Page 7 | Do I have a right to be angry about this? (Trans related)

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 07/01/2021 15:01

@WishingHopingThinkingPraying

Maybe if OP accepted the group was a vaginismus group rather than a women's group, she'd be a bit more accepting if what they are trying to do in terms of inclusivity?

They’re trying to ram their inclusivity down women’s throats rather than thinking about how their group would be support women with the issue.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 07/01/2021 15:02

@Ereshkigalangcleg

We'll, there was a case recently of a transwomen joining an antenatal group, and pregnant women who refused to go along with the delusion were ousted.

I'm sure there is more than one case of this, but the one I'm familiar with is worse: MTF trans person wanted to simulate the experience of pregnancy and stillbirth (!) and joined a pregnancy group. Woke women tripped over themselves to show how terribly inclusive they were by fawning over them. A woman who had actually had a stillborn baby complained that it was offensive and deeply insensitive. Guess who got kicked out?

This is unbelievable!! Who on earth would ever want to experience a still birth?!? That’s nothing to do with being trans.

Kit19 · 07/01/2021 15:02

vaginismus only affects women therefore it is reasonable to expect only women to be there no matter how they identify/present

and as always I note the beeeekiiind calls only ever go in one direction....

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 07/01/2021 15:03

For once I would love to see those who confuse preserving women's rights and safe spaces with being mean and transphobic, actually engaging with concerns, talking about why these issues are important to us, instead of just name calling.

Dropping the "you're all mean bigots" bomb and running off isn't a discussion.

Oh and I'll bet that the number of support groups for conditions like this aren't in their hundreds so maybe the OP doesn't have a huge choice on offer? It isn't always as easy as "find another club". Perhaps it might be more suitable for the TM to form a club of their own which could be wholly tailored to their own very unique experience, if they're not willing to be around other sufferers who will use female language.

DressingGownofDoom · 07/01/2021 15:03

@Viviennemary

It doesn't sound like it's the group for you. Find a different group. Why make an issue out of it.

Maybe there isn't another suitable group, so the OP has been disallowed support for a women's health problem because they're more worried about being inclusive than actually supporting women.

Derbee · 07/01/2021 15:03

but yes, some men do have vaginas and may suffer from the same condition

This is the most fucking ridiculous thing I think I’ve ever had the misfortune of reading. If it wasn’t so ridiculously infuriating, it would almost be funny

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 07/01/2021 15:04

You sound very defensive though.

Thanks, I feel very defensive.

I'm fed up of the same shit getting spouted on here "trans people need to fuck off and get their own spaces".

Then when those transgender people fuck off and get their own spaces, like this group, they need to fuck off, yet again because it still isn't good enough.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 07/01/2021 15:05

This is unbelievable!! Who on earth would ever want to experience a still birth?!? That’s nothing to do with being trans.

It's difficult to articulate an explanation for this while remaining within talk guidelines.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 07/01/2021 15:05

@Kit19

vaginismus only affects women therefore it is reasonable to expect only women to be there no matter how they identify/present

and as always I note the beeeekiiind calls only ever go in one direction....

Won’t someone please think of the poor men!!!

viques · 07/01/2021 15:06

@Spidey66

A very good longstanding friend of mine, who I have known through work for nearly 20 years and have socialised with many times, recently 'came out' on FB as being a transman. I was surprised, though it does explain why he is quite small and slight. All these years I thought he was a gay man (has been in the same relationship the whole time I've known him. He had written an article which he uploaded to his FB. In it, he explained he had had hormonal treatment and a mastectomy but no surgery to his genitals (though I'm not sure if he's had a hysterectomy....none of my business.) So, yes, he's a man with female genitals.

Aside from that, would the group possibly include sufferers partners, who are there to support them?

And I am sure that your lovely friend would not insist on joining a prostate cancer support group and demand that they used the term “men , non binary people and trans men” in their communications, or refer to “cis men” as a derogatory and demeaning term. I am equally sure your nice friend would not demand that someone was sacked for mis gendering him, or for stating a biological facts such as adult male human beings (known as men) have a penis, testicles and produce sperm.

Unfortunately , it is open season on removing natal women’s rights to acknowledge and celebrate our own biology and discuss our own biology.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 07/01/2021 15:06

Then when those transgender people fuck off and get their own spaces, like this group, they need to fuck off, yet again because it still isn't good enough.

You have absolutely no idea whether that is the case, that it's "their" space

ToadsThePeanutButterSnob · 07/01/2021 15:08

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

You sound very defensive though.

Thanks, I feel very defensive.

I'm fed up of the same shit getting spouted on here "trans people need to fuck off and get their own spaces".

Then when those transgender people fuck off and get their own spaces, like this group, they need to fuck off, yet again because it still isn't good enough.

No problem.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 07/01/2021 15:08

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

You sound very defensive though.

Thanks, I feel very defensive.

I'm fed up of the same shit getting spouted on here "trans people need to fuck off and get their own spaces".

Then when those transgender people fuck off and get their own spaces, like this group, they need to fuck off, yet again because it still isn't good enough.

They didn’t get their own space though, did they? They took women’s space yet again.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 07/01/2021 15:08

You have absolutely no idea whether that is the case, that it's "their" space

Its a space that is clearly inclusive of them, hence the 'issue' in the first place

JanewaysBun · 07/01/2021 15:09

I agree that "hi women" would be fine howeeeever
I'm not generally a fan of hi ladies so I tend to go with peeps or hi there

Ereshkigalangcleg · 07/01/2021 15:09

All such spaces are at risk if they aren't perceived as "inclusive" of everyone but women

Kit19 · 07/01/2021 15:10

Then when those transgender people fuck off and get their own spaces, like this group, they need to fuck off, yet again because it still isn't good enough.

This is a group for people with vaginismus - where did you get the idea that it was for trans people?

also arent we constantly told that third spaces are transphobic?

Carolofthebellies · 07/01/2021 15:10

Wait when this thread will be taken down just like yesterday's one.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 07/01/2021 15:10

As people said, it's more about having to watch your language when talking about female issues.

RavingAnnie · 07/01/2021 15:10

@Nc109283485

Nc for obvious reasons. This is a very personal issