxed days together at the pool/sledging and me and DH still get a decent amount of time skiing.

MIL thinks that’s mean. And I am wracked with mum guilt about our plans now. Are my plans unreasonable?

does your DH feel guilty?

How many hours would the baby be in the crèche? . I would have thought the morning was ok ( 4 hours) but longer than that I would feel was a bit sad. I think for the first year I would book 1 week ski-ing ( test run ) and another week somewhere else as a family. That way if the children don’t settle you haven’t wasted 2 weeks.

www.skipeak.net/local-information/child-care

This is what we used.

Skiing isn’t my thing, but when mine were younger I used the kids clubs in holiday resorts. We didn’t have a lot of family help always, so it was great for holidays to be a bit of a break with couple time too. Doesn’t mean you don’t also have family time. You know your dc better than anyone, and if you’re happy with the plan go for it.

We did it (or tried to) with my daughter this time last year, she’d just turned one and hadn’t been in nursery at that point, other than a couple of hour and a half trial sessions. We hadn’t even got to the top of the mountain before they called us to come and collect her and she was very reluctant to go back the following day, after that she got sick and wasn’t able to go for the rest of the holiday. It really wasn’t the holiday we had planned and we weren’t able to all ski together which was really frustrating (we’d gone with my mum). Obviously her getting sick can’t be helped and could happen on any holiday, but in terms of sending her to the crèche, I would do it now she’s almost two but in hindsight sending her without her having been to nursery wasn’t a great idea. I thought she’d love it as she’s a sociable little thing, loved bigger kids and had been to every baby class going so was used to being around loads of different people, she’d been away from me and DH but only with grandparents and really didn’t like being left with strangers.

Your little one might be fine, or they might not and the big problem is, you won’t know until you’re there! If they are in nursery properly by the time you go I’d be less worried but if I had the choice again I’m not sure I’d have sent mine before she was in nursery. On the other hand we got to ski last year and we definitely won’t be this year so on that front I’m glad we went even though it wasn’t what we’d planned. Gutted we aren’t going this winter, I was so excited to teach mine to ski.

Your older one will have a blast in ski school, and they finish quite early so you could still ski with them as well.

www.mytravellingnanny.co.uk/ski-nanny

There's even a company that specialises in exactly that service.

It really depends on the children. Mine have always hated kids clubs and ski school. And I wouldn't leave a baby with the ratios and untrained staff they have at the average ski place nursery.

So it wouldn't work for me.

Oh and I had no concerns about the quality of care they were giving, the staff were amazing and did some fab activities with them and the hotel had gorgeous facilities, it just didn’t work out for us! (This was in Austria) the layout of the kids area meant that parents could pass by and see what was going on without being in the room or disturbing anything, and we did observe from a distance for quite a while on the second day before we took her out.

@Dailyhandtowelwash

The kids clubs we've used have been staffed by qualified adults doing it as a full time year-round job. They bear no resemblance to some of those being described here. They take the children outside for activities every day, have themed activities, do art, exercise, music, stage shows. They have great facilities with soft play, board games, art materials, a quiet room for naps etc.

In a ski resort?

DD is 3 and loved the kids clubs on our last couple of holidays. We still have good quality family time in the mornings, long lunches and evenings, but means during the day we get to do activities / chill out and she is having a great time with kids her own age.

I'd be asking a lot of questions about the provisions and staff qualifications before dropping a 1 year old off though.

@Clymene yes I've experienced this too, excellent facilities. However with recent EU laws they cost a lot more than they used too. Also inevitably one kid vomits and then can't go for 2 days!

Initial thought. Why are you asking your MIL for her opinion or listening to her?

Better than the family I nannied for. Away for ten days they spent about an hour a day with the child and took her in the snow once. Rest of the time she was with me.

Maybe for a few days for the older one but not 2 weeks and not at all for the baby, what a crap holiday that would be for the little one left with strangers.
You basically want a grown up holiday but you have kids so...
if they were older and actually like ski school the. Maybe.

Definitely no MIL then!!!

Could you take someone else? Your parent?

Honestly, I just think that 1 is really too young for that plan to be executed without you knowing deep down that your baby is spending a stressful, disorienting day while you ski. I'm not sure that wouldn't spoil it tbh. And I would just not be happy with leaving a baby that young in untested holiday childcare. It won't be the same as nursery. I would be massively uncomfortable with it, and if you get there, and the baby is inconsolable, what then?

All parents need downtime, and no life shouldn't completely revolve around the kids, but when you have a 1 year old then yes, actually, it pretty much has to for stuff like this. But it's such a short space of time.

