To never feel comfortable doing this

[Frickinfreezinginthishouse]

I’m in another country and we’re due to go into full lockdown this week. I’m at home alone with my toddler and dog, Dp at work 8-6. Aside from the garden I’ll need you get out with my Dd and dog. Next to our house we have woods leading down to the beach. I love to walk through these when Dp is around but whenever I take just Dd and our dog I feel really uneasy and just want to get back. As we won’t be allowed to drive to place, this is our only place to walk, aside from around busy roads near our home, which is hard with both Dd and our dog, who needs to be off the lead.
Does anyone else walk in deserted places, would you feel uneasy or do you think it’s fairly safe with Dd and our dog?

Depends on the area. Sometimes I feel uneasy on my own in secluded places, other times I feel fine. Depends what time of day it is, if I'm familiar with the place, if it's near a high-crime area etc.

I think if you live in a busy place and are used to a lot of people being around then it can be even more unsettling to be in a deserted place on your own. Whereas if you've always done it and it's what you know then you're more likely to be fine with it!

[quote Frickinfreezinginthishouse]@Ohalrightthen Just being in the middle of the woods with no one around and possible weirdos 🤷🏻‍♀️[/quote]
I totally understand this. As a teen -early 20’s it didn’t bother me at all but after children yes. I would always be thinking of the news headline. “Dog walkers found the body of.......” or I would wonder what I could grab if I was to be attacked.
Our dog has sadly gone now but there is a route I walk that is, in part, on a country road and even recently, as a white van came round the corner, I had a brief panic that DH wasn’t aware where I’d gone.

I don’t think there’s ever been a case of someone being attacked when with both a dog and a child out for a walk (there’s always a first time I know, but still)

Rachel Nickell. She often used to go through my mind if I was walking with my dog & young children

I always walk in same woods near my house with my two toddlers and dog. Never felt unsafe. Then a couple of weeks ago a man came really close to me and just stared at me then at my kids then back at me. It was really weird and the hair stood up on me, it felt sinister. I called my dog, who was off lead in the bush somewhere, he came bounding back and as soon as the man saw him he left.
I know this story is not going to help you feel safe but it really did make me reconsider. I now walk in much more public open areas, but I have that option.
In your instance I'd probably listen to your gut and avoid.

I think you are being a bit silly tbh.

No one can answer. Taking a walk through woods to the beach in an affluent area of Connecticut is not the same as an urban area of South Africa, for example...

In general if it’s a generally nice and safe area with no reason to believe weirdos would be there other than general anxiety, I’d definitely go. Even with dd and a dog. A dog makes you less likely to be hassled, as does a child to be honest as more likely any incident would go wrong/take longer. But realistically the chance of anything happening is probably zero so I wouldn’t be housebound just because of some fear of being without your DH.

yanbu. I’d probably feel the same as you

I would probably do it, but keep very alert and not have headphones in so I could hear what was going on around me.

I live in a city, and so wooded areas and parks are frequently used by drug dealers and the homeless population/people with drink and drug issues, plenty of people walking their dogs, jogging, walking, but you would be foolish not to recognize the more dodgy side and to run there, say, at night.

Your intuition is there for a reason. If you don’t feel safe don’t do it. I’m a confident person but I wouldn’t walk in an isolated area. I know the chances of something happening are very rare but I just wouldn’t take the risk.

in your county are you allowed to carry pepper spray if it makes you feel safer - or a walking stick of some kind ?

not saying you are at risk but it just might make you feel more relaxed ?

I sometimes feel perfectly at home in our local woods; other times I randomly feel very uneasy if it's just me and our oldish dog of a very stealable breed. I've never heard of anything untoward happening up there other than the occasional twat on an off-road motorbike, but someone on our local FB group recently asked about nice walks and these woods were suggested, but there was an immediate stream of responses saying 'Don't go there - they're haunted!'

Hi Op
Trust your instincts your gut reaction.
Its a primeval instinct,We have them to protect ourselves/warn us like a Alarm internal system.
Check out for personal safety advice on the internet.

The Suzy Lampath Trust
(It was set up because of that 1980s True crime unsoved case on crimwatch of single female estate Agent,who went to show a male client a particular house and her family never saw her ever again.

What breed of dog have you got then?
Can your dog be trained to attack bit a weirdo with bad intentions,if your dog thought you or your toddler were at possible harm?

It depends very much on where you live.
However, I always think the number of weirdos who would be prepared to attack a woman who is with a child and a dog must be vanishingly low (compared to the number who would attack a lone woman ).
How loud is your dog? I think a barky dog is more of a deterrent than a large slobbery Labrador.

