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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Getting on the bus for one stop?

163 replies

Givemeabreak88 · 14/01/2021 09:36

My children are at school atm because they have autism and a ehcp so they are allowed a school place. The school is just over a mile and we walk there, it can take a bit longer due the my daughter especially as she struggles with the walk and can be very slow, refuse to walk, that kind of thing. This morning we were running abit late and the journey takes about 25 mins walking. Anyway part way through the journey there is a bus we can get, it’s only one stop but it’s quite a long stop and it’s from the top of a steep hill to the bottom. If you are in London you will know it’s been raining heavily today so as we were walking we were obviously all getting soaked, so I checked my phone and saw there was a bus due in 2 minutes and we were right by the bus stop. So I decided we would wait under the shelter and get the bus. We got onto the bus and the driver quite rudely said “You get on the bus every day to go one stop!” And started laughing, I do not get on it everyday, this was the second morning we had got on it! And they have only been back a week so I thought that was an odd comment because before going back we hadn’t got on it at all. Now he wasn’t doing it as a joke it was really rude and I felt embarrassed, like I was being called lazy? now I can tell when someone is being friendly and joking before anyone says that, he absolutely wasn’t it was said in an aggressive tone. I was quite taken back and commented on the fact it was raining heavily but he shook just his head. I ended up getting off.

Aibu to get the bus one stop? My daughter is very slow to walk and that one stop is a 10/15 minute walk with her. I didn’t realise getting on the bus for one stop was a problem which as I said I wouldn’t normally do anyway it was only because of the rain.

OP posts:

BoomBoomsCousin · 15/01/2021 09:20

It was really rude of him and he shouldn’t have said it (though I get why bus drivers would prefer the bus were as empty as possible at the moment).

However, getting off and not getting the bus because you don’t like what he - a complete stranger - thinks about your choice is Silly. Why would you do that? Just shrug at him and own it - “Not everyday, no. But in the rain this break in the walk makes all the difference.”

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 15/01/2021 10:28

@Nonameslob
Because if bus drivers are:
dying of covid at the rate of three weekly in London alone,
male bus drivers are three and a half times more likely to die from Covid-19 than men in other jobs,
TFL are advising people to walk or cycle rather than use public transport

Then it is not unreasonable for the bus driver to question whether a bus journey for a single stop is essential.

Original poster

Givemeabreak88 · 15/01/2021 11:45

So who gets to decide how many stops are “essential” 😂 2, 3, 10??

OP posts:

TooManyKidsSendHelp · 15/01/2021 12:16

@Givemeabreak88

So who gets to decide how many stops are “essential” 😂 2, 3, 10??

I believe it is MN who get to decide. They decide most things.

Original poster

Givemeabreak88 · 15/01/2021 12:22

I honestly didn’t realise there was an “acceptable” amount of bus stops, we got the bus home yesterday, like I said it’s 4 stops on the way back as it goes a different way, could we have walked yet, yeh sure, did I fancy walking in the rain again with 4 kids and getting drenched, nope. From what I understood buses were for essential journeys and yes school is essential for them, as is shopping, if we were getting it to the park then he maybe would have had a point.

OP posts:

Respectabitch · 15/01/2021 12:26

IME some London bus drivers have taken to being arsey about whether your journey is "necessary", especially if you have DC with you. Only a very very few though. (And I'll eat my fucking hat if they'd challenge a dad that way.)

WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 15/01/2021 12:28

@Dddccc

At the moment the they want minimum people on the buses and going 1 stop is pointless buy waterproofs for you all, rules are to avoid public transport where possible

Going one stop is NOT 'pointless' when you have a child that has a SEN that makes walking difficult.

Stop being so horrible.

Mookie81 · 15/01/2021 12:33

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion

First you said he was laughing when he said it, then you said he was aggressive. Which is it? Not a chance I would have got off the bus and made my kids walk in the pelting rain. That was a strange thing to do.

Seems he became aggressive once the thread wasn't going OP's way

emilyfrost · 15/01/2021 12:36

YABVU and oversensitive. He was making a lighthearted comment and you let your anxiety control you and got off What kind of message does that send to your kids?

So what if he did think you were lazy? So what if the entire bus thought the same? You shouldn’t teach your kids to care so much about what people think that it’s detrimental to yourselves.

Original poster

Givemeabreak88 · 15/01/2021 12:38

Thank you, honestly getting 4 children to school is hard enough the journey isn’t the easiest and it takes my daughter forever to walk it, it takes double the time. She can’t cycle she has no awareness of danger and would just cycle out into the road, we don’t mind walking usually and I just try to account for the extra time so that we are not late but before Covid dd was allowed to come in slightly later than everyone else as the school were understanding about the difficulty with getting her there, for example she needs to stop frequently and can only walk at a certain pace, she was allowed in at 9.15 but due to Covid we’ve been told that’s not possible anymore as they can’t have extra staff walking around the building. Really she would be entitled to transport to the school as we did not pick the school despite what a pp said, we were allocated it as it was the only one that had space for 2 children because when we moved areas we needed a space for both of my children (the others weren’t school age at that point)

Respectabitch
Oh I not surprised to hear that now! My mum said she’s had a few nasty bus drivers being rude to her recently, I mean they are not exactly known for being friendly.

