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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Getting on the bus for one stop?

163 replies

Givemeabreak88 · 14/01/2021 09:36

My children are at school atm because they have autism and a ehcp so they are allowed a school place. The school is just over a mile and we walk there, it can take a bit longer due the my daughter especially as she struggles with the walk and can be very slow, refuse to walk, that kind of thing. This morning we were running abit late and the journey takes about 25 mins walking. Anyway part way through the journey there is a bus we can get, it’s only one stop but it’s quite a long stop and it’s from the top of a steep hill to the bottom. If you are in London you will know it’s been raining heavily today so as we were walking we were obviously all getting soaked, so I checked my phone and saw there was a bus due in 2 minutes and we were right by the bus stop. So I decided we would wait under the shelter and get the bus. We got onto the bus and the driver quite rudely said “You get on the bus every day to go one stop!” And started laughing, I do not get on it everyday, this was the second morning we had got on it! And they have only been back a week so I thought that was an odd comment because before going back we hadn’t got on it at all. Now he wasn’t doing it as a joke it was really rude and I felt embarrassed, like I was being called lazy? now I can tell when someone is being friendly and joking before anyone says that, he absolutely wasn’t it was said in an aggressive tone. I was quite taken back and commented on the fact it was raining heavily but he shook just his head. I ended up getting off.

Aibu to get the bus one stop? My daughter is very slow to walk and that one stop is a 10/15 minute walk with her. I didn’t realise getting on the bus for one stop was a problem which as I said I wouldn’t normally do anyway it was only because of the rain.

OP posts:
Original poster
Givemeabreak88 · 14/01/2021 12:12

In fact this particular bus stop is right outside a secondary school and there is always loads of kids waiting at it, the bus from that stop only goes one stop (then terminates) so it should hardly be a surprise for the driver, it may be one stop but it’s a long hill.

OP posts:
Original poster
Givemeabreak88 · 14/01/2021 12:13

Obviously not at the moment but when schools are back that bus stop is usually pretty busy.

OP posts:
NotSorry · 14/01/2021 12:14

@Givemeabreak88

Either way bus drivers don’t need to comment on anyone’s journey since when is that a “thing” I’ve never seen it happen before Confused
It’s not a “thing” you should have just laughed at him and said “that’s right”

You definitely shouldn’t have got back off the bus - complain to the bus company if he made you feel uncomfortable

LemonBreeland · 14/01/2021 12:14

It doesn't matter what he thinks about how far you may have walked or not. And everyone agrees with you that he shouldn't have commented. But you are the one who cut your nose off to spite your face and got back off the bus. People are simply pointing out that you should not have done this.

NewYearNewLockdown · 14/01/2021 12:15

@Givemeabreak88

Either way bus drivers don’t need to comment on anyone’s journey since when is that a “thing” I’ve never seen it happen before Confused
I'd assume pp is right in the fact he is thinking of the risks of Covid.
MotherExtraordinaire · 14/01/2021 12:15

Tbh I don't understand really why, if you've opted for your children to go to a school that's 25 minutes walk at the slowest child's pace that you wouldn't have appropriate weather gear, umbrellas etc and leave in sufficient time. Then the whole bus fiasco wouldn't have happened.

Getting the bus for one stop, when it's downhill is lazy imo but worse than that you're increasing the risk to other rpeople and your children with the covid situation. It was an unnecessary journey by bus.

The bus driver whether intending to be jovial or rude, was merely stating a fact.

You can get all irate over it. But that's equally unnecessary.

Fwiw, I have a child with asd, and am fully aware how difficult mornings can be - for us it's getting to school that's a bloody nightmare. But we ALWAYS walk. Regardless if weather. Your children were already wet by that point anyway!

sofiaaaaaa · 14/01/2021 12:15

[quote Cadent]@sofiaaaaaa please don’t make excuses for the driver and make assumptions about the OP. That’s not fair.[/quote]
“Excuses”? I would say it is incredibly pertinent actually.

As her children are young and have special needs, they were unlikely to be in masks. My assumption is likely to correct. How is that unfair?

Please refrain from @-ing me such foolishness in the future. In fact, just don’t message me at all, cheers!

SleepingStandingUp · 14/01/2021 12:16

@Givemeabreak88

Well if we are made to feel unwelcome then yes I will get off. He obviously had a problem with it.
It's a bus, not his home. He was rude but it's not his job to make you feel welcome and safe and comfortable. Most of them don't talk so are hardly welcoming you on and telling you how great it is to see you.

You need a thicker skin and to put your children's needs ahead of your ego

So he was a bit rude. You were in the right to use the bus. You need to learn to not be cowed down by other people possibly not thinking you're amazing.

RuthW · 14/01/2021 12:18

I would make a complaint to the bus company. It's none of his business.

Threetoone · 14/01/2021 12:22

What an arse, I bet the buses are pretty empty too.
You shouldn’t have got off the bus, you paid your fare, you’re entitled to go one stop or 20 stops.
If I was you I would be getting that bus every morning from now on for the one stop, get on with a big smile saying morning, yep just the one stop again today! That’ll show him.

Original poster
Givemeabreak88 · 14/01/2021 12:25

He wasn’t stating a fact? We have got TWO days in a row! How is the a fact that I get it every day? We didn’t chose the school either, we moved areas and it was the closest one that had space.

