Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Getting on the bus for one stop?

163 replies

Givemeabreak88 · 14/01/2021 09:36

My children are at school atm because they have autism and a ehcp so they are allowed a school place. The school is just over a mile and we walk there, it can take a bit longer due the my daughter especially as she struggles with the walk and can be very slow, refuse to walk, that kind of thing. This morning we were running abit late and the journey takes about 25 mins walking. Anyway part way through the journey there is a bus we can get, it’s only one stop but it’s quite a long stop and it’s from the top of a steep hill to the bottom. If you are in London you will know it’s been raining heavily today so as we were walking we were obviously all getting soaked, so I checked my phone and saw there was a bus due in 2 minutes and we were right by the bus stop. So I decided we would wait under the shelter and get the bus. We got onto the bus and the driver quite rudely said “You get on the bus every day to go one stop!” And started laughing, I do not get on it everyday, this was the second morning we had got on it! And they have only been back a week so I thought that was an odd comment because before going back we hadn’t got on it at all. Now he wasn’t doing it as a joke it was really rude and I felt embarrassed, like I was being called lazy? now I can tell when someone is being friendly and joking before anyone says that, he absolutely wasn’t it was said in an aggressive tone. I was quite taken back and commented on the fact it was raining heavily but he shook just his head. I ended up getting off.

Aibu to get the bus one stop? My daughter is very slow to walk and that one stop is a 10/15 minute walk with her. I didn’t realise getting on the bus for one stop was a problem which as I said I wouldn’t normally do anyway it was only because of the rain.

OP posts:
upsidedownwavylegs · 14/01/2021 11:26

Both the OP and some of these responses are absolutely batshit. Getting off the bus and making the kids walk? You’re keeping him in a job? Complain to the bus company? Christ. He’s a bus driver, being a grumpy fucker making solemn-toned jokes that don’t land is practically in his job description. I cannot believe someone would make their kids get off a bus because of that, or, worse, try and get the guy in trouble at work. Back in the real world, any normal person would have laughed and said “yes, well it seems to pour down every day, come on kids let’s find a seat.”

Spanielmadness · 14/01/2021 11:30

So you threw your toys out of the pram and continued to walk in the rain.
You really showed him! 😂

ivefuckinghadenoughnow · 14/01/2021 11:34

He's being odd.
I live in the country, the walk to the next village (where school is) would take around 90 mins via fields and woodland as despite a large verge the council don't think we need a path! So i always bus it which is 1 stop, no one has ever commented.
Ignore OP.

MustardMitt · 14/01/2021 11:37

Come on now. You can’t let a snippy comment make your life harder @Givemeabreak88. You’re a grown woman, you don’t need to feel ‘welcomed’ on a bus, just get on it when you need to and either ignore a daft comment like that or remind him he’s a bus driver and that’s what he’s there for?!

I mean this kindly but seriously, get a thicker skin.

LemonBreeland · 14/01/2021 11:38

I don't understand this comment.
Well if we are made to feel unwelcome then yes I will get off. He obviously had a problem with it.

His job is to drive the bus with whichever passengers get on. Who gives a fuck if he wants you on the bus or not. If this means you genuinely don't want to get on the bus again, then I suggest you work on your self worth. And you should also complain about the driver.

Plmoknijb123 · 14/01/2021 11:38

YANBU it was rude. But that’s life, some people are arseholes. Just say so why ting back or ignore and get on with your day. Do the best for your children and ignore everything else.

Taylrse · 14/01/2021 11:38

If you want to get the bus and travel one stop then you can. You don't need an excuse or to justify it to anyone.

Just say something obvious back to him like, "I see you're driving the bus again"

Brighterthansunflowers · 14/01/2021 11:42

YANBU to get the bus, but please don’t tell him the line about passengers like you keeping him in a job that PP have suggested. As anyone who’s ever worked with the general public will tell you it just makes you look a bit of a dick.

Arobase · 14/01/2021 11:45

Carry on using the bus, if he comments again say politely that you are allowed to use the bus for one stop and you don't think it's necessary for him to comment. If he continues, record him and put in a formal complaint with the bus company.

DahliaMacNamara · 14/01/2021 11:48

Life's too short to give any of this headspace. He was being judgemental. You were being over-sensitive, understandably so, but you were. You probably won't see that driver again for ages. Don't dwell on it.

