To think its male entitlement to use your smartphone on the bog

[CrotchBurn]

DP takes phone into the bathroom for his morning dump which usually lasts about 20 min.

Because it's the morning, I've had coffee and water obviously, maybe once every three mornings I REALLY need to go for a wee but cant because hes pissing around having a slow motion shit while watching YouTube videos or whatever he does on there.

I'm not asking for solutions because I know what those are. I just think it would never occur to me to have a 20 minute dump in the morning when theres only one toilet. As in it would just always be at the back of my mind that theres another person here who might also need to use the toilet.

I'm sure I'll have loads of cool girl posters waxing lyrical about their morning rituals but honestly back on planet reality I've only seen men do this

As an aside I dont understand why you would want to sit in your own fumes for 20 min, unless it's a 20 min build up to the "big event"

Urgh. A friend of mine caught her partner looking at porn on the toilet and he used to take his laptop in! You couldn't make it up.

Yanbu about how long men take to have a shit. Its fucking ridiculous, I can only assume it's due to a crap diet with nowhere near enough dietary fibre.

But yabu about smart phone in the bog. My downstairs loo has the best radiator per sq m of room ratio in the house, which makes it a bloody comfy place to sit when its -3 outside.

Also theres something quite cosy and private about sitting in a very small space and a lot of people basically like it.

@Treacletoots
Yeah I read a thread on here about a DP who in the evenings would take a few beers and sit there drinking and smoking whilst at it 🤷‍♀️ Small mercies eh...

I read that one OP. That's a step too far.

I can justify 5-7mins of sitting in the warm unnecessarily but when you are there more than 10 mins it's not on.

It is mostly men who do this, I agree. But there are plenty of women who occupy the bathroom for a different reason, so it’s entitlement and rudeness across both sexes, rather than a gendered thing.

A few months ago DP arrived home to a quiet flat. DS was napping and I was sitting in his room relaxing and browsing on my phone. The bathroom door was shut (we only have one toilet) to keep DS from crawling in and DP assumed I was in there, on the loo... He held on for about 45 minutes until DS woke and he heard me talking to him! Bizarre.

I actually started getting up 10 mins before his alarm went off and sat on the toilet with my phone and said I was constipated..... After a couple days of whining he accepted hogging the toilet for 40 mins (twice a day) was unacceptable. He now sets his alarm earlier.

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland
In all fairness I dont feel the same way, but I see where you're coming from with the warmth, small space etc. I do get it. It's more the amount of time I find inconsiderate.

At Christmas I was at my parents house and my mum must have been upstairs taking her make up off in the upstairs bathroom. I was about to brush my teeth and go to bed when my dad came down the stairs with a fucking NEWSPAPER and went into the downstairs! And stayed there for 15 minutes or so. It's just like... Like I say, I would be thinking "shit I should make this quick someone else might need it"

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland
Again I agree with you: 5 minutes, its understandable

@DisgruntledPelican
That's actually very sweet that he didnt even knock or anything 😊

I do it. I often spend a long time on the toilet.. not through choice , I might add.

DH alleges that he honestly isn't taking the piss when he is taking a crap - apparently it really does take that long to release all the relevant sphincters. If he gets interrupted after only 10 minutes by eg a child having a crisis or a knock at the door that I can't deal with, he has to give up and try again an hour or two later. "Up Tight" is an understatement.

I have ibs and take my phone because who knows how long things will take and I get bored. On occasion I've gotten distracted and DP has to knock and ask if I can wrap things up.

I think it's okay to take your time.
Obviously if you need to take your time, ie if you're constipated, you can't help it anyway.
But if he's using it for chill time, it's wrong of him to do it in the morning when the bathroom will be needed by other people.

This winds me up so much with my husband, what takes them so long? Even if he doesn’t take his phone in it’s still 20 minutes. I don’t understand it

I have never understood why men seem to take so much longer to poo.

My theory is that because they usually stand, a sit down trip is An Event and they somehow feel they must make the most of it. Whereas if you always sit you just deal with whatever pops out.

But YABU to think phones on the loo is a male thing. Teen girls do it as much or more

YANBU!

There is absolutely NO NEED to spend 20 minutes on the bog! Use it for the same amount of time as if you were using a public bog. Getting your phone out is gross, and the same goes with taking a book. It's the same as sharing a packet of crisps with others who haven't washed their hands - saw it on a documentary about hygiene (or lack of).

Please stop using. 'cool girl' for women who live their lives differently to you, in fact stop judging other women altogether and deal with the issue with your DP.

Do they pop at the beginning of the 20 minutes or at the end? Or just really slowly for the whole 20 minutes?
My DH does this, and I just don’t get it. He has to poo the same time every morning or he misses his ‘poo window’. He thinks it’s weird to poo anywhere but in your own home at The allotted time!

Maybe he's heard that horror story we've all heard at some in our lives about the guy who had a brain hemorrhage when he tried to push one out cos his doorbell went.

DH is the same. Either I sneak in before him for a wee or wander in and tell him to hurry up.

My oh always did this until one day the lock "accidentally " broke so now he can't have a shit in peace without 3 kids. The time spent sat on the loo has drastically reduced 😁

@GhostPenguin
Oh shit that first paragraph set me off 😂 /overtired

There’s a saying isn’t there? “There’s nothing so overrated as a bad fuck and nothing so underrated as a good shit”

It’s very true IMO.

I look forward to a good shit some days. This is what the world is coming to.

@EdithWeston

I have never understood why men seem to take so much longer to poo.

My theory is that because they usually stand, a sit down trip is An Event and they somehow feel they must make the most of it. Whereas if you always sit you just deal with whatever pops out.

But YABU to think phones on the loo is a male thing. Teen girls do it as much or more

Excellent theory. Probably something right in that. My teen brother (13yo) already takes a book in wtf?

I’ll be done in under 5mins but I’m not regular at all. Some days I don’t some days it’s 2-3 times. Perfectly normal for me. I suppose if you’re ‘regular’ down to the ritual of it then it makes sense but it is so bloody rude! All my exes were long poopers. One would have coffee whatever time of day and poop within 20minutes. Had to make him get up earlier to do his coffee and poop ritual and stop me being late for work!

@Witchcraftandhokum

Please stop using. 'cool girl' for women who live their lives differently to you, in fact stop judging other women altogether and deal with the issue with your DP.

Yep. It's just a preemptive 'don't you dare' to anyone else that may have a different opinion.

I almost always take my phone in to the loo but I don't spend too much time in there.