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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think it’s ok to put kids (4 and 1) into kids club on a ski holiday

508 replies

Needallthesleep · 14/01/2021 13:21

Obviously not this year! Planning for the future.

DH and I love to ski, and given what a shocker this year has been for holidays (plus we have a newborn so not like we can go away anyway) we are planning an epic one next year.

It would be the first time going skiing with our kids, and are planning on putting the 4 year old into ski school and the 1 year old into kids club so we can ski.

For context we are looking at doing 14 nights in a very kid friendly hotel in France with childcare on site. We are planning a 2 week break so that we (and the children) can have some relaxed days together at the pool/sledging and me and DH still get a decent amount of time skiing.

MIL thinks that’s mean. And I am wracked with mum guilt about our plans now. Are my plans unreasonable?

OP posts:
MsConstrue · 14/01/2021 18:50

I wouldn't do it either. I have done skiing holidays with kids and used a creche for my toddler at the time, but I had older children that were skiing - both in their clubs and with us in the afternoon, and they loved it. I think your children are too young to enjoy it - the 4 yo would just be miserable and cold and spend their time shuffling up and down the magic carpet, and the baby will be shoved into a tiny room for hours.

I have only ever used the childcare in the mornings, so that the kids could do ski school and then spend the afternoons skiing with us - which was lovely and which the children enjoyed. A skiing holiday with young children is (and should be) very different to one pre-kids. I didn't think very much of the adults who put their children into the clubs all day while they were out skiing. each to their own though I suppose.

minipie · 14/01/2021 18:51

I love skiing and my kids love kids clubs.

However I wouldn’t leave a 1 year old in a kids club for any longer than a couple of hours at a time - which doesn’t allow much ski time.

I also think 14 days is way too long.

If I were you I would go for 7 days and hire a nanny. If you go with someone like Ski Esprit or Scott Dunn they can set you up with a compatible nanny. Nanny can drop the 4 yr old at ski lessons in the morning.

I also agree with a PP that you don’t know yet what your baby will be like. Some babies are ultra clingy at that age and it would be miserable being called back from the slopes because your baby won’t settle (and miserable for the baby too of course).

MinesAPintOfTea · 14/01/2021 18:52

When DS was 2 we alternated skiing days, and each adult skied alone whilst the other took him sledding etc. At 4, able to speak properly and use the toilet alone was when he started doing half days in the snow garden.

SnailortheWhale · 14/01/2021 18:53

I’m far from a ‘mummy martyr’ and I fully believe in keeping your own identity after you have kids. However, I think this is awful. DH and I love skiing and miss it a lot as we have bing been for five years since having kids. We are looking forward to going again when the kids are a little older, and really hope they will enjoy it too. We accept that having kids means some things have to change for a bit. If we weren’t willing to make the necessary changes we wouldn’t have had kids.

What you’re suggesting is unbelievably selfish. It’s one thing leaving older kids in a kids club for a few hours when they can tell you if they want to go and what’s going on there. It’s quite another to leave a one year old in a strange place with strange people and no way to verbalise their distress. The staff of these kids clubs may well have zero childcare experience and just want to do a season. It astounds and appals me how willing some parents are to leave their kids in any childcare provision going, with no thought to who is staffing it and what standard of care their kids will receive. Honestly, going on holiday to regularly leave your one year old alone in foreign childcare is beyond me and I think it’s horrible. There is a reason that nurseries do a slow and gradual settling in period for babies-they need it.

And I’m a working mum with nothing against using nursery but your kids are very small to be there full time. Why you’d want to use holiday time to shunt them into yet more, but different, childcare...again, beyond me.

If you can’t cope with putting your children’s needs first and picking a holiday that you will all enjoy then you really need to reflect a bit on what you were actually expecting from parenthood.

Sorry to be blunt but I am quite honestly firmly in your MiL’s camp. I also think putting a four year old in ski school while you disappear elsewhere is far too young. The only way I would put a four year old in lessons is either with me or with me watching from a distance which it doesn’t sound like is your plan.

SnailortheWhale · 14/01/2021 18:54

@aSofaNearYou

I loved the kids club on skiing holidays, I would go for it.
Were you a one year old baby when you remember loving it?
terrywynne · 14/01/2021 18:56

I wouldn't do 14 days, 7 is probably enough and I would be wary with the younger one if they aren't used to being cared for by others (nursery or family).

But otherwise go for it. Have a look at what childcare is being offered as they do vary. We went for one which basically a nursery in the hotel with keyworker set up etc as in a regular nursery.

Just because you use the creche doesn't mean you have to not see your kids at all! We had breakfast and kids dinner time together. We took DC out for full and half days to do sledging, swimming, exploring the resort town together etc. In fact I think you could choose to only pay for half days if you knew you would never use full days.

And as for the cold, buy appropriate clothes! Plenty of children survive in cold countries Hmm and if the weather is too bad to go out the kids will stay in and do indoor activities.

Iknowwhatudidlastsummer · 14/01/2021 18:58

If you can’t cope with putting your children’s needs first and picking a holiday that you will all enjoy then you really need to reflect a bit on what you were actually expecting from parenthood

from the poster who talks about putting their own kids in a nursery Hmm

I am amazed by the perfect judgmental parents on here. You do realise that many do judge you from putting your own career first and abandoning your children, don't you? How does that feel.

You know nothing of the set up, of the toys, of the activities offered.
A child will have a much better time in a nursery setting than stuck in an hotel room with a couple of toys people manage to bring with them

I hate these martyr parents, who complain life is too hard, holidays are a nightmare when they just resent others who organise themselves better and had a blast.

