To be upset the cleaner has shrunk my children’s clothes... again

[Wobblywombat]

I know many may think it’s unreasonable to have a cleaner in the first place, but since I work very long hours and have small children it’s a choice I made to have more time for family.

I don’t buy many expensive clothes, let alone for the children but every so often I will buy or be gifted nice woolens (like for Christmas) and hope they will last and be passed on from child to child and generation to generation (my mother kept all my nice outfits).

Our cleaner has managed to ruin every single nice piece in the last 3 years. I explained many times how woolens should be washed, then asked her not to wash them, then eventually asked her not to wash any delicates and stay away from them.

Yet she just ruined a lovely outfit that my family gifted our newborn.

Is it silly to feel so gutted about an outfit?

Our cleaner is really smart, amazing and has worked with us for many years. One of her few weaknesses is she is very proud and can never admit when she makes a mistake or apologise properly when she breaks / ruins things.

I would feel bad for taking her to task about this just after giving her a nice Christmas gift but I am so gutted that she ruined this and didn’t think to even mention it to me.
What would you do?

YANBU. I would honestly get a new cleaner.

Please don't apologise for having a cleaner or for liking nice things

Why would you continue to let her wash your nice outfits after three years of her ruining them?

You should have stopped her washing them after the first two times it happened. Since you know this is an issue you have with her, YABU to expect her to suddenly wash them properly.

I didnt realise cleaners did laundry

Cleaners don't generally do laundry - clearly you have a special arrangement for this

However as it's been years of her wrecking things, you need to take some responsibility here. Just tell her to stop putting a wash on. Surely you can do this yourself?

Your cleaner washes your clothes???

I had that - told the cleaner not to every wash clothes and then she did it again and we changed cleaner. A few months later, my MIL turned all our white sheets pink.....
Next cleaner did the same! No-one except me washed clothes now.

Get rid of her just for not admitting to a mistake and really doing her own thing instead of listening when you asked her not to touch them

You need to employ a laundress.

If shes been tols numerous times and then told to leave them alone, then i would be having a firm word with her and looking into getting charges for damages worked into her contract moving forward.

Do your own laundry or have different laundry baskets.

I have some items that are dry clean only, I poo those in a seperate bag so my cleaner doesn’t have to sort things that can and cannot be machine washed. Usually if I want somethings washing I pop them in laundry bags so she can pop them straight in the machine without any sorting etc.

Is she a housekeeper because I've never heard of a cleaner that does laundry.

Tell her not to wash any more clothes full stop.

Get her just to clean and make other arrangements for your laundry.

Do you put dirty delicates in a separate basket, and ask her not to wash the stuff in that basket, or do you put them in with the general laundry and expect her to separate them out?

If the latter then YABVU.

If the former - less unreasonable, but as a PP said, I’d have found a different laundry solution after 3 years of the same issue. Laundrapp for example, or simply hiding any delicates away.

If you are going to let her continue doing laundry then hide the woollen things away and wash them yourself. If you just put them in the normal laundry basket it's an easy mistake for her to make.

Cleaners generally don't do laundry, do they?

I would just tell her not to wash anything, tbh. Much easier to wash it yourself.

If you really want the cleaner to do laundry then you either need to wash the delicates yourself (so the laundry basket only has standard stuff) or have 2 laundry baskets, one marked DELICATES ONLY.

My cleaner does laundry,and is much more careful than I am
OP you need to either get a new cleaner,or stop her doing laundry or don’t let her wash special things

Keep delicates/wool seperate and wash them yourself. Shes a good cleaner otherwise no need to get rid.

I agree, why have you let her ruin things for 3YRS??? Surely after the 2nd time, that would have been it!

I'd ask her 'hi, 'cleaner', just checking if you know what happened to DD woolen jumper when you washed it on tue?

If you have an arrangement for washing, could you put things into the machine, with the correct woolen mix and settings on, but she takes things out and hangs them up? OR just let her do the bedding or things she doesnt ruin, and only YOU do the precious woolens?

Keep your wool or specials separate and wash them yourself. I'm guessing it's not loads of stuff?

It's Frugi and they really do look shit after one wash.

@emilyfrost
I have asked her to not wash our woolens (please read the post - I asked her to stay away from all delicates when she kept ruining things afterwards)

@minipie
We use a separare basket for delicates.

@vanillandhoney
Yes, she is essentially a housekeeper and gets paid much more than a cleaner.
Laundry and ironing are 50% of her job as we keep the house very clean and tidy.

@BackwardsGoing
She’s really very good on most other fronts - and so I don’t feel like it warrants firing her after 8 years.
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If I were to explain to her how upset I am she might offer to replace the item out of pride, but I feel that would be very harsh.
I wish she could acknowledge and say sorry properly, and take more care in future - but I’m out of ideas on how to do this without hurting her pride and getting into a passive agressive spiral

I don't understand why a cleaner is washing clothes?

I’ve never had a cleaner wash clothes, and if she’s been getting it wrong for three years, you’re pretty unreasonable to continue to give her the opportunity to ruin them persistently

Just put the washing on before she comes takes two minutes , She can sort it when it comes out of the machine .