Lottery Win. AIBU.

[NotMyCircusNotMyProblem]

*Lighthearted... kinda...
OH has just purchased a new TV. He didn't tell me and we didn't need a new TV. I don't really watch much tv though so obviously, it wouldn't be a priority buy for me but, thinking back, he had been hinting at this purchase for a while.

Anyway, I decided to (in a lighthearted way) question him on why he made this purchase 'behind my back' and where exactly did he get the money from. He was playing along and said he was using his birthday and Christmas money but, then it transpired that he'd had not one but TWO lottery wins (not huge wins - £110 and £140) and he was also using that.

This irritated me, we do the lottery together so the winnings belong to both of us. I pointed this out to him but what annoyed me most was that he didn't tell me. I would have told him, I wouldn't have kept it secret.

He did eventually apologise but... the damage is done. Can I ever trust him again??

So, what to do. Do I graciously accept the apology and get on with life. The tv has a cracking picture quality btw
OR, do I cut my losses now and ltb?

Change the settings in the lottery account so the winning notifications go to your email.

There was a bloke who won a mill or two and kept it from his wife and divorced her... she found out afterwards and he had to give her half as they'd been married at time of winning...
You worried he might do that?????

oh, and LTB.

Mmmmm that is very cheeky. 😂😂😂

Ltb! And take the tv 😜

You’ll get half the TV if you divorce him. Go for it.

So he hasnt told you about rhe winnings as he knows you would then want your half to spend on what you wish. Instead he has greedily kept it all to himself to fulfil his own desire for a new tv - which he knew you wouldnt agree to. It may seem like a small thing but that is really greedy, selfish and deceitful behaviour IMO and id be really worried about what else he lies about, or lies by omission. Its not really the sign of a great relationship or 'what's mine is yours'.

*or in this case, what's ours is ours

I know you say this is lighthearted but I would be so pissed off that he unilaterally decided what to spend the money on! Obviously in a relationship there's give and take, and he shouldn't transfer you exactly your share of £125, less any transaction charges, with the docket signed by both parties in front of witnesses, but really, why did he think that was ok?

Yabu to trust the amount he told you was the actual amount...

I think YABU. I think we all need the autonomy sometimes to buy stuff without having to "ask permission" from the other partner.

I'd be annoyed if I went halves with DP on the lottery, we won several hundred pounds, and he didn't mention it. Not only that, but decided to spend the money on whatever he wanted. I also wouldn't like it if he made an expensive purchase like a TV without asking me about it first.

But we're not very well off right now, so all purchases need to be considered. I guess if we had more money, it wouldn't mean quite as much to me.

I know there are quite a few replies here just taking the piss and making a bit of a joke about it, but it's just wrong for him not to tell you about those wins when they happened, and I would genuinely worry about what would happen if a larger win ever happened.

@Lockdownlovernotfromliverpool

Yabu to trust the amount he told you was the actual amount...

Oooh bloody good point! Can you check the lottery account OP?

I'd be pretty damn cross if my dp did that! Should be a joint decision what to spend the money on.

I’ve had a similar experience OP when my H bought a very expensive TV, just think yourself lucky that he didn’t spend a lot more. You can either swallow or ask for your half of the money, but if you do, make sure that you never, ever, so much as glance in the direction of that TV.

You do the lottery together yet he didn't share the winnings with you?

Next winnings up to the value of these are yours to do with as you wish. Ideally something he wouldn't want or consider important

Do you actually play the lottery together as in you split the cost of the tickets and have access to the same account, or do you assume you "play the lottery together" because you're a couple?

It's unclear if you're married or not.

Id be extremely pissed off if my DH didn’t tell me he’d won over £100 on the lottery. That’s the issue, not him buying a TV.

Lying by omission.

He's a sneaky bastard.

Seriously? Someone wins a couple of hundred pounds on the lottery and HAS to tell the partner and HAS to refrain from spending it. Sounds like financial abuse to me.....

Fucking controlling or what.

You also say that "he'd" had two wins, not that you had.

Is he the one which actually plays and you just assume you'll get half?

If you're married that's not an unfair assumption.

@BargainCunt

Seriously? Someone wins a couple of hundred pounds on the lottery and HAS to tell the partner and HAS to refrain from spending it. Sounds like financial abuse to me.....

Fucking controlling or what.

WTF? They play the lottery together this means they lose or win together.

Bargaincunt the OP clearly states they do the lottery together and the winnings are supposed to be shared. Re-read the OP.

Seriously? Someone wins a couple of hundred pounds on the lottery and HAS to tell the partner and HAS to refrain from spending it. Sounds like financial abuse to me.....

Fucking controlling or what.

It's something they do jointly. So, yes. HAS to. Because it was half hers.

@Robbybobtail

Bargaincunt the OP clearly states they do the lottery together and the winnings are supposed to be shared. Re-read the OP.

She also said that he'd had two wins, not that they had.

We need more details on what playing the lottery together actually means. Maybe they do have a shared account and put equal money in, maybe OP just assumes they play it together because they're a a couple even though it's her OH that's actually playing.