We did this when DS was about 2, (mornings only) and it worked well. He loved the proper, if old-style, pain au chocolat in the mid morning break -- a three inch pice of crusty baguette, sliced and buttered and with a couple of thin sticks of plain chocolate in it. Lunches were great too. He acquired a taste for rare steak haché.
The only problem was he couldn't say much to the other children as they were all French. DS was, and is, a chatty soul from about a year old. It was a mostly French ski resort and hotel, but the crèche staff all spoke English.

Only you know your kids, OP, but I'd ignore the sanctimony and give it a try.
(I was working full-time, btw)

@Dailyhandtowelwash

The kids clubs we've used have been staffed by qualified adults doing it as a full time year-round job. They bear no resemblance to some of those being described here. They take the children outside for activities every day, have themed activities, do art, exercise, music, stage shows. They have great facilities with soft play, board games, art materials, a quiet room for naps etc.

Yes, Esprit have all this in their chalet hotels. Plus the ski school. (I don’t work for Esprit, honestly!). That is in response to @Clymene’s sceptical face emoji. And it’s all British kids and staff. It’s just like a normal preschool, but with skiing. As far as I know Brexit has not changed that as they are still booking for future years.

At their ages the most ambitious thing I'd be planning is throwing them in the softplay at Butlins and hoping to avoid them getting d+v. I've personally found it much more relaxing to be around other families with young kids, doing loud, child focused stuff. Than it is to try proper holidays when they're so little. Cheap(er) and cheerful, so if you all end up sick, or they hate it, you don't feel like you've wasted loads.

I think what i mean is, the key to goos holidays with young kids is lowing your expectations right down

Definitely. The likes of Ski Famille and Mark Warner all have British qualified nannies who look after kids from newborn. They have a really high ratio of adults to children and they all have a great time. The nannies will take children to and from ski school, feed them at lunchtime etc. Have been using nannies on ski holidays for years. It really works.

We did it with ours at 18months+ and they loved it.

But be prepared for the possibility that she won’t - this happened to a friend of mine; her son point blank refused to go back to ski school after his first session, and she felt pretty bitter that her husband then got to go off skiing every morning leaving her stuck in the chalet doing child care on her own.

Why would that be the solution rather than them taking turns?!

I think it's such a gamble to know how the little one will take to it, and that's what would put me off. When DS was 11 months we went to a wedding and left him in the creche there all day and he was happy as anything; literally a month later he would have been distraught because he suddenly developed quite bad separation anxiety around his birthday (a bit later than usual, I know). He'd been in childcare since 9 months. I don't think there's anything at all morally suspect with your plan, unlike a lot of this board, but I think there is a lot of potential for wasted money and a disappointing holiday.

Personally I don’t see the point of these holidays with very young children. I would ask your MIL to look after the kids and go on a week long break together. You’ll get the same amount of skiing but without the stress for you or the kids.

Do it OP, they will be much better than you at teaching your 3yo in the snow. My daughter loved it in the childcare and came out with a badge at the end.

My son didn't love it but that is his personality, he never has like to spend time in collective childcare situations, and never will. So it depends on the kid. MOST kids absolutely love it though, give it a go.

She might need a few trips to a snow dome to get her used to it.

I’m not sure that’s such a great idea. The U.K. indoor ski experience is so different from how it would be on a bright day in the mountains with a group of kids and an instructor trained to make it fun. It could backfire and put her off. What we did was showed our 3 year old lots of videos on you tube and pics of us skiing.

Ever heard of weekends?

Yep. Here on mumsnet non resident parents who only spend time with their kids on them get judged to high heaven!

Dailyhandtowelwash

The kids clubs we've used have been staffed by qualified adults doing it as a full time year-round job. They bear no resemblance to some of those being described here. They take the children outside for activities every day, have themed activities, do art, exercise, music, stage shows. They have great facilities with soft play, board games, art materials, a quiet room for naps etc.

Yes, Esprit have all this in their chalet hotels. Plus the ski school. (I don’t work for Esprit, honestly!). That is in response to @Clymene’s sceptical face emoji. And it’s all British kids and staff. It’s just like a normal preschool, but with skiing. As far as I know Brexit has not changed that as they are still booking for future years.

Sorry, can't quote for some reason. But this is in Austrian hotels, which are open all year, but are in high season at ski time obviously. The ones we've stayed in have kids clubs open from morning till evening every day so kids can come and go according to what suits them and their families, and they are included in the upfront price.

My lot have loved them since they were little (and we spent time with them in there when they were very small rather than just booking them in for a set period of time - you can hang out with them) and now talk constantly about going on holiday to enjoy the kids clubs. Our favourite hotel has a Youtube promo video and they have been known to watch that repeatedly to see their favourite bits of the club facilities. We have known some of the staff now for years.