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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not have eaten the meal DP cooked for us?

224 replies

NameofTheWind · 09/01/2021 18:12

For context: DP will eat pretty much anything, he's more of a quantity over quality type and open admits that fancy food is largely wasted on him. He would choose a larger, normal cut of steak over filet, for example.
I'll eat most things, but am a bit of a foodie so get excited about a good meal.

DP's cooking style could be described as... "pot luck dining" - if it's in the fridge, it's in the pan. Most of the time it's vaguely edible, if a bit eclectic.

Today he decided on curry - Jar of sauce, chicken and maybe some onion and pepper... Or so I thought.

I've just been presented with a curry comprising of chicken, sauce, onion, pepper... Courgette chunks, sweetcorn and button mushrooms.

The sauce has turned to coloured curryish flavour water because of all the veg, and something has happened to the chicken to make it indistinguishable from the mushrooms.

I made a really valiant effort to eat it but its so grim Blush

I've had to admit defeat and DP has obviously noticed. He's such a lovely man and I feel like such a cow, but this is a terrible meal right??

OP posts:
HappyTimeTunnelDinosaur · 09/01/2021 18:16

How has it been made worse by the addition of veg? YABU.

ComtesseDeSpair · 09/01/2021 18:18

I think it’s fine to tell him that it wasn’t great and you didn't like it. Unless you’re constantly criticising his cooking, it just makes sense to tell someone if they did a bad job of cooking something so that hey don’t do it again.

Does he enjoy cooking? If he does then what about encouraging him to follow a couple of recipes? It doesn’t have to be fancy foodie stuff, he could have made a really good curry out of chicken, veg and spices with little more effort than the one he actually made, by following a recipe. If he doesn’t enjoy cooking, and you don’t much like eating what he does cook, then perhaps cooking is “your” chore and he gets something else instead like laundry or vacuuming?

Original poster
NameofTheWind · 09/01/2021 18:18

@HappyTimeTunnelDinosaur

How has it been made worse by the addition of veg? YABU.
Courgette, sweetcorn and mushrooms in a curry? I'd have thought onion and pepper was enough Confused
OP posts:
Michaelbaubles · 09/01/2021 18:19

I suppose it depends how it’s cooked - we often have loads of veg in a curry. It’s a great way of using up odd ends. I love getting a biriyani from the takeaway and finding random veg in the curry bit! There were sprouts once, and I was delighted.

BrieAndChilli · 09/01/2021 18:19

I put mushrooms and courgettes in curry all the time! Maybe not sweetcorn but it wouldn’t be a dealbreaker for me.

QuestionableMouse · 09/01/2021 18:21

They're quite wet veg though and if it hasn't been done right I can see how it might be off-putting.

Alternista · 09/01/2021 18:21

I frequently cook veg curries including all sorts including courgette and mushrooms and they’re lush... but equally I have a DP who can ruin the simplest of recipes so I hear you!

Poppins2016 · 09/01/2021 18:21

I'm intrigued to know why the majority so far think you're being unreasonable!

I would feel the same as you, OP. My DH and I communicate if we're going to make any major changes to a popular recipe because we like to know that we're getting the meal (or taste) that we're expecting!

AaronPurr · 09/01/2021 18:21

I'm another who adds leftover, and random oddments of veg to a curry. If it was badly cooked then I could possibly understand, but it's not a bad meal just because he added extra veg.

Original poster
NameofTheWind · 09/01/2021 18:21

@ComtesseDeSpair

I think it’s fine to tell him that it wasn’t great and you didn't like it. Unless you’re constantly criticising his cooking, it just makes sense to tell someone if they did a bad job of cooking something so that hey don’t do it again.

Does he enjoy cooking? If he does then what about encouraging him to follow a couple of recipes? It doesn’t have to be fancy foodie stuff, he could have made a really good curry out of chicken, veg and spices with little more effort than the one he actually made, by following a recipe. If he doesn’t enjoy cooking, and you don’t much like eating what he does cook, then perhaps cooking is “your” chore and he gets something else instead like laundry or vacuuming?

Sadly we're both ambivalent to cooking. That's why it's evenly split.
OP posts:
Coffeeandaride · 09/01/2021 18:21

I put loads of veg in curry, I’m a bit like your DP!

ShrikeAttack · 09/01/2021 18:22

I presume threw them in the sauce instead of cooking them down to reduce the liquid in them. I wouldn't eat it OP, I'm not fussy in terms of foods I eat, but I am fussy about not eating crap cooking!

I wouldn't eat a jarred curry sauce tbh, so I certainly wouldn't eat a horribly executed one!

ComtesseDeSpair · 09/01/2021 18:23

I don’t think the OP is saying that it was bad curry because it had lots of vegetables in it - more that he didn’t follow a recipe or cook it off properly so that the vegetables essentially just boiled in the liquid sauce and made it watery and tasteless.

Hoppinggreen · 09/01/2021 18:23

I wouldn’t eat it if it was from a jar
If you are used to proper curry with roasted spices etc then jar sauce is awful.

Festivecheer26 · 09/01/2021 18:24

I don’t cook so would normally just eat what I’m given and not comment but one night I was presented with chicken curry and macaroni pasta as we’d unexpectedly run out of rice. I tried but couldn’t eat it, sometimes you just can’t force yourself!

Hoppinggreen · 09/01/2021 18:24

But I do eat lots of vegetable curries

Badwill · 09/01/2021 18:24

It will have tasted no different - curry sauce is so strong that's all you would have tasted? Unless you have sensory issues and the texture was awful then fair enough but you could have just picked the mushrooms out and put them to the side of whatever.

Original poster
NameofTheWind · 09/01/2021 18:24

It was sort of more like curry flavoured chunky vegetable soup... With chicken bits and rice. I love veg, so that wasn't the problem so much as the final product

OP posts:
ApolloandDaphne · 09/01/2021 18:24

My DH is making a biryani right now. It has carrots, green beans, courgettes, broccoli and cauliflower in it. It smells lovely. I love lots of veg in a curry.

HaveeeeYouMetTed · 09/01/2021 18:24

YABU. Mushrooms in a curry are delicious. Why didn't you just pick out the additional veg you didn't want in the dish & eat the rest?

ShrikeAttack · 09/01/2021 18:24

I'm being a bit mean, I would eat a jar of sauce if somebody fed it to me. I'm not a monster.

Original poster
NameofTheWind · 09/01/2021 18:25

@ComtesseDeSpair

I don’t think the OP is saying that it was bad curry because it had lots of vegetables in it - more that he didn’t follow a recipe or cook it off properly so that the vegetables essentially just boiled in the liquid sauce and made it watery and tasteless.
Yes, this is a much better summary!
OP posts:
Original poster
NameofTheWind · 09/01/2021 18:26

@HaveeeeYouMetTed

YABU. Mushrooms in a curry are delicious. Why didn't you just pick out the additional veg you didn't want in the dish & eat the rest?
Because that would have left rubbery chicken in curry water
OP posts:
Casmama · 09/01/2021 18:26

I don't think I would have eaten that either. I agree with Shrike that it sounds like the veg wasn't cooked properly. I don't really like curry sauces from jars either but presumably if it was in the house then normally you would be happy to eat it.

ShrikeAttack · 09/01/2021 18:27

Many years ago a bloke I'd just started seeing asked me to his and said he'd cook me a curry. I was looking forward to it and was really pleased he was into cooking as I'm a really keen cook.

He made me chicken korma. From a jar.

The relationship did not progress.