Getting on the bus for one stop?

[Givemeabreak88]

My children are at school atm because they have autism and a ehcp so they are allowed a school place. The school is just over a mile and we walk there, it can take a bit longer due the my daughter especially as she struggles with the walk and can be very slow, refuse to walk, that kind of thing. This morning we were running abit late and the journey takes about 25 mins walking. Anyway part way through the journey there is a bus we can get, it’s only one stop but it’s quite a long stop and it’s from the top of a steep hill to the bottom. If you are in London you will know it’s been raining heavily today so as we were walking we were obviously all getting soaked, so I checked my phone and saw there was a bus due in 2 minutes and we were right by the bus stop. So I decided we would wait under the shelter and get the bus. We got onto the bus and the driver quite rudely said “You get on the bus every day to go one stop!” And started laughing, I do not get on it everyday, this was the second morning we had got on it! And they have only been back a week so I thought that was an odd comment because before going back we hadn’t got on it at all. Now he wasn’t doing it as a joke it was really rude and I felt embarrassed, like I was being called lazy? now I can tell when someone is being friendly and joking before anyone says that, he absolutely wasn’t it was said in an aggressive tone. I was quite taken back and commented on the fact it was raining heavily but he shook just his head. I ended up getting off.

Aibu to get the bus one stop? My daughter is very slow to walk and that one stop is a 10/15 minute walk with her. I didn’t realise getting on the bus for one stop was a problem which as I said I wouldn’t normally do anyway it was only because of the rain.

I can't believe the shit you're getting on here OP. While I do think you should have stayed on to spite the bastard I also would have been very embarrassed by the public shaming and nastiness and perhaps would even have got off too.

Phone or email a complaint. A bus driver shouldn't be moaning at picking up and dropping off customers. It's the whole damn point of his job.

This reminds me of my own dickhead bus driver story.
DH and I once got on a rail replacement service bus with a rude, snarky driver and the whole 2hr journey was uncomfortable as hell.
When we pulled into a one of the stops he did the same with a teen boy around 14. The boy asked if it was a replacement for the Glasgow train to which the driver rudely said, "Can't you read? It's to XX town!" And pointed to a piece of paper in the window, so the boy, confused, walked away, now possibly missing his ride home. It was indeed the Glasgow replacement and the driver knew full well it was. It was just covering the main part of the journey. We had received the same reply from him when we had asked but still got on because I had the updated rail replacements on the app in my hand and figured he was just being snarky.

Later he really upset an old lady at one stop when she was looking for her husband who was travelling home from the hospital and was very ill. She knew he was on the replacement service. Rude driver argued and told her there was no elderly man on his bus and just shrugged. DH went to the bus door, leaned out and told the upset lady that there were in fact, two buses in the convoy, one directly behind us and her husband must be on that. Our driver knew this too but decided instead of being helpful, he'd reduce and old woman to tears.

And I sat there, like a wet fish and kept my gob shut, like everyone else who were muttering about how awful the driver was.

I did put a complaint in later. I would like to think something came of it but I doubt it.

It’s a good thing to realise strangers aren’t bothered about you. You stay drier.

Except this stranger , the driver, did take a particular interest in the op by commenting on her individual actions.

Why would you give a fuck what a random bus driver thinks?
That's what buses are for - that's why he's employed - you don't have to explain yourself. As for feeling welcome - WTF! It's a bus! He's not going to serve drinks to your seat!

@Shamefulcorners

It’s a good thing to realise strangers aren’t bothered about you. You stay drier.

Except this stranger , the driver, did take a particular interest in the op by commenting on her individual actions.

Well, you can choose to interpret a passing comment as a ‘particular interest’, but as I say, it only ends up with - for example - you and your children getting wet and tired, and nothing of any consequence happening to anyone else.

You are quite right,. We are so important a servant should not should speak to us, let alone have a joke with us. And can you imagine our horror if he asked to use our toilet: oh, the stench, oh the shame.

A bus driver should drive his bus and keep his mouth shut. Who the hell does he think he is? What gives him the right to speak to you? What gives him the right to comment about your bus taking behaviour - surely that is protected by GDPR. Report him. Sack him. Imprison him. What a horrible, horrible man.

