To think its male entitlement to use your smartphone on the bog

[CrotchBurn]

DP takes phone into the bathroom for his morning dump which usually lasts about 20 min.

Because it's the morning, I've had coffee and water obviously, maybe once every three mornings I REALLY need to go for a wee but cant because hes pissing around having a slow motion shit while watching YouTube videos or whatever he does on there.

I'm not asking for solutions because I know what those are. I just think it would never occur to me to have a 20 minute dump in the morning when theres only one toilet. As in it would just always be at the back of my mind that theres another person here who might also need to use the toilet.

I'm sure I'll have loads of cool girl posters waxing lyrical about their morning rituals but honestly back on planet reality I've only seen men do this

As an aside I dont understand why you would want to sit in your own fumes for 20 min, unless it's a 20 min build up to the "big event"

Everyone always says haha porn but my boyfriends did this before smartphones etc!

I think loads of men just take so ages to shit and have decided I've because they don't have such strong pushing muscles :D which sounds silly but I reckon makes sense.

The aspect of hiding away from family life/ when stuff needs doing comes into play as well I reckon.

Plus I think a lot of blokes are a bit funny about going at work and DH says he'll go for a 'try' rather than when he needs to... Which I find very odd!

I think it's revolting taking phones or books in there.

I suspect it's partly down to not so good diets.

I'm thankful I have a home where I'm not relying on the the toilet for a comfortable place to sit 🤣

I go to the toilet when I feel ready 'to go'. I'm in and out quickly at roughly the same point of the day each day.

Cannot understand toilet sitters (unless occasionally unwell)

I generally don't really get the need to sit on the loo for 20 mins but YABU if you can't wait 20 mins for someone to use the bathroom

I take it neither of you sits in the bath to unwind?

Mine can take 40...

And judging by the noises and the aroma from the poorly fitted door, be is definitely shitting!

Agree with PP. Stop sniping at other women who don't fit your weird hypotheses as 'cool girls' and use your words to discuss with your husband that you'd like him to spend less time in the bathroom cos you want him to help with X or Y. Or even, quite reasonably, that you shouldn't have to spell out what X or Y are and that if he knows there's stuff that needs doing, he can use his brain to decide when he can have a leisurely poo or not. No issue with that.

However, I can easily spend 20 min scrolling Twitter after I've finished having a piss even. Glad I'm a Cool Girl 😏 and if my OH needed the bathroom he'd just... Come in and tell me to hurry up instead of standing outside seething that he needs the bathroom? Amazing how communication works.

I don't get this thing with spending ages on the lloo. I have mild ibs and have side effects from the medication I take and I'm vegetarian so eat loads of veg. I poo several times a day and it's always quick. Iight have a little sit for a few mins but I think my legs and arse would hurt if I sat there for 20 min. It is selfish.

100% male entitlement. They're doing it to avoid kids/wife/cleaning/chores.

Because I bet they don't do it at work when the boss is around.

Surely you don't get on the loo until the pop is ready so why do men need time to get everything 'lined up'! How weird . I'm glad we have 4 toilets!

It happened long before phones - my DF used to say, ‘I am going to commune with my soul,’ before disappearing with the paper for 20 minutes. No joke given 6 of us in a house with only one loo.

IMO it’s a primeval male-animal thing - spending ages = more time to spread their scent (aka stinking the place out) - which in animal terms = marking their territory.

@TrickorTreacle

YANBU!

There is absolutely NO NEED to spend 20 minutes on the bog! Use it for the same amount of time as if you were using a public bog. Getting your phone out is gross, and the same goes with taking a book. It's the same as sharing a packet of crisps with others who haven't washed their hands - saw it on a documentary about hygiene (or lack of).

You clearly don't have ibs

The cool girl/wife thing pisses me off so much. Apparently being laid back and not freaking out over inconsequential trivia is unreasonable on MN. Go in and have a wee before him. Problem solved.

@VinylDetective

The cool girl/wife thing pisses me off so much. Apparently being laid back and not freaking out over inconsequential trivia is unreasonable on MN. Go in and have a wee before him. Problem solved.

👏

My Dh does this at least twice a day. For at least 20-30 mins. Usually just at the time when it's time to brush teeth / get kids dressed etc. There is absolutely no physical reason for men to take any longer than women. I think they just use it as me time.

My husband house bowel issues so no not unreasonable.

And when it,s the wrong tome of the month, I find it can take me alittle while as well spo not always a mans issue.

I can definitely spend 20 mins in the bathroom of a morning (thanks IBS) but we have three loos. I agree it’s selfish in a house with one loo.

[quote CrotchBurn]@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland
In all fairness I dont feel the same way, but I see where you're coming from with the warmth, small space etc. I do get it. It's more the amount of time I find inconsiderate.

At Christmas I was at my parents house and my mum must have been upstairs taking her make up off in the upstairs bathroom. I was about to brush my teeth and go to bed when my dad came down the stairs with a fucking NEWSPAPER and went into the downstairs! And stayed there for 15 minutes or so. It's just like... Like I say, I would be thinking "shit I should make this quick someone else might need it"[/quote]
Ooh naughty naughty breaking the rules!

That is normal. Go use it before he does. You know his routine.

@TrickorTreacle

YANBU!

There is absolutely NO NEED to spend 20 minutes on the bog! Use it for the same amount of time as if you were using a public bog. Getting your phone out is gross, and the same goes with taking a book. It's the same as sharing a packet of crisps with others who haven't washed their hands - saw it on a documentary about hygiene (or lack of).

You don't have Ehlers-Danos Syndrome or POTS, then?

Lucky you.

The phrase “cool girl” is SO fucking annoying when it actually means “someone who is 2% more relaxed than I am which means this stuff wouldn’t bother them as much”

Interesting!

Usually on man-shit threads there's a lot of agreement.

You must have hit a bum note OP

What are these people eating???????

My DH pisses me off as I think he performance pops . Always seems to be in the toilet closest to me . However if he took 20 mins I'd be demanding to know if he needed a doctor

I normally check Mumsnet or Reddit while I'm in the loo, use it like a lil break, didn't realise so many people didn't.

I think this is one of the most pathetic threads I've read on MN - absolutely pathetic. Timing anyone's crap is ridiculous - having something to do because it takes as long as it does is clever imo.
How long it takes is no-one's business and out of your control.
Either get another toilet fitted, or else go before he does.
Good grief!!!!

I have IBS and spend this amount of time and longer on the toilet. I’m glad my dh isn’t a nob about it. We do have more than one toilet though thankfully.