AIBU to think it’s ok to put kids (4 and 1) into kids club on a ski holiday

[Needallthesleep]

Obviously not this year! Planning for the future.

DH and I love to ski, and given what a shocker this year has been for holidays (plus we have a newborn so not like we can go away anyway) we are planning an epic one next year.

It would be the first time going skiing with our kids, and are planning on putting the 4 year old into ski school and the 1 year old into kids club so we can ski.

For context we are looking at doing 14 nights in a very kid friendly hotel in France with childcare on site. We are planning a 2 week break so that we (and the children) can have some relaxed days together at the pool/sledging and me and DH still get a decent amount of time skiing.

MIL thinks that’s mean. And I am wracked with mum guilt about our plans now. Are my plans unreasonable?

Go for it! Life is for living. You can put a 1 year old in child care for the morning and have that time skiing and then pick up for lunch - no harm, no fuss.

@OfficerHops

Rather than lying for kids club I would try and take a family members with me who would be happy to do childcare for maybe 7 of the 14 days in exchange for a free holiday.

There’s no way mine would have settled in a kids club at just 1 year old. It would have been very traumatic.

This does seem to be the compromise here. Or taking a holiday nanny as mentioned several times upthread.

However last year was the first time we've ever taken a grandparent on holiday with us as previously we'd been a bit precious about it just being the four of us. It was fantastic! DH and I had the most relaxing holiday we'd ever had. A couple of times MIL sent us off to go and have a peaceful coffee and we all had the opportunity to relax and do our own thing too. We've already invited her to come away with us next time we go in the summer too. She loved spending so much time with the DC (she doesn't live locally).

My MIL was considering joining us for skiing but ultimately decided against it as she's a beginner and the DC will be in ski school, so it's not really a group holiday in the same way as a summer one. But if your MIL is happy not to ski, would you have her come and provide the childcare?
Or do you have a family friend that likes to ski that would love an all expenses paid trip and the opportunity to ski on your family days?

It doesn't have to be kids club or nothing.

If you think your kids would like it then I think it’s ok, especially if it’s not every day and they get some family days too.

We’re keen to take the kids on a snowboarding holiday but we know that for our kids (1 & 5) it would be a disaster. Dd5 is not at all adventurous and would whinge constantly if asked to do ski or snowboard lessons. Ds1 wouldn’t settle with strangers so kids club wouldn’t work for him. It would be so bloody stressful that I’d not relax and enjoy myself.

We’re doing other holidays for now and hoping to go in about 2 years or so.

The problem with taking a family member or nanny with you is that they won't know the resort and they won't necessarily have access to all the things for children to do. The creches and kids clubs are usually extremely well organised with all the play equipment etc you'd expect from a UK day nursery.
Being stuck in a hotel with a toddler and baby in a resort you don't know would be much harder in my opinion (and less fun for the kids).

Not at one year old but my kids wouldn’t have coped well with that. So depends on the kids

Personally think it’s a bit young

@SnailortheWhale you told me you didn’t think it was appropriate that I put my DC into full time childcare.

Got to admit, that one really stings.

We need my salary. I can’t go part time. I don’t have an option not to work.

My DH has never had anyone question why he works full time.

The four year old should go to ski school! The one year old will be fine in a kids club.

Go, and have fun (I also want to do what you're doing)

Sorry nope not a 1yr old. It’s hard enough to pick a nursery that your comfortable with, random childminders of a kids club when my kid isn’t verbal yet, no chance. I’d wait a few yrs.

We've done it but appreciate it's not for everybody.
DS1 had breakfast with us, went to kids club in the morning and ski school in the afternoon.

He'd have "high tea" with the kids in his group and then we'd spend a few hours together going sledging or up and down ski lifts to glaciers, walk to the crepe shop or spend the late afternoon at the pool.

Honestly it was lovely to have some time with DH on holiday. DS1 is desperate to go back skiing and talks about it all the time two years later (last year scuppered by covid).

If we get out to ski next year, we'd do the same. Have two DC's now and DS2 has never been in a childcare setting (he'd be 2.5 by next ski season) unlike DS1 who was in childcare from 11 months so I'm not sure how that would go down. So would play that by ear.