Be inspired by the woman who avoids her next door neighbour and complain about him. Complain, complain, complain.

In fairness, I wouldn't have liked it either, but I can be a bit sensitive OP.

I'm overweight, I know I am. I also know people make judgements about this. I also have M.E. Some days I can walk hills, trek all day (though not advised at all if you suffer from it!!). Some days I'm bedridden. Some weeks I'm bedridden. Sometimes I need to take the bus one stop.

And I'm aware that when I do, if anyone gives a shit about what I'm doing (though I'm aware no one really does), they may be likely to judge by that, and my appearance, that I'm a lazy fucker.

So any driver saying that to me would embarrass me and probably make me want to avoid doing it again where ever possible. Which is ridiculous, because I have a chronic illnesses and disability.

So honestly? I would probably just shake my head at their judgement, knowing they don't know me or my story, and just forget about it, after being upset by it.

You are not being unreasonable to get one stop. Sometimes people say things the wrong way, and they don't always mean it. Sometimes they do. Fuck 'em. You know your situation and really can do whatever you like. :)

First you said he was laughing when he said it, then you said he was aggressive. Which is it?
Not a chance I would have got off the bus and made my kids walk in the pelting rain. That was a strange thing to do.

Some bus drivers are plain rude, i have had this atleast 5 times when on my way home work, and i have had a few huff and puff at me, i get the bus one stop into the town centre (its about a 10 minute walk or 2 minutes on the bus ) an then rush to catch my next bus to my children's school to collect them, i have 45 minutes to get from work to their school and some days i just make it on time and some days i am a few mins late. They always know im going one stop because its the final stop before the town centre so everyone has to get off there.
I dont understand it myself as i pay for my monthly bus ticket so can use the bus if i wish ! I have emailed the bus company in the past to complain but they have never responded.

I live in a very hilly area of London so catch the the bus up the hill one stop all the time. I would have said to the driver "yeah I know but this is a bloody steep hill" and done a little chuckle and then sat down.

So a bus driver made a shirty comment. I wonder do you make shirty comments? Ever snapped at your partner or family or children?

We are so eager to over think others behaviour and ignore our own. You have no idea if the bus driver later thought 'Oh god I was a shit this morning to that woman and her children, why did I say that?'

We need to stop this insane amount of sensitivity to everyone else but ourselves.

Emeeno1

So a bus driver made a shirty comment. I wonder do you make shirty comments? Ever snapped at your partner or family or children?

We are so eager to over think others behaviour and ignore our own. You have no idea if the bus driver later thought 'Oh god I was a shit this morning to that woman and her children, why did I say that?

We need to stop this insane amount of sensitivity to everyone else but ourselves

I’m sure the OP appreciates the lecture.

So, because she may or may not have snapped at someone entirely unrelated to the bus driver (at some point in her life) she should just take it on the chin?

What a load of crap.

It’s a good thing to realise strangers aren’t bothered about you. You stay drier.

The driver was obviously bothered enough to comment.

He was a wally. The world is full of them.

A good response is 'yes?' with this face

Stare the buggers down.

And don't get off the bus in future!

Some bus drivers are charmless idiots aren’t they? I once got the bus from from one end of my town to the other...about two miles...with a rake of shopping and two kids. When I boarded and stated my destination he scowled at me and snapped, “This isn’t the town service.”
as it’s a service that passes through our town and travels beyond. It stops at all the stops though...so no reason for me not to use it. I scowled back and asked him for his driver ID number so I could complain. I never did bother to complain but that shut him up in the moment.

Aaaanyways....point being...some drivers are like that. As someone who didn’t pass their driving test until I was 39, I can assure you that you do get drivers who are rude, unhelpful and outspoken. They are also completely ignorable. Don’t give this guy another thought. You didn’t need to get off the bus or feel judged...he doesn’t get a say. You don’t need to worry about him.
Next time say, “None of your business” and get on with your day.

In other news, all those wringing their hands over the rain...Christ! It’s only rain...they won’t dissolve in it! Pull yourselves together adult women, please.

