To be sick of selfish family Zoom calls?

[Freewheelingoryx]

Just venting! I know there are more serious things to stress about. But is anyone else sick of family Zoom calls where you are make sure you ask after your brother's business, your sister's painful wrist, your nephew's exam, your nieces's on-line judo class, the cat, the cat's mother etc etc, and not one person asks you one single question about yourself in return? It's happened so often now that DH and I have started to joke about it.

@Freewheelingoryx

Just venting! I know there are more serious things to stress about. But is anyone else sick of family Zoom calls where you are make sure you ask after your brother's business, your sister's painful wrist, your nephew's exam, your nieces's on-line judo class, the cat, the cat's mother etc etc, and not one person asks you one single question about yourself in return? It's happened so often now that DH and I have started to joke about it.

Are they too busy answering all your questions to ask any?

Are they too busy answering all your questions to ask any. 😂😂

Different people have different ways of communicating. I never ask people a raft of questions like that as I reason that they have a tongue in their head and if they wanted me to know about their youngest's swimming lessons they would mention it. I do ask generally how things are so that they can feel free to talk about whatever they would like. Are you missing cues?

Are we on the same calls? I stopped asking questions (or asked them whether they wanted to know what we'd been doing - to which they took umbrage).
So thankfully calls are a lot shorter and much less frequent nowadays.
Win win

Are they too busy answering all your questions to ask any. 😂😂

No! Not generally, there are many lulls in the conversation. I don't butt in all the time.

Are you missing cues?
Maybe I am. Especially if everyone who answers on here says that IAMBU. Totally open to that possibility. But they seem to be only inter rated in talking about themselves. Not everyone by any means. But quite a few.

Cosyjimjams . I like your approach.

Is @Calmandmeasured1 = @Sinful8?!

I have a strict no Zoom policy. That would solve your problem.

One thing I have been so grateful for throughout this last year is that not one single person cares enough about me to want to see my face on a screen at regular intervals it sounds hellish to me having to socialise like that.

Aquaramine they are getting less frequent that's for sure. I do like seeing my family though. Just not econvinced that that some of them want to see us more than they want to talk about themselves. I feel bad entertaining that thought though.

YANBU. It is like real life plus 10. The chatty people talk non-stop and the quieter ones can't get a word in edgeways. Then Chatty says 'oh it was so great to catch up, same time next week?'.

Youboughtmeawall yeah I guess I should be careful what I wish for.

Ask fewer Qs, start talking about yourselves or matters of interest to you. Or stop joining the calls.

@LittleMissnotLittleMrs

No, I'm not @Sinful8. I think the OP responded to me rather than @Sinful8 by mistake.

One Zoom call, Christmas Day. FIL treated us to watching him eating with his mouth open. Then regaled us with how wonderful he is because he got his niece to your her youngest DC a select box on his behalf.

Thankfully they don’t use technology any other day of the year.

Do an experiment @Freewheelingoryx. Next zoom class talk solely about your family. Ask no questions, then say “great talking to you!” And end the call. Keep doing it on every call and see how long it takes them to stop calling

Class= call

Are you a quieter member of the family? Perhaps you just need to blow your own trumpet at bit more, to give them something to ask you about?

You are being nice and polite, but you are the one who bring the focus on them. You ask, they reply. Stop asking.

I hate small talk. My MIL put us all through a right performance on Christmas Day - it's like being in a bloody interview.

Ask about the important things as and when they happen, don't ask a for a verbal newsletter of updates.

If you want to tell people about something, tell them.

My 3 yo DS is good at bringing grandparent zoom calls to an end when he gets fed up. He quite enjoys them reading a story to him over Zoom or doing a puppet show, but when he gets bored, he says "Sorry grandma, need to go potty" and wanders off to play with his toys. Could you come up with an adult version of that? Diarrhoea? Food poisoning?

What I really hate is that no call is ever less than an hour. it's too long to stare at a screen making small talk,

Zoom calls banned in this house!

I had no idea people were having so many Zoom calls. I'm much like @YouBoughtMeAWall I think! I text my mum/dad most days but I don't speak to my siblings unless it's a birthday or we need to know something family related like an address or birthday date or something. We do video call the in laws once or twice a week but only for about 10 minutes so they can see the children. Do you have to do the calls?

I'll give it a go Youboughtmeawall .

Think I need to borrow a three year old Messallover

Joking apart I hear what you are saying Iknowhatyoudidlastsumner and thecatsthecats maybe by trying to be polite I am being too interrogative. I won't ask next time and see what happens.

The thing that happens though is that quieter members of the family, including young and teen DC, get completely ignored. And not just once either.