Dddccc · 14/01/2021 11:48

At the moment the they want minimum people on the buses and going 1 stop is pointless buy waterproofs for you all, rules are to avoid public transport where possible

UndertheCedartree · 14/01/2021 11:54

That would have upset me too.

VintageStitchers · 14/01/2021 11:54

Getting upset and petulant because of a silly comment from a total stranger is not something I’d want my children to imitate.

You should have either ignored him and sat down (my preferred option) or replied robustly to shut him up, but I definitely wouldn’t have stepped back off the bus.

There are arsey outspoken people everywhere (especially in the U.K.) and you’re teaching your children that the negative judgement of complete stranger has some importance, when it shouldn’t do.

Try and work on your self esteem and learn how to knock back unwanted comments and attention.

Honestly, other people’s opinions are of no relevance so don’t give them power over you. You’re grand as you are!

Cadent · 14/01/2021 11:55

Well if we are made to feel unwelcome then yes I will get off. He obviously had a problem with it.

It’s a bus, not a party! He has no right to make you feel unwelcome, OP.

I would start getting the bus every day just to piss him off.

sofiaaaaaa · 14/01/2021 11:57

Look - if you don’t plan on driving instead, you’re going to have to become more resilient.

You essentially punished your children for the sake of “sticking it” to the bus driver. Yes, he made an arsey comment, but you weren’t in any danger had you stayed on the bus. Instead you let your kids get further soaked in poor weather, you know deep down that decision was to their detriment. You temporarily feeling embarrassed on the bus would have been the better evil.

Also you need to take into account that we’re in weird times and random people you come across might feel on edge and uneasy. Bus drivers in London were particularly susceptible to COVID-19 in the beginning and many actually died. The driver is likely to feel scared and anxious which can manifest as rude and abrupt. I’m assuming that none of you were wearing face coverings as you were just in the rain and children are exempt etc, so the driver wrongly may have felt you unnecessarily placed him at risk. You just have to rise above it.

Cadent · 14/01/2021 11:59

@sofiaaaaaa please don’t make excuses for the driver and make assumptions about the OP. That’s not fair.

TooManyKidsSendHelp · 14/01/2021 12:00

Yes, you are right - he was very rude. He shouldn't have said that. But... I would just let it go. Some people are just very rude.

petrocellihouse · 14/01/2021 12:02

A very truculent taxi driver once berated me for getting into his cab for what he said was 'such a short distance you could walk it in ten minutes'. I told him that it was none of his business as to why I was getting a taxi and if he said anymore about it I would take off my false leg which was giving my gyp, and bonk him over the head with it. He didn't say anything more after that.....

Whiskysoda · 14/01/2021 12:08

Seriously that’s all you have to worry about? Some nasty man spoke to you in a funny way or not.

Hardly with even noticing, let alone writing about on Mumsnet love. Just get on the bus, no need to make a drama. Ignore bus driver in future.

Original poster
Givemeabreak88 · 14/01/2021 12:09

petrocellihouse Oh wow, why are people so judgemental.

I reckon he thinks my house is right next to the bus stop and I haven’t already been walking for 15 minutes 🤦‍♀️ I am hardly “punishing” my kids though, we walk anyway as usually the bus isn’t due straight away, it’s normally 10 minutes we’ve been lucky that the last two times it was due when we was passing.

OP posts:
Floomobal · 14/01/2021 12:09

@Givemeabreak88

Now I’m neglectful for making my kids walk in the rain? Wtf 🙄 this sites nuts.
Possible that you over react to everything that people say
queenofSI · 14/01/2021 12:10

why on earth did you get off the bus?! He was being a dickhead (if he used the tone you said) but who cares, you’re paying the fare so who cares what he thinks

Original poster
Givemeabreak88 · 14/01/2021 12:10

Either way bus drivers don’t need to comment on anyone’s journey since when is that a “thing” I’ve never seen it happen before Confused

OP posts:
CharlieSocial · 14/01/2021 12:11

Get a grip OP. What are you talking about saying you didnt feel welcomed on to the bus.

I've never heard anything so ridiculous. How do you survive in life in general if you were willing to bite your nose off to spite your face and make your kids walk in the pissing rain and get to school soaked

Yeah , that showed him.... not

peak2021 · 14/01/2021 12:12

If it's raining, reasonable. Otherwise I think you should walk. Not for a bus driver to comment though.