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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think its male entitlement to use your smartphone on the bog

101 replies

CrotchBurn · 08/01/2021 19:24

DP takes phone into the bathroom for his morning dump which usually lasts about 20 min.

Because it's the morning, I've had coffee and water obviously, maybe once every three mornings I REALLY need to go for a wee but cant because hes pissing around having a slow motion shit while watching YouTube videos or whatever he does on there.

I'm not asking for solutions because I know what those are. I just think it would never occur to me to have a 20 minute dump in the morning when theres only one toilet. As in it would just always be at the back of my mind that theres another person here who might also need to use the toilet.

I'm sure I'll have loads of cool girl posters waxing lyrical about their morning rituals but honestly back on planet reality I've only seen men do this

As an aside I dont understand why you would want to sit in your own fumes for 20 min, unless it's a 20 min build up to the "big event"

OP posts:
Malin52 · 09/01/2021 03:48

Wtf exactly is 'gross' about taking your phone to the loo? If I know it's going to be some time it come in there with me otherwise I'm just staring at the floor. I'm not actually smearing shit on it.

ChestnutStuffing · 09/01/2021 04:16

Some people are extremely reagular about their bowels, and some also have much less ability to wait or go when they want to. There is also a lot of variation in how often people poo.

I think it's a bit much to complain about how long someone takes to do it. It would be polite in a one toilet household to see if anyone wants to go first if you are going to be a while.

As far as a phone - I wouldn't, because I don't like the idea of some Russian dweeb watching me poo. But people have been taking books into toilets for as long as I can remember.

BaggoMcoys · 09/01/2021 04:48

ExH used to regularly spend 1-2 hours sitting on the loo doing god knows what, followed by a shower. We had one bathroom for 3 of us. He never asked if anyone wanted to go first and, though I did knock when desperate, I resented having to do so. I do not believe anyone needs 1-2 hours to poo, and think he was an inconsiderate arsehole.

User647647 · 09/01/2021 04:58

Two months ago, my 10 year old daughter got home from school with a small,
3 minute plastic sand hourglass to time quick showers and save water.

She showed it to me and said ‘maybe we could give it to daddy for when he goes to the loo’

emilyfrost · 09/01/2021 05:22

@whoamongstus

Agree with PP. Stop sniping at other women who don't fit your weird hypotheses as 'cool girls' and use your words to discuss with your husband that you'd like him to spend less time in the bathroom cos you want him to help with X or Y. Or even, quite reasonably, that you shouldn't have to spell out what X or Y are and that if he knows there's stuff that needs doing, he can use his brain to decide when he can have a leisurely poo or not. No issue with that.

However, I can easily spend 20 min scrolling Twitter after I've finished having a piss even. Glad I'm a Cool Girl 😏 and if my OH needed the bathroom he'd just... Come in and tell me to hurry up instead of standing outside seething that he needs the bathroom? Amazing how communication works.

Absolutely this.

Your relationship and communication issues are your problems to solve and trying to pretend every man is as selfish as yours or that sometimes women don’t need to take that long is just embarrassing and a cover for your problems.

HNY2021 · 09/01/2021 05:39

They aren’t just pooing in there that’s why.

TooManyKidsSendHelp · 09/01/2021 05:43

I agree with you but don't see why anyone who disagrees needs to be labeled as a "cool girl". I hate that term. We don't all have to think and feel the same way just because we are women.

SimonJT · 09/01/2021 05:44

@PatriciaBateman

I'm convinced it's down to the prostate gland (male G-spot).

Isn't necessarily a more pleasurable affair, but certainly can be. Wish I didn't know this!

It really isn’t. Thats like saying women who prefer tampons do so because of their g-spot.
tara66 · 09/01/2021 06:05

Too much information - yuk!