You would be less judgmental and bitter if you had tried.

mamaoffourdc · 14/01/2021 18:58

It's fine, book it and enjoy x

montessorinanny · 14/01/2021 19:01

Have you thought about a holiday nanny. It is not as expensive as you may think. I used to do this and loved it. Ski holidays were one of my favourites as loved the snow but didn't ski so it was a bonus for the families that I worked for. I had a regular family I went with and their youngest was 18 months when I started with them. This was the only holiday they took someone with them as both parents liked to ski.

terrywynne · 14/01/2021 19:01

And on the 'staff just want to do a season point, check the company! The one we used had the odd unchildcare qualified person in the nursery if it was a week with more toddlers than average but the majority of the nursery staff had UK level 2 and 3 childcare qualifications and the set up was run like a UK nursery. And the childcare staff with the older children usually do alternating summer and winter seasons doing working in holiday clubs so are experienced at running holiday clubs - the senior staff will have years of experience (assuming you choose a reputable company)

MayDayHelp · 14/01/2021 19:07

I’d definitely do it. Everyone needs some time off. I think you’d just have to be aware that if either of them are really unhappy in the childcare that you may have to adjust your plans.

SnailortheWhale · 14/01/2021 19:07

@Iknowwhatudidlastsummer

If you can’t cope with putting your children’s needs first and picking a holiday that you will all enjoy then you really need to reflect a bit on what you were actually expecting from parenthood

from the poster who talks about putting their own kids in a nursery Hmm

I am amazed by the perfect judgmental parents on here. You do realise that many do judge you from putting your own career first and abandoning your children, don't you? How does that feel.

You know nothing of the set up, of the toys, of the activities offered.
A child will have a much better time in a nursery setting than stuck in an hotel room with a couple of toys people manage to bring with them

I hate these martyr parents, who complain life is too hard, holidays are a nightmare when they just resent others who organise themselves better and had a blast.

You would be less judgmental and bitter if you had tried.

Funnily enough I think I’m putting my kids needs first by ensuring we have a roof over their heads and food on the table. And they love nursery. Because they were gently settled in over a period of time, we researched it thoroughly in advance and they’re old enough to tell me if they’re happy or not. So overall, a completely different situation to leaving a one year old in a strange place that the parents know nothing about and have no idea who the staff are. You call me judgemental and then try that! You can try and make me feel bad but I’m very confident in my parenting decisions. I’m not the person who posted on an Internet forum asking for honest opinions-that was the OP. And I gave my opinion, I think it’s a bit shitty. And my holidays aren’t a nightmare actually, they’re lovely. For all of us! So nice try, take your wierdly overinvested nastiness elsewhere.
supersonicginandtonic · 14/01/2021 19:13

My kids have always loved kids club but they also went to nursery from school 9 months and had regular sleep overs at grandparents houses.
I always made a point of getting them used to being left as my mum had to go into hospital suddenly when I was little and me and my siblings had never been left and we hated it.
T

drspouse · 14/01/2021 19:16

Yes yes! Mine have both loved it.

peak2021 · 14/01/2021 19:19

I cannot expect the 4 year old speaks much French? Remember that whilst your business will be welcomed, you are coming from a country that is very unpopular in Europe especially France. I'd be checking that there are English speaking instructors.

chillichoclove · 14/01/2021 19:24

It's tricky and I think likely child dependant. We did it when my son was 17 months. He'd been in nursery since 7mths very happily. He hated it. Wouldn't settle. Stopped sleeping at night and then cried at drop off to nursery when we went home for several months. 😱 maybe just really bad timing but it's the worst holiday I've ever been on.

Now my two are older they go to kids clubs and I think from 3/4 it's fab.

May172010 · 14/01/2021 19:32

No

OfficerHops · 14/01/2021 19:34

This reply has been deleted

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MrsWooster · 14/01/2021 19:34

I wouldn't have done it when my kids were that age but, looking back, I was a dick and given my time again, I'd do it in a heartbeat!!

OfficerHops · 14/01/2021 19:34

This reply has been deleted

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Original poster
Needallthesleep · 14/01/2021 19:38

Always lovely to post a question about a holiday and get ripped a new one about my full time working @SnailortheWhale.

I doubt anyone would say the same to my DH.

I work full time not through choice but through necessity. And just loved to be made to feel like shit because of it.

OP posts:
Newgirls · 14/01/2021 19:39

Do it!

It will only be half days anyway unless you get a private nanny. They hire professionals eg women with childcare experience/training. You take them for a play in the afternoon.

A week is enough though for all of you I reckon but you could maybe get a week elsewhere say near a lake? Easter is good for this

SnailortheWhale · 14/01/2021 19:44

@Needallthesleep

Always lovely to post a question about a holiday and get ripped a new one about my full time working *@SnailortheWhale*.

I doubt anyone would say the same to my DH.

I work full time not through choice but through necessity. And just loved to be made to feel like shit because of it.

I’m not sure which part of my post you think constituted ‘ripping you a new one’ about working full time...clearly it’s a sensitive point because you have completely invented that Confused I simply mentioned that your kids are quite small to be in full time childcare so I find it odd that you would look for more childcare in the holidays. Your response shows you’re clearly not happy about having to work full time so it compounds my confusion that you’re looking for more childcare while on holiday. Anyway I think I’ll back away from this thread now because it’s full of loons! Have a good holiday....
aSofaNearYou · 14/01/2021 19:45

Were you a one year old baby when you remember loving them?

Well, no, I can only advocate them being enjoyable for older kids really as I haven't looked into provisions for babies, but I did go under three.

SnailortheWhale · 14/01/2021 19:46

Oh and I’d absolutely think it odd if a man who worked full time and wasn’t happy about it chose to put his kids in childcare while on holiday. So no need to invent sexism as well as abuse about you working.

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