Spending ££ to celebrate my child's birthday at nursery

[Birthdayrushfaff]

My child turns 3 this week and his nursery have said they will mark the occasion with him on Tuesday (his birthday is Thursday but he won't be in nursery on the day)

I assumed this would just mean me sending him in with a cake and they'd all sing happy birthday and share said cake.

He's on the spectrum and doesn't like fuss. Hated the Christmas party.

My gut told me to get confirmation that was all they were expecting me to send so I sent a text and got a reply today.

It turns out they want me to bring

A banner
Poppers
Cake
Hats for all
Party bags for all of the kids to take home
Balloons
Crisps for all
Drinks for all

The full shebang.

I could try to source all of the above (the party bags being the most daunting, nowhere is open!) but I feel a bit put out if I'm honest.

Is this the norm?

AIBU?

@AbbeyBelfast

This is pretty standard, any birthday my child has had whilst in nursery and preschool has been just like this.

At the end of the day they are trying to make a fuss of YOUR child, to make him and the other kids happy and have a bit of fun during a pretty horrible time.

I find it entitled and frankly bizarre you would feel "put out" that people who care for your child are going out the way to make his birthday special.

Is this a joke?

They aren’t doing anything to celebrate the birthday. They are asking OP to do it😂

It seems OTT.

I'm back from the shop, I bought the birthday supplies alongside my usual food shop so didn't need to venture out again especially.

I've bought a cake, party hats, balloons and a multi pack of haribo with enough to go around.

I let the nursery know via WhatsApp what I've bought (they are casual like that, we often exchange messages on a weekend regarding the week ahead) and said I'm not able to source the party bags at short notice and DS won't want a big fuss.

I have now been asked to provide paper cups, you couldn't make it up could you?

why do they need paper cups. do the children not drink at nursery?

Have never known a nursery to ask you to provide stuff like that.

I'd feel they were using your DS birthday as an "entertainment theme" that you are paying for as apposed to them having to source the item's

The children use plastic cups at nursery, they have their own labled one that they keep at nursery. Some parents also send their DC in with their own bottle from home.

No idea why they want paper cups

Reply ‘no sorry, I can’t go to the shops for non essentials’

I certainly won't be going back out for paper cups, that's my shopping done now until next weekend and I'll tell them that.

We are not letting children bring in anything for other children at my school, especially not food items. We did let them bring Christmas cards for each but took them off them and quarantined them for 72hrs before they went in bags.

Pre-school policy seems lax.

No thanks. You shouldn’t be sharing anyway.

That's pretty full on, if you think your child wouldn't enjoy it just say no thank you.

I've made it clear that DS won't cope with loud singing/music/poppers and all that jazz.

I do think it's sweet that they want to make a fuss given the fact the kids can't have parties at home, but if party bags etc are something that is expected then I would have appreciated them letting me know in advance. If it hadn't been sprung on me with 2 days notice I probably wouldn't have minded as much.

I was a bit at them wanting me to provide crisps, drinks etc.

Then the paper cups!

Madness.

I'm reassured by the poll, that I'm not BU to think it was all a bit much.

Thanks all

Last thing I'd want is food sharing and would have declined the bag anyway as they clearly aren't quarantining.

If your son wouldn't like this (mine is ASD and couldn't cope) why do this? Low key with cake is fine!

This is not the norm. You are their client. Just say no thanks to the party.

With our children we will do a cake and candles - if parents send one in - and sing happy birthday and talk about what they got as presents etc. If a parent doesn't send in a cake we will make a playdough cake with candles and sing happy birthday. We don't expect the parent to send anything but will make the most of what they do send. Either way, we acknowledge the child's birthday with their friends.

Maybe one of the workers are having their own kids party and need the supplies. Crazy to expect you to provide all that.