To defend my kids over noise given lockdown restrictions?

[Needsomegoodies]

We live in a terraced house, with wooden floors, so I appreciate noise carries. My children are not ‘naturally quiet’ and can be quite active and yes, sometimes they drive me mad thumping but only ever briefly, they are always asked to quieten down and consider the neighbours and are just regular excitable children. They are excellent sleepers so make no noise between 8pm and 8am and we’ve lived in our house since before the kids and no one has ever complained. Both my husband and I are WFH and home schooling the children, 8 and 5, which is hard. I spent the morning working with my little one to get her school work done at the expense of my own work while the older one worked online. I then took them both out for a walk for an hour at lunchtime to burn off some energy, then tried to juggle the afternoon working, helping older child finish school stuff, while 5 yo did colouring and played a quiet game alone. At about 5pm they were given permission to chill out and watch tv so I could get on with some work and DH went to shops to get stuff for dinner. They were quiet to start with but then started playing a game and jumping. After about 10 mins I went in and asked them to stop (which they did for all of 3 mins..) and after another 10 mins there was hammering on my front door and new (moved in just before Christmas) neighbour stated ranting at me about ‘excessive noise that was constant and relentless’ when they were trying to work. I explained that although the kids had been noisy right then, they’d been quiet most of the day and he claimed, no it’s constant and you need to stop the noise. I explained the challenges we are all facing and that it’s hard on the children but he seems to think they still shouldn’t be jumping around or making noise. At the end of the day. During a lockdown. His daughter of about 20 then joined him claiming she understood its hard as she’s young too but I replied no, she’s not 5, she has no idea. The kids are stuck at home and can’t see their friends so surely they can’t be begrudged some active play with a sibling from time to time, even if it’s a bit noisy?!

I’m massively stressed and exhausted and this has upset me but I don’t think I’m in the wrong here.

Or AIBU?

Can I also suggest that if you/Dh go to the shop you take one of them (ideally the most lively) kids tend to be quieter alone

I live in a terrace next door to very noisy kids. I also WFH half the week, soon to be more.

The noise is affecting my mental health badly, yet I don't feel I can go and speak to them because they'll react like you have.

@Vitaminsss

Not to be nasty, but how does lockdown impact a 5 year old? Presumably their lives are pretty similar to normal as they’re not at school

Strange comment. 5 year olds have started school. And even my 3 year old has been impacted by lockdown. No play dates, no soft play, no play cafes, and most importantly no seeing family. It's made a huge difference to her little life. As hard as we try to keep things normal and entertain her with park trips and woodland walk after bloody woodland walk, she knows she's missing things. 5 year olds would be even more aware.

oakleaffy The poor pup!

I pity her neighbours, too.

Feel like you're getting a hard time OP. It's really hard trying to manage wfh and home schooling and it sounds like you've got a good mix trying to include quiet learning and activities and exercise at lunchtime. You need to get your work done too so leaving the kids to their own devices at some point is inevitable.

I'm sick of everyone saying it's only a little noise I'm trying to sleep yet can't cause neighbours daughter is getting banged by her boyfriend whole she's fuck knows where .fuck that were on a lockdown my dog will get out at 7 and can make as much noise as she likes . getting your hole is not a fucking essential I'm so pissed off with its all .sounds horrible I hope they get covid .he is a be plumper so will be in lots of houses fuck this for a carry on we are sticking to rules but they are no getting ly in post shag selfish fuckers

@oakleaffy

Poor door, I have a working bred collie and they need a decent garden as a minimum plus walks (not as far as you might think but the ball thrower is key). Mine is fine being left btw, if anything looked relieved after each school holiday.

I don’t understand why your children are making so much noise if you are telling them not to. Who’s in charge?

YABU, there’s nothing as soul destroying as thumping screeching kids

Fk them stop pandering were all having a bad time Last thing you need is to keep them happy x

They're louder than you think and the neighbours may be at the end of their tether.

My neighbours are noisy fuckers, dragging chairs round on the laminate flooring for hours on end (that's what it sounds like) and children thundering up and down the stairs. They just shrug but frankly? i want to slap them to oblivion because it isn't easy having conference calls all day with that in the background.

YABU - why are you letting your kids get away with being noisy 3 minutes after you told them not to be. The blatant disobedience is a bigger issue than the noise. Teach them to do what you tell them

And your neighbours very probably are working from home too, so YABU to allow your children to be disruptive to others

You can't stop small kids making anoise our neighbours don't care cad long as they can get pissed and fuck their boyfriends they don't care I missed our nephew birthday as don't want to take the risk of seeing him in case of any risk I'm so fucking sick of of how our neighbours are being she is a carer rules don't apply to her or her daughters

carpet - what's wrong with carpet these days? I hate cold wooden floors - splinters in feet? Neighbours downstairs have a kid to stay at weekends and all we can hear is thump thump thump like an elephant up and down the hallway which drives me insane! -the kid sounds like its got hobnail boots on!

