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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think it’s ok to put kids (4 and 1) into kids club on a ski holiday

508 replies

Needallthesleep · 14/01/2021 13:21

Obviously not this year! Planning for the future.

DH and I love to ski, and given what a shocker this year has been for holidays (plus we have a newborn so not like we can go away anyway) we are planning an epic one next year.

It would be the first time going skiing with our kids, and are planning on putting the 4 year old into ski school and the 1 year old into kids club so we can ski.

For context we are looking at doing 14 nights in a very kid friendly hotel in France with childcare on site. We are planning a 2 week break so that we (and the children) can have some relaxed days together at the pool/sledging and me and DH still get a decent amount of time skiing.

MIL thinks that’s mean. And I am wracked with mum guilt about our plans now. Are my plans unreasonable?

OP posts:
troppibambini6 · 14/01/2021 14:14

What if they hate ski school/the crèche?
Then you would either have to leave them upset or not ski. I would be pretty fed up if I'd paid all that money and couldn't ski....
I used kids clubs for my eldest when she was an only child (up til 5) because she liked them and it gave her someone to play with but just for a couple of hours after lunch. I wouldn't have wanted to leave her all day.
The dc2,3 and 4 never wanted to go in and I didn't force them.

MarshaBradyo · 14/01/2021 14:15

1yo will love holiday club - loads of other toddlers to play with.

One is tiny so not all dc. I’d say not many

McQueensMuse · 14/01/2021 14:15

Unless your MIL is offering to have them for the duration she should keep her beak out.

JohnMiddleNameRedactedSwanson · 14/01/2021 14:15

4yo will love ski school so yes.

For me, it would depend whether the 1yo was already used to being left in childcare and I would have to be very confident in the provision offered.

MsTSwift · 14/01/2021 14:15

Yeah my kids hated nursery settings and kids clubs so this would not have worked at all for our family.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 14/01/2021 14:16

@AwaAnBileYerHeid

YANBU. What on earth is wrong with wanting some fun adult time and a break from the kids? You don't stop being a person when you have kids and become a robot mum whose sole job is to look after the kids 24/7 and have no me time. Put them into the childcare facilities. And have fun!
For two weeks?
YoniAndGuy · 14/01/2021 14:16

No I wouldn't leave a non-verbal pretty-much-baby in a children's club abroad with strangers for hours at a time so that I could ski.

Yes to ski school. Yes to a long holiday. Yes it's been a shit year and you need it! Yes to all that and I love skiing too and of course it's difficult with a baby.

But - a year old? No.

I would be pencilling it in for next year at least OR go for a shorter time, and take MIL with the money you save. Would that work?

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 14/01/2021 14:16

What on earth is wrong with wanting some fun adult time and a break from the kids?

Theres nothing wrong with wanting this. But most people put their childrens needs first and compromise finding ways to get a break without it being shit for the kids - eg leave kids with a relative they are close to, or mum and dad do a trip each with friends leaving kids with other parent etc, taking a family member on holiday for childcare etc.

Margotshypotheticaldog · 14/01/2021 14:17

I skipped straight to the end of the posts. I would do it in a heart beat. That sounds like a dream holiday. Can I come too??

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 14/01/2021 14:18

robot mum whose sole job is to look after the kids 24/7
OP hasn't said she's a SAHM though, and most mums in the UK arent. I'm assuming her children are already in childcare for 80-90% of the weeks of the year.

FenEel · 14/01/2021 14:18

I definitely would not. What if the four year old hates skiing? Wouldn’t be much of a holiday for them.

Margotshypotheticaldog · 14/01/2021 14:19

Actually 1 is a bit small, and mine would not have stayed anywhere happily at that age, so maybe hold out a year or two. Now I really want to go skiing....

Astormofswords · 14/01/2021 14:21

I would 100% use the facilities but for me personally only when the children are slightly older. I wouldnt put a baby in a club where they can’t verbalise if something is wrong. A child above 3 will probably have an amazing time for a few days out of the holiday.

Guess it also depends on the split. 2/3 days in the club out of 10 would be my limit. Using them 7 out of 10 days is too much. But that’s just what I would do. Do what ever you want, to be down with the kids you only live once!

MagnoliaBeige · 14/01/2021 14:22

I wouldn’t do it but lots of people do so do what works for you Smile

My reasoning is that people spend ages choosing childcare, reading OFSTED reports, having settling sessions etc before choosing a nursery or childminder. But go on holiday and we’re happy to leave children with complete strangers. I’m sure some settings are amazing, with well trained staff and all the necessary precautions etc but I bet 99% of people don’t do any additional questioning before deciding to use them.