OP posts:
MiddleParking · 14/01/2021 12:32

@Givemeabreak88

He wasn’t stating a fact? We have got TWO days in a row! How is the a fact that I get it every day? We didn’t chose the school either, we moved areas and it was the closest one that had space.
Honestly, it’s so silly that you’re arguing the toss over this. Absolutely nobody, including that bus driver, could give a hoot about where you live in relation to the bus stop, how many days in a row you’ve got on the bus, how many stops you went or why your children go to their school. The sooner you get your head around the fact that other people are mainly interested in themselves and very much not interested in you, the happier you’ll be.
Original poster
Givemeabreak88 · 14/01/2021 12:34

He cared enough to comment, as do you 😅

OP posts:
BadBear · 14/01/2021 12:39

Please ignore all negative comments...

None of his business to comment regardless of your reasons to get the bus. End of really. Bus companies are businesses which offer a service and you bought that service.

Shamefulcorners · 14/01/2021 12:39

Ignore the few posters who are taking delight in making you feel worse op Flowers. It's a national sport on here sometimes.

You have DC with special needs and how you choose to allocate your remaining spoonfuls of energy is down to you, not a rude driver. We all have different pressures in life and you don't have to justify yourself to him or anyone else. Incidents like this (especially if he embarrassed you in front of the entire bus) can be the straw that broke the camel's back. I would have been upset by it too.

Don't let him intimidate you, or stop you from taking the bus again, just thank him for his "charming welcome" and bear in mind that although he is totally out of order, he is probably stressed about catching the new variant and is projecting that anxiety on to you.

MustardMitt · 14/01/2021 12:39

I am honestly so baffled as to why you give a fuck what a stranger who has maybe seen you twice thinks? If he’d said that to me I would have just said ‘yep that’s me!’ or similar, I’m not saying you have to respond like that but why do you care?

Cadent · 14/01/2021 12:40

@sofiaaaaaa

As her children are young and have special needs, they were unlikely to be in masks. My assumption is likely to correct. How is that unfair?

Because you assumed OP wasn’t wearing a mask. Funny how you’re forgetting that bit Hmm. And children under 12 are exempt from wearing a mask so your post makes no sense.

Please refrain from @-ing me such foolishness in the future. In fact, just don’t message me at all, cheers

Nope, that’s not how it works. If you can’t take debate, get off the thread.

Cadent · 14/01/2021 12:41

*under 11

BogRollBOGOF · 14/01/2021 12:42

He was a prat to comment and it's really not worth inconveniencing yourself over it.

The journey to school is essential. At that moment, it was more practical to use the bus for a short journey. Buses are there to transport people.

I used to hop on the bus to avoid a 400m uphill walk from the shops when I had SPD. I could walk down the hill, but didn't have enough mobility in my hip to walk home. Although the bus journey was a convoluted S shape around the neighbourhood which dropped me off a short downhill walk from home. I did have one dispute about requests stops... it turned out I was in labour at that point...

MustardMitt · 14/01/2021 12:42

Also I don’t think you can simultaneously laugh and be aggressive, so I think you’re overthinking massively and it was intended as a lighthearted ribbing. From your tone on this thread it looks like you’re a bit tightly wound, wether that’s circumstantial or just your personality I don’t know, but you’ll find life easier if you just let things go that have no bearing on you.

Original poster
Givemeabreak88 · 14/01/2021 12:43

Shamefulcorners

Thank you, there are obviously a few posters who enjoy being deliberately nasty, I did feel really embarrassed I don’t know why he felt the need to shame me in front of the other passengers, he was clearly implying it was lazy and I felt that the rest of the bus would be thinking the same so I would have rather got off, he didn’t need to announce it to a bus full of people.

OP posts:
Goodbye2020Hello2021 · 14/01/2021 12:48

OP. You can can get on the bus for as many or as few stops as you like.
Ignore him, he was really rude and it’s non of his business why you chose to get the bus rather than walk.
You must get the bus whenever you choose if it makes your like easier.
If he is stupid enough to comment again just reply ‘Don’t judge me and I won’t judge you’.

cyclingmad · 14/01/2021 12:48

Sorry but the bus driver should not be speaking to customers in that way. It is absolutely none of his business how long you take a bus ride for, so long as you are not causing trouble on the bus.

With fares down massively he is lucky that his company has not gone under and any journey that is a paid journey is helping keeping his company afloat.

Just ignore him in future

Goodbye2020Hello2021 · 14/01/2021 12:51

Also I don’t think you can simultaneously laugh and be aggressive
Untrue. People can ‘laugh’ sneeringly or at you rather than with you. Both of which are designed to humiliate or put the other person down. Therefore - aggressive.

MiddleParking · 14/01/2021 13:04

@Givemeabreak88

He cared enough to comment, as do you 😅
Well, yes, but that’s sort of my point - most people understand that someone passing comment isn’t a demonstration of investment. I’m a total stranger to you and after I make my comment I head off and get on with my day, or go and drive my bus to the next stop, and don’t give you a passing thought. Only you and your children have suffered any detriment from you overestimating other people’s level of interest in you. It’s a good thing to realise strangers aren’t bothered about you. You stay drier.