AIBU to give my niece money for uni

[Almostslimjim]

when I may not be able to for other niblings?

My niece is due for uni soon, she is a bright and intelligent girl and wants to go to uni but currently is refusing to due to the level of debt she will accrue at the end. I believe, based on her academic record that she would do well there.

We currently have the means to give her some money towards uni, equating to roughly half. I would like to discuss this with my sister (DNs mum) however my only concern is I may be unable to offer the same support to my other nieces and nephews - I currently have niece, 1 nephew (3) and 1 nibling on the way but have lots of younger siblings who are not yet having families but likely will in the future.

I also have 2 children of my own, whose uni funds are already accounted for.

The amount I have available for niece would make a big difference to her, however split between my siblings (e.g. I divided between 5 for them to use for their kids) would be very small, almost worthless.

WWYD?

AIBU to offer the help whilst I can? Knowing it is unlikely to be possible for the others?

Ok, so new plan:

• keep some cash back for DN to help with living costs and new computer
• Put remaining money in to a long term investment account in the hope it grows and split equally amongst niblings (retained by me until uni age) once the next one is uni age.

@worstofbothworlds

Of course you can pay, my dd paid out of her trust (lucky kid)

There is no benefit to paying them off early.

Being debt free is a nice feeling. Our DCs paid theirs off when they could.

The big question for me is... what if she doesn't like her course (I know someone who has been to three Uni's, still not settled). What if she gives up halfway through. What if she treats Uni as one long party. I know you probably think you know you niece, but people can change when they get Uni freedom.

It's a nice thought but a little complicated in my view.

I’m only in no camp because of the other kids you can’t help. May e you can help her in another way?

New plan is good. Definitely would be harming your niece to single her out. You’re making a wise, kind choice.

I think your last post is a perfect compromise.

Example IT and Software Engineering apprenticeships with degrees:

www.findapprenticeship.service.gov.uk/apprenticeship/-562546

www.findapprenticeship.service.gov.uk/apprenticeship/1000008596

If you give your child money for other purposes, there are all sorts of tax implications.

The only tax implication is for inheritance tax, if you die within seven years of handing over the money, and that will catch almost no-one. So I disagree that there are tax implications.

I would suggest showing her the martin Lewis website which explains it better then offering to help her with the maintenance element at a level where you can help other nieces and nephews too. M

Do you think she’s likely to want to travel or complete a masters after her undergraduate studies?

If it were me, I’d help her with living costs for her undergraduate (agree with PPs, no point paying the fees IMO) and then keep some aside for after. Part of her concern may be graduating without the means to support herself while job hunting/travel/do further study (which funding is less readily available for). If you can offer a safety net for that, the cost may be less daunting.

As an aside, my DC has an average graduate salary and their repayments on their student loan are roughly equivalent to their smartphone contract each month - I know which has been more beneficial to their future!

There's really no point in paying the uni fees. Is that what you're thinking of? Or just helping towards living costs? I think your niece probably hasn't really looked into uni funding properly. As another poster suggests, read the Martin Lewis article about student loans and send it to your niece.

help her with the maintenance element at a level where you can help other nieces and nephews too.

Thing is, if I did this I would give her no money. I cannot guarantee that I would be able to help any future niblings. The next one is 15years away from uni, lots can happen in that time meaning I may not have the money to help.

Apologies OP, I hadn't read your update.

@worstofbothworlds

I'm not sure you can pay uni fees in England, if you are in England? I am a lecturer and my understanding is that you have to take the fees loan.

This is 100% not true - mine were paid upfront.

Oh and I don’t agree with the whole the loan is cheaper thing. Last I checked interest rates were very high and accrued from day 1

The interest rate is apparently 3% real. That's slightly less than I would expect to make invested in shares or property, but it's high enough that paying it off would not be a bad decision, were it not for one important fact: the possibility that you might never have to pay it back. It's that possibility, however low the probability, that means it's probably always suboptimal not to have the loan.

She doesn't want to go and is using the 'debt' line as a get out. Anybody who is intelligent enough to go to university has the ability to understand fully how the system with loans etc works and realise it isn't 'bad debt' so to speak.

@Almostslimjim

help her with the maintenance element at a level where you can help other nieces and nephews too.

Thing is, if I did this I would give her no money. I cannot guarantee that I would be able to help any future niblings. The next one is 15years away from uni, lots can happen in that time meaning I may not have the money to help.

Forget 15 years time! It’s not remotely relevant. Fairness applies to your own children and it’s hard enough to manage with them. Extend it to nieces and nephews and it’s impossible. Just do what your heart tells you. You’re massively overthinking this.

I see you've changed your plan slightly. I would just say that as a parent I wouldn't accept financial help for one of my children that wouldn't be equally offered to the others due to fairness.

It could lead to resentment and jealousy issues if the other dc feel they are treated differently, particularly if they choose different paths and feel she gets preferential treatment because she's academically 'superior'.

It also smacks of trying to pressure her into doing something you think she should do but maybe she has good reasons why it's not the right thing for her at this time.

@charliespie

She doesn't want to go and is using the 'debt' line as a get out. Anybody who is intelligent enough to go to university has the ability to understand fully how the system with loans etc works and realise it isn't 'bad debt' so to speak.

Not actually true.

Many bright kids at certain subjects struggle with finance, given they've never had to really worry much about money at that age.

Hell, there are enough grown adults that don't understand the absurd loan system we currently have.

Because DN is an outlier in terms of age, i think it's likely she's already been treated v differently financially anyway. People spend more when there's one than 6. So in theory it isn't a total no go.

However i think you'd do better to talk to her properly about loans and how they work. If her parents are low income surely she'll be means tested for fees anyway? So say get the loan ,its basically just a bit extra tax if you get a good job, and then offer to give her X amount a month to help out.
I'd then open a savings account for the younger niblings so that when they come of age you can do something similar if less. THe other thing to think about is if theres 5 younger ones and 4 go to uni and one goes to college then work , would you refuse to give them money because its only a reward for uni?

What does she want to study?

Could you contribute by helping her get set up for it instead by buying things that a student would find incredibly expensive like textbooks and a laptop? I like the idea of giving her £1000 a year too to help out.

I think it's an incredibly generous offer you're thinking of making.

I wouldn't due to issues in the future.

My sister went to University at the time when it was free. I went ten years later when it wasn't. My uncle gave me some money when I went , which he'd saved up for years. He hadn't done the same for my sister, but he had contributed greatly towards her wedding. Despite this my sister wasn't impressed.

I think you can only go with the information you have at this point in time, so future possible children are irrelevant. The next child down is so much younger, may not want to go to university etc, that I wouldn’t factor them in either. Perhaps when the three year old is 18 you could do something nice for him/her ?
Do any other children need to know that you helped niece ? Couldn’t it be a private thing ?
I would talk to your sister and niece, and in your place I would offer to help towards her living costs, or whatever seems most financially sensible to do.
This isn’t favouring one child over others, there is such a huge gap that it is more trying to help a current situation, that may never apply again.

There are too many drawbacks to what you are considering.

It would be better if you could offer your experience to her/her parents to 'mentor' her through uni, help her through form-filling, negotiate through the humps and dips.

Uni debt is not like other debts. It annoys me that people think this. She’s pay back the 50k fees or so if she earns over 24k ( think it’s that amount) and then it’s about £10 a month.
Martin Lewis talks about this all the time. Google and you’ll see