MusicalTrifleMonkey · 09/01/2021 06:16

@Graciebobcat

I don't think taking a phone in is unhygenic, you can clean a phone quite easily. But I always find it properly manky that some people have reading material in there, which just sits there all the time absorbing the foul miasma, plus the questionable hygiene of being repeatedly handled while someone is taking a dump. Urgh.
Get we keep hand towels and toothbrushes in there!

I always make sure the kid is shut before flushing (for either) and try and get DP to do the same thing and our toothbrushes have covers on them because I remember years ago on How 2 they said that it’s came out when flushing...It haunts me

TooManyKidsSendHelp · 09/01/2021 06:25

*I'm convinced it's down to the prostate gland (male G-spot).

Isn't necessarily a more pleasurable affair, but certainly can be. Wish I didn't know this!*

Wtf

ememem84 · 09/01/2021 08:11

In the mornings dh goes for a shower and takes at least 45 minutes. Some of that is spent on the loo reading his phone. It infuriates me because he regularly has a go at me for spending too much time on my phone.

I’ve been awake today since 4am. Dd since 530 and ds since 630. Dh is still sleeping. He’ll Grace us with his presence in a bit and will then disappear for a shower.

peak2021 · 09/01/2021 08:29

@HNY2021 spot on!

orangeribbon · 09/01/2021 11:13

Just let him have his fun and use a different bathroom.

NeverDropYourMoonCup · 09/01/2021 12:51

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

Ok I promise I'm not a troll but people who spend ages: Do you feel you need to go then nothing comes out? Is it that you have to "push" for ages to go? Is it that you can't go until you've sat and relaxed a while?

It's hard to understand when (like me), you need to go, and whatever's coming out does so quickly, comfortably etc.

EDS/POTS - the system doesn't work as effectively and can just decide to stop at zero notice.
ShalomToYouJackie · 09/01/2021 13:20

This doesn't seem like a big deal, just go and tell him to hurry up because you need a wee?

I spend ages sat on the loo scrolling Mumsnet in the morning, if DP got this worked up about it I'd tell him to get lost. And if he needs the toilet he tells me to hurry up and I do 🤷‍♀️

HarrietPotterska · 09/01/2021 17:02

We had this problem - we installed another toilet! He just takes ages to poo!

FrostedCranberries · 09/01/2021 17:06

Oh god. I do this when I take a crap.

PlanDeRaccordement · 09/01/2021 17:09

It’s annoying. My DH does take awhile but he had medical reason for it so it doesn’t bother me as much as my teen DDs with their hour long showers or 2 hour long baths. This doesn’t include hair and makeup time because they do that in their bedrooms.

waitrosetrollydolly · 09/01/2021 17:12

Have a 'power cut' where the wifi goes off, each time he goes in there, it might speed things up a bit.

TheGoogleMum · 09/01/2021 17:15

DH has ibs as the excuse for 20 minute toilet trips. Sometimes it was hard going for me when we rented a house with just 1 toilet. More than 1 toilet was absolutely essential when we were looking to buy somewhere! I get much less annoyed now theres always a toilet free somewhere in the house (although he akayas uses the one with toothbrushes in in the morning so its still a bit annoying I can't crack on with getting ready if he gets there first)

Doingtheboxerbeat · 09/01/2021 17:34

I can spend days on there with my phone and if I'm slightly drunk and very comfortable, I have been known to fall asleep Blush. I live alone though - ooh just found another reason to love my single life, fancy that.

PinkPiranha11 · 09/01/2021 19:04

I’ve literally given birth to a 9lb baby in less time than it takes my DH to have a shit. I’m not joking.

borntohula · 09/01/2021 19:10

@BakeNVac

There’s a saying isn’t there? “There’s nothing so overrated as a bad fuck and nothing so underrated as a good shit”

It’s very true IMO.

I look forward to a good shit some days. This is what the world is coming to.

Well we need something look forward to at the moment.
SpudsandGravy · 09/01/2021 19:10

Not a male thing. I have a female family member who does something similar - just impossible to get the idea into her head that she doesn't own the bleeping bathroom!