To be sick of selfish family Zoom calls?

[Freewheelingoryx]

Just venting! I know there are more serious things to stress about. But is anyone else sick of family Zoom calls where you are make sure you ask after your brother's business, your sister's painful wrist, your nephew's exam, your nieces's on-line judo class, the cat, the cat's mother etc etc, and not one person asks you one single question about yourself in return? It's happened so often now that DH and I have started to joke about it.

I just wish I had some family to have a zoom call with :-(

Posting in a rush but just wanted to say thank you to those of you who 'get it' I really appreciate your responses, and good to know it's not just me.

And to the others, thank you also, point taken that a different style of etiquette applies to Zooming and I should try and be more adaptable, so as previously mentioned, I will just sit back and let it flow next time. And I'm more than happy to join in conversations about books and music.

It's a bit strong to say I am "seething with resentment" and again, I am not literally asking a "detailed list of questions" - I'm just a bit pissed off that time and time again the same people seem to be giving forth while everyone else listens politely and it would be nice if they occasionally showed an interest in others. I didn't think that was a particularly controversial view but obviously some posters on here strongly disagree and it's useful to hear their viewpoints.

Thanks all.

And Startdove LaurenMcSporran and others . I love the bank statement suggestion!

Oh god I hate these and I've only had one on Xmas day! Awkward pauses anyone? Then my stepmum filling in for them with inane nonsense. Jeez. I'd rather wait and catch up in person.

It is because you are a good listener and they have an expectation that that is your job in the family

Too true!! Everyone we know has become sooooo self obsessed it’s crazy!!!

No one wants to zoom with me and my dc.
I’d love to have this problem.

YANBU. Christmas Day ones were a nightmare - 3 different households all trying to talk at once; family members trying to just use it as a quick way of thanking everyone for their gifts and avoiding doing thank you notes: awkward and bored teenagers.

Oh dear, my zoom account has stopped working.
There, solved

Fancysomechips sorry to hear you are feeling isolated. . It's certainly hard going ATM for so many people. I do appreciate the fact that I have family to whinge about in the first place, and its good to be reminded of that fact.

Nomorecheese yes the unnaturalness of it doesn't help at all!

Mummy

Thanks again everyone.

I have felt the same in the past - why dont they ask about me - but then realised that others often just tell their stuff without waiting to be asked. Now I do that too when I feel like it and it’s quite fun. Felt weird at first, with nobody giving me ‘permission’ to start my story, but I recommend trying it in the next conversation lull and see how it feels. You might be pleasantly surprised!

Ugh I hate conversations like this op!
Its exhausting. Amd I have to wear makeup .
I just am an extroverted introvert if that's possible. I love people but need time off from them to go into my own little world as people and all their problems are too complex sometimes .

I feel your pain. DH family started a quiz night in April. It’s still going on !! Only now instead of being two hours of a Sunday evening ruined it’s now three hours of a Sunday afternoon ruined. Ridiculous, he wonders why I won’t join in

How often do you have these calls? I would find it tiring.

I’m a bit like a sheep in headlights on a zoom call, mind goes blank forget everything! I find them weird and stressful but have to admit it’s really nice to see everyone’s face and have a little chat but I do struggle with it, just need it to be in small doses not these mammoth parties that some think they need to be.

I must say I'm very impressed with how you're answering OP.

For me, a good conversation starts with a question, but then flows on naturally to other subjects.

"Did you enjoy that film you were going to?"
"Sort of. It got boring in the middle, reminded me of that play we went to see."
"Oh god yes, that was so funny. I actually read the book the other day..."

Asking another question resets the conversation to the starting point, I find. You DO get around to how things are in a conversation like the other, but after you'd had an actual conversation of interest.

And even if I'm not asked how I am, I end up feeling a lot better after the above sort of conversation than after exchanging a tick list of check ins about the mundane things in life.

I'm not even getting included on a lot of "family" zoom calls as I send lots of cards so "They know things must be ok". We are actually not that great.

I am starting to re frame my thinking about family along the lines of dead wood for my efforts. I'm sure a lot of families will be streamlining their commitments after this.

Sometimes when you're talking to the sort of a person who just does one word answers you need a lot of questions to just get through a conversation with them.

I’ve done two a week since April last year when DS was born. Mil and Fil are separated so it's all the same information being repeated. Their news is quite interesting but predictable from Mil. I just wish Dh would let me know in advance, so I'm not walking around in my pants and a vest top 😣

22B33Fr33 sorry things are tough going currently

I find them exhausting too Celestine (and a bit wieird I'minthenew) I don't think I could cope if I was on Zoom meetings all day. Fortunately our family Zooms seem to be in a post Christmas lull ATM.

Yes point taken about "permission" to speak thereader and I get what you are saying about letting conversation flow thecatsthecats and about Zooming being better then no contact at all. There is something about actually seeing the people you are taking to which is nice, especially the DC and teens.

Wish they were one word answers Snuggy

You've got to admire their enthusiasm Cornishgorl44 and Merryweather

You know, I posted on here on a thread about the worst thing I ever did and while it was about a mistaken zoom call, it certainly did gain notereity. If it's notereity that you are after, I can recommend nothing more than when the call connects, line the camera up with your naked arse, then jiggle it up and down and say "what about my butt butt" over and over. They certainly won't forget you in a hurry

Livefornaps

How did you manage to do that?

My family don't do them. I think that you are lucky

Ha ha, I relate to this. Mine involved my family, all of whom own their own houses and whose jobs are secure and who have lovely big gardens and dogs to keep them company telling me repeatedly how unaffected they are by lockdown, whilst I panicked daily about my business in a damp overpriced rented flat alone.