It's completely understandable. As a woman there's always a potential threat and depending on where you are that threat could be quite real. I walk in the woods behind my house and used to feel nervous at the start but now I don't. Is your area generally quite safe/quiet? I live in quite a safe country (in so far as anywhere can really be safe!) so I always feel more secure here than when I lived in the UK (I lived in some fairly dodgy areas over there so perceived the threat as greater).

In my six years of living here and walking in the woods literally nothing has happened to anyone that I've heard of.

I always think about Lin, Megan and Jodie Russell in these cases
3 of them and a dog in an area they had been plenty of times
It’s incredibly rare that something like that happens and you are probably perfectly safe in those woods OP but a PP said there had never been someone attacked and killed with their dog
No need to hide in our houses but if you feel uneasy about doing something then don’t

It’s the Suzy Lamplugh Trust that advises on personal safety, focussing on the workplace but possibly some useful tips anyway

@SnakesandKnives

I’ve thought of carrying a small hairspray in my pocket or something as I used to do as a teen walking home at night, is that ridiculous? No! Whether it would be particularly useful is another matter but I can’t see why it’s a bad idea. That said - and I’m not trying to undermine what you feel - but weirdos really are very very rare. Also I don’t think there’s ever been a case of someone being attacked when with both a dog and a child out for a walk (there’s always a first time I know, but still).

I was recently out on the horse and these two hulking teens came walking up the bridleway - one with his hood up and the other just huge and looking moody. Took one look at the horse and the big one jumped up the bank and hid behind a tree. His mate was laughing so much he nearly fell over. We chatted and they were both delightful and nothing like their initial appearance. Just saying.

There are quite a few cases of women being attacked whilst out with a child and a dog - the murder of Rachel Nickell perhaps being the most famous, but what’s interesting with that case is that it wasn’t some secluded woods - it was busy Wimbledon common in broad daylight with lots of people about. My point being is that there will always be horrible weirdos. But as much as possible we shouldn’t change our lives because of them because in the grand scheme of things they’re fairly rare and could strike anywhere.

I feel uneasy walking alone in deserted places with just DC, tbh. Like PP, I think of Lin Russell and her daughters. Obviously things like that are vanishingly rare, and I know statistically I’m very unlikely to meet someone sinister! I shouldn’t let it bother me but it does.

@SnakesandKnives

I’ve thought of carrying a small hairspray in my pocket or something as I used to do as a teen walking home at night, is that ridiculous? No! Whether it would be particularly useful is another matter but I can’t see why it’s a bad idea. That said - and I’m not trying to undermine what you feel - but weirdos really are very very rare. Also I don’t think there’s ever been a case of someone being attacked when with both a dog and a child out for a walk (there’s always a first time I know, but still).

I was recently out on the horse and these two hulking teens came walking up the bridleway - one with his hood up and the other just huge and looking moody. Took one look at the horse and the big one jumped up the bank and hid behind a tree. His mate was laughing so much he nearly fell over. We chatted and they were both delightful and nothing like their initial appearance. Just saying.

This made me think about Rachel Nickell, but these attacks are very very rare.

@Hyperion100

Train your dog to attack on command

Christ, why on earth would you do that?

I go with my gut at all times, really. I used to work in a cmht, lone visiting means you get really really good at paying attention to your instincts and all the little bits of information you constantly pick up and, mostly unconsciously, assess. If I feel safe, fine, if for whatever reason I don't, I have nothing to prove to anyone and act accordingly.

My DH is often exasperated by what he sees as me taking stupid risks, because generally I am happy to be out and about alone in most settings and at most times, but conversely does not understand on other occasions when I have felt afraid and not done something. It's a personal decision and if you don't feel safe, you don't feel safe.

Though I’d be less uneasy if I had a dog that looked like this:

I dont understand the problem. I'm a single parent. I've been a single parent since my kids were 18 months and 6 weeks old. What do you think simple parents do? Honestly, the hysterical fear on this forum is ridiculous.

Can you do some things to reassure yourself? Have your phone unlocked and ready, or chat to someone as you walk, or get a rape alarm or similar...or if its the woods you don't like, could you drive a bit to get to the beach? Im guessing you'd feel a bit safer out in the open?

*single

Or one of these kind of things to suggest your dog is a psycho hound!
www.amazon.co.uk/CAUTION-Approach-Harness-PREVENTS-Accidents/dp/B00BY9FOG6/ref=sr_1_14?dchild=1&keywords=dangerous+dog+warning+coat&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1610379998&sr=8-14