It sounds like you are having a hard time, and so are the neighbours. I think you need to do all you can to reduce the noise as much as you reasonably can- it sounds like with your children being quiet for three minutes that it would be useful to extend this, for your own sake and the neighbours. I totally get your feeling of children being in a difficult situation in lockdown, though this is also the case with the neighbour, being at home most of time now and being exposed to the noise. And tensions will generally be high for both parties in these times. It is tough, and I hope things improve for you.

I agree that no one is really being unreasonable, it’s just another consequence of the pandemic. I live in an old apartment building and a family with a baby and toddler have just moved in below me. The toddler runs around constantly for an hour every morning and afternoon and the vibrations sound like an elephant is running a marathon. It’s so frustrating but I remind myself how hard it must be to keep two small children happy in an apartment, and that it’s not her fault I am here all day working from home (normally I’d be out so wouldn’t care how many elephants were down there). It’s a shame they couldn’t be a little kinder (but lock down cabin fever can cause a lack of patience), but I wouldn’t take it to heart. You’re doing your best and we’re just all a little more on top of our neighbours than we’d like. It won’t last forever.

It’s tough for everyone, noise from kids can be intolerable if they’re not your own, especially if you’re trying to work.
Kids need to play too - does your house have a garden they can play in?
A blogger I follow has put down a really sturdy foam play mat area for her kids to play on to reduce noise and it looked like an excellent idea. Might be worth a look online for similar if your kids want to play running/jumping inside

@Fredshred

I agree that no one is really being unreasonable, it’s just another consequence of the pandemic. I live in an old apartment building and a family with a baby and toddler have just moved in below me. The toddler runs around constantly for an hour every morning and afternoon and the vibrations sound like an elephant is running a marathon. It’s so frustrating but I remind myself how hard it must be to keep two small children happy in an apartment, and that it’s not her fault I am here all day working from home (normally I’d be out so wouldn’t care how many elephants were down there). It’s a shame they couldn’t be a little kinder (but lock down cabin fever can cause a lack of patience), but I wouldn’t take it to heart. You’re doing your best and we’re just all a little more on top of our neighbours than we’d like. It won’t last forever.

this is not a pandemic consequence at all... it's a lifestyle living choice ... choosing wooden flooring for an upstairs apartment/flat when you have kids and neighbours.. is not ideal ... despite having the best of intentions ... there is always a good chance of noise problems 🌺

@Grandfather

Fk them stop pandering were all having a bad time Last thing you need is to keep them happy x

Are you always this inconsiderate and selfish? That is a horrible attitude.

You cant expect other people to ignore that type of noise, day in- day out if they are WFH, have deadlines etc or simply want peaceful enjoyment of their own home-Your2 are banging around on wooden boards-urgghh.Put some rugs down already!Just my opinion but YADBU

Honestly, I think you are being a bit unreasonable. We live in a flat, the people downstairs have 4 kids in a 2 bedroom flat - it is SO noisy!
My husband has to work from home right now, how is he supposed to concentrate and do a good job when the neigbour's kids are constantly banging doors and radiators, screaming, crying and everything in between?
Yes, it's annoying that you're being moaned at - but listening to noise from other people and their kids all day is bloody exhausting. It was bad enough before lockdown, and during the first and second lockdown but now it is unbearable and I'd love it if our neighbours understood just how much noise travels.
It doesn't help that the mum constantly shouts at the kids too (probably just be heard over their bloody noise!

I think from your post you know they are noisy. Nobody having complained before means nothing. Most people don’t complain about noise to their neighbours unless it’s intolerable. Many people (me included hate conflict and confrontation). Neighbours will usually either be nice (in which case you don’t want to ruin the relationship) or not approachable / aggressive which is not ideal either. Plenty of put up with neighbour issues without saying anything,

I reckon there's going to be an epidemic of neighbourly feuds after this.

My neighbours have two small kids, and I'm usually out in the daytime so haven't ever noticed the noise to a disruptive degree, but now WFH the little elephant feet and shouting is RELENTLESS. All. Day. Driving me bonkers. But kids are kids. Wish they'd bloody wrap them up and take them for a walk now and again though 🙄

YANBU OP but unfortunately for you, this is MN, and therefore your children should be sitting quietly with thier legs crossed between the hours of 8am-7pm.

I once got told on a similar thread that I should never had bought a flat because I was selfish, despite it being all we could afford in the area we needed for DPs work.

Your neighbour is probably not used to the noise but there is literally nothing you can do. These are not usual circumstances and it sounds like your trying your best.

Other people's noise is no fun at all. Particularly that intermittent thudding and squealing and shouting of children at play. I'd be massively conscious of it.