AwaAnBileYerHeid · 14/01/2021 14:24

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland What? I didn't make any reference to SAHM's. Maybe she works and maybe she doesn't. That has no relevance. I'm saying that she should put the kids in the childcare facility on holiday and have fun if she wants, she shouldn't feel obligated to stay with them 24/7.

notacooldad · 14/01/2021 14:24

I did when my kids were little.
I'm not going to lie, I was nervous on the first day and they were shy and I couldn't enjoy the first ski day. However when I went back I could see them before they could see me. They were running and playing with their new friends. All if them were laughing and happy.

During the holidays we would take the kids on sleigh rides, make snow men toboggan etc
Everyone has a great time.
If I had kids all over again I would do the same again.
Its a perfect solution of adult time and family time.( same with summer holiday).
Most children like socialising and playing with their peers so it's a change for them as well.

SpaceRaiders · 14/01/2021 14:24

I personally wouldn’t leave a 1yr old with someone they hadn’t formed a relationship with. But 3yr old I would be ok with. It depends on the child and the setting.

Enjoy it while it lasts, mine (5 & 8) started turning their nose up at kids club in the last year. Well I mean pre Corona obviously!

AwaAnBileYerHeid · 14/01/2021 14:25

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz yes, for 2 weeks.

CheetasOnFajitas · 14/01/2021 14:25

@HotPenguin

Personally I wouldn't want my toddler looked after by a bunch of young people who are there for the skiing and have no interest in childcare. Perhaps there are some places who have more highly qualified and experienced staff but I would be wary.
@HotPenguin that is very insulting to the legions of fantastic qualified childcare professionals who spend every winter working for the likes of Ski Esprit. The standards are phenomenally high and the staff are all fully qualified and the facilities are often better quality than you’d find in a U.K. nursery. They are not just babysitting.
NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 14/01/2021 14:25

It does make a difference.. if they are in childcare 46 weeks a year like mine, she isnt spending 24/7 looking after them!

ArialAnna · 14/01/2021 14:25

We did this for the first time last year and it was great! I was quite nervous about leaving our 15 month old in childcare (wasn't so worried about his 3 year old brother) but it was fine. We went with Ski Familie and there were 3 nannies to look after the 6 kids in our chalet, so they were very well supervised. They did lots of fun things with the kids - sledging, hot chocolate on top of the mountain, soft play centre - and sent pictures and videos of them having fun. My husband and I got to ski and have a nice restful lunch out every day - bliss! It all went so well we booked the same holiday for this year - so gutted it had to be cancelled.

Ignore those making judgey comments. Yes, it is more a holiday for you than for the kids, but's what's wrong with that? Pretty much all our other holidays are centred around the kids. And I think people who don't ski or aren't that into it, just can't understand the itch and dreaming to go.

Itsokthanks · 14/01/2021 14:25

I wouldn't leave a one year old with anyone except close family or friends. Not fair on them really.

Original poster
Needallthesleep · 14/01/2021 14:26

Thanks, lots of food for thought here.

A couple of points...

Our eldest child has been in nursery full time since she was 9 months and loves it. However she can be a sensitive soul so will have to have a real think about whether she would enjoy it or not. She might need a few trips to a snow dome to get her used to it.

The younger one will have been in nursery full time for about six months at the point when we go, so hopefully used to childcare.

Our MIL actually does want to join us and provide childcare. But skiing is an expensive break and I don’t have a good relationship with her, so not prepared to spend a lot of money on something that she comes along to. We don’t see her often so our children won’t feel more comfortable with her than with childcare. She did join us once on holiday for childcare and it was awful, she was extremely intrusive and it was very stressful.

And yes we would do a more kid friendly break later in the year, probably centre Parcs type thing.

OP posts:
Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 14/01/2021 14:27

Reminds me of this

Hope that link works 😂
AwaAnBileYerHeid · 14/01/2021 14:28

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

What on earth is wrong with wanting some fun adult time and a break from the kids?

Theres nothing wrong with wanting this. But most people put their childrens needs first and compromise finding ways to get a break without it being shit for the kids - eg leave kids with a relative they are close to, or mum and dad do a trip each with friends leaving kids with other parent etc, taking a family member on holiday for childcare etc.

But they want to go for 2 weeks. Perhaps they have discussed what's best for the kids, leaving them with a relative for 2 weeks or taking them with them but putting them in the childcare club for a few hours every day and decided that that is best for them. What's the issue here? Personally I can't be bothered looking down on other peoples parenting choices if they're good parents and aren't doing any harm to their kids. I don't see anything wrong with it.
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