OP posts:

Original poster

Givemeabreak88 · 15/01/2021 12:40

My op says the he said it in a rude way. Yeh cos London bus drivers are known for being joking and friendly oh wait...

OP posts:

Rosebel · 15/01/2021 12:40

I don't mean this nastily but you need to grow a thicker skin and ignore wankers like him.
I have an autistic daughter who can be like this and if a bus driver said that to me I'd either ignore him or tell him not to be a dick. Don't let it bother you so much. Get the bus if it's easier.

WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 15/01/2021 12:41

@petrocellihouse

A very truculent taxi driver once berated me for getting into his cab for what he said was 'such a short distance you could walk it in ten minutes'. I told him that it was none of his business as to why I was getting a taxi and if he said anymore about it I would take off my false leg which was giving my gyp, and bonk him over the head with it. He didn't say anything more after that.....

I'm sorry that happened, he really shouldn't have said anything.

However, just to explain a little. My friend is a taxi driver. There are very few places they can 'rank up'. He 'ranks' at a train station. There are a lot of them. Even pre Covid He could wait hours for a 'ride' - if it's a 'high street' it's about £4.20 takes a few minutes, then he's back on the rank, bad enough years ago when there weren't so many licences to work there, but (pre Covid) it would mean ranking for another few hours to get another 'ride' and if it's another 'high street' 🤦🏻‍♀️ He could sit on the rank from 6am to 6pm earning less than £10

Only other choice is to sit home and hope the phone rings.

He did have some regulars, but this was the only way to try to earn some money if he didn't have a booking.

& running a taxi is a lot more expensive than people realise.

& the general Public can be really really horrible to taxi drivers. The amount of abuse they get blows my mind.

Again, he shouldn't have said anything to you, and hopefully you've made him think twice before doing so again.

MustardMitt · 15/01/2021 12:41

@Givemeabreak88

There isn’t an acceptable amount of stops

you’re the one who’s said you now won’t use that bus again in case you run into him.

People are entitled to be lazy at times - I don’t think you were - but that is nobody’s business but theirs. I think you’re being ridiculously over sensitive, but sure, come back with a laughing emoji if you like. I don’t care if you make your own life harder by taking to heart a snippy comment.

Original poster

Givemeabreak88 · 15/01/2021 12:43

MustardMitt

If you read the thread someone said the bus driver has a right to question how many stops I’m going.

OP posts:

MustardMitt · 15/01/2021 12:44

@WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants kind of suggests that maybe he should consider a different profession if the market is so over saturated.

burnoutbabe · 15/01/2021 12:46

i used to do it when i had a travelcard. Would get out at Euston and it was a 10 min walk to work from there, which involved around 5-6 traffic lights. Or just jump on bus and just have 1.

I mean its a bit lazy but I didn't care.

Uhhuhoyaye · 15/01/2021 12:46

@Givemeabreak88

MustardMitt

If you read the thread someone said the bus driver has a right to question how many stops I’m going.

I think in covid times they probably do. The fewer people on the bus and waiting at the bus stop the better.

MustardMitt · 15/01/2021 12:48

I have read the thread and haven’t seen that post, I’m sure it’s there.

Your response was to: Then it is not unreasonable for the bus driver to question whether a bus journey for a single stop is essential which has quite a different tone to what you said.

MustardMitt · 15/01/2021 12:48

Like I said though, entirely possible I’ve missed a post

Comefromaway · 15/01/2021 12:51

I probably woudn't have thought of it at the time but I would have liked to have said something like "thank you for laughing at my child's hidden disability in front of them. Life is hard enough for her as it is"

Singinghollybob · 15/01/2021 12:51

I don't think you should have put your embarrassment and ego ahead of your comfort or that of your children.
We're only meant to be taking essential journeys by public transport and of course he didn't know if yours was or not, but that's not his judgement to make or comment on.
You should have stayed on the bus and ignored him.

Original poster

Givemeabreak88 · 15/01/2021 12:53

Then it is not unreasonable for the bus driver to question whether a bus journey for a single stop is essential.

The comment for you, it’s literally on this page, so I said who gets to decide how many stops are essential, so don’t bother telling me it’s different from what I said

OP posts:

Honeyroar · 15/01/2021 12:54

I think that he was very rude but I’d not have got off the bus because of what he said. If anything I’d probably have sat fuming for the journey and have thought about complaining.

But I also think you’re coming across as a little over sensitive too. You’re reading things I can’t see into people’s comments as well, so perhaps this bus driver wasn’t meaning to be rude..

RedMarauder · 15/01/2021 12:54

OP you were crazy to get off the bus.

Next time just shrug and something like "Well what can you do when you have a child with disabilities who can't walk properly?" Then go and sit down.

Anyway the bus driver should be glad you got on the bus. Most of the buses where I am now have to wait longer at stops as they only have a few people on them.

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