Just do what you want to do. Your dc. Ignore anyone else. You will have plenty of time together as well.
Have a contingency plan eg you and dh take turms to ski.

Go for it, but please don't pretend that this is for the kids benefit or enjoyment. You and your DH are taking a holiday that you want and sticking your kids in glorified childcare the entire time so they won't bother you.

If it was all day every day then no, but if its for a few days (or probably half days) then why not. That's what they are there for.

[quote Needallthesleep]@SnailortheWhale you told me you didn’t think it was appropriate that I put my DC into full time childcare.

Got to admit, that one really stings.

We need my salary. I can’t go part time. I don’t have an option not to work.

My DH has never had anyone question why he works full time.[/quote]
Again, I simply didn’t say that. I mentioned that your kids are young to be in full time childcare. Pretty much verbatim quote. That’s not saying it’s not appropriate or the best decision for your own family circumstances.

I’m sorry you’re working full time if you don’t want to be. I say this gently as I don’t feel it’s appropriate to quiz people on their personal circumstances, but as you’ve opened the conversation by saying you have to work full time because you can’t afford to go part time...the obvious and immediate question is surely if you’re planning a very expensive two week skiing holiday, there is some wiggle room in the budget if you cut back on things like that? I’m really not trying to provoke an argument I’m just genuinely a bit confused by what you actually want as clearly childcare is a very sensitive issue for you. There’s nothing wrong with wiring full time but you clearly don’t want to be so it seems bonkers to be planning a holiday that will cost thousands rather than cutting back and reducing your working hours.

OP please clarify: how long and how often would the DC be in childcare on this holiday? As I think that makes a huge difference to the replies.

A lot of very opinionated posters!

My DC wouldn’t have wanted this at all. There would have been an enormous fuss and we both would have ended up in tears.

So if your DC are cool with it, then great. But otherwise I would just wait until they are a bit older, leave them at home with family and have a nice holiday with your DH. That’s important too.

If you think your DC will settle then go for it. Ime though kids clubs that take under 3s are hard to find

Sounds fantastic. Best of both worlds! The kids will love it.

Out of interest, what resort/ hotel? Sounds exactly what we're looking for.

Not read the whole thread, bit I did this and it was s horrible ‘holiday’ for the 1year old and I really regret that. Should have left him with doting grandparents.

I use to run crèches in ski resorts.

If they are still allowed to do what we did we would have all kids dropped off in morning and take those going to ski school up there.

Then take little ones out for some time in the snow, walk around resort.

Snack and indoor playtime.

Collect from ski school.

Hot lunch.

Nap time/ tv time/ quiet time as ski school kids were knackered.

Then took them all out sledging or play in snow again for a little while.

Indoor play and tea.

Some kids were with us daily 8-6.
Most did mixture. So either all mornings. Few whole days and some days off or few full days and just some mornings.

I wouldn't have out my ds in FT but that's because I like to do some stuff with him so I'd have done the mixture like you.

Oh I am obviously an appalling mother but we used to give them nutella sandwiches for supper cos they'd had a 3 course lunch (I love french ski school)

@SnailortheWhale there are reasons other than financial for having to work full time.

@Almostslimjim the Panorama in Les Arcs.

I would do it but then my parents frequently went on holiday without me at all as a kid 😂

OP I did it, I worked FT too. DC are now 14 &16 they love skiing, they eat anything and they speak passable French and German I think largely due to European skiing holidays throughout their childhood. Your DC will be fine, working FT is not neglectful your DCs need happy fufilled parents.

@Needallthesleep

Always lovely to post a question about a holiday and get ripped a new one about my full time working *@SnailortheWhale*.

I doubt anyone would say the same to my DH.

I work full time not through choice but through necessity. And just loved to be made to feel like shit because of it.

How disingenuous. If it was solely necessity, you wouldn't be able to afford such expensive holidays, where you intend to palm your children off again!

Why not just ask mil to look after them in the UK and the children continue in nursery given this isn't really a holiday for them is it?