He was rude, and I would have been a bit upset, too. Wrongly, but that’s me.

There is nothing wrong with getting the bus in your circumstances.

"aggressive and illogical feelings of an idiot of a bus driver" is a bit tough - 60 TFL staff have died from covid, more than 60% of them bus drivers, and five bus drivers in the last two weeks.
Presumably the man is aware of that, may have lost colleagues, and the report summarising this information being made available this week could have heightened his sensitivity to it.

Would he have known that your children have special needs?
If a frequent route and he happened to be the driver the previous week, how is he to know that you don't do this every day?

outside of covid, I use buses most days - I think I last used one about six weeks ago, and walk about 4 miles a day instead.

www.lbc.co.uk/news/60-tfl-staff-lost-life-covid-19-lbc-investigation-finds/

Get on the bus this morning! Look him in the eye and say "yes, I'm getting on for one stop, is that any of your business?"

@pictish

Some bus drivers are charmless idiots aren’t they? I once got the bus from from one end of my town to the other...about two miles...with a rake of shopping and two kids. When I boarded and stated my destination he scowled at me and snapped, “This isn’t the town service.” as it’s a service that passes through our town and travels beyond. It stops at all the stops though...so no reason for me not to use it. I scowled back and asked him for his driver ID number so I could complain. I never did bother to complain but that shut him up in the moment.

Aaaanyways....point being...some drivers are like that. As someone who didn’t pass their driving test until I was 39, I can assure you that you do get drivers who are rude, unhelpful and outspoken. They are also completely ignorable. Don’t give this guy another thought. You didn’t need to get off the bus or feel judged...he doesn’t get a say. You don’t need to worry about him.
Next time say, “None of your business” and get on with your day.

In other news, all those wringing their hands over the rain...Christ! It’s only rain...they won’t dissolve in it! Pull yourselves together adult women, please.

absolutely, the ones that are still alive are so rude and charmless particularly the ones with buses full of aggressive passengers that can't be arsed to wear masks.

Threatening servicepeople with reporting them to their employers for such minor infractions is absolutely shameful behaviour.

I don’t understand why people can’t see that you can laugh AT someone and it not be friendly, like taking the piss out of them?!, anyway thinking back to it he was actually shaking his head at us from as soon as he stopped the bus and opened the doors, at first I thought he was saying we couldn’t get on for some reason (I have a little one in a pram and I thought he was trying to tell us there was no space before I spotted it was empty so I got on) and that’s when he said it. And yes you can laugh AT someone you are taking the piss out of. And no I won’t be getting on it this morning. And the end of the day whether I’ve ever snapped at someone related to me is irrelevant, I am a stranger to him and I didn’t do anything other than board his bus, snapping at a partner is different to a stranger.

Fair enough op.
We are all different.
I would make the bus part of my daily journey and get on it every day.
Sounds like you have enough to deal with.

@MiddleParking

Threatening servicepeople with reporting them to their employers for such minor infractions is absolutely shameful behaviour.

I'm glad someone said this.

A snippy comment might not have been the greatest moment in the (stressed, demanding, badly paid and currently DANGEROUS) job of a bus driver. But wielding your power to play god with his livelihood for something so minor is frankly despicable.

OP for the love of god stop huffing and puffing and replaying this tiny incident to us. Just get on the bloody bus and pay the driver no mind.

Please don’t let this idiot put you off op. If you have the strength, can you try to muster up the courage to tell him your daughter is disabled and his opinion is not required?

@Givemeabreak88

Either way bus drivers don’t need to comment on anyone’s journey since when is that a “thing” I’ve never seen it happen before

Next time give him a big smile (actually youll probably need to laugh as he won't see the smile behind your mask) and say "yes, one stop - want to give me a discount?"

As PP have pointed out, bus drivers were ridiculously exposed and are still in risky roles. He might have just been having a bad day. Don't let it bother you.

@EveryDayIsADuvetDay Would he have known that your children have special needs?

Why should he have to know her child has special needs? She's entitled to get the bus whatever her circumstances.

how is he to know that you don't do this every day?

Why does he need to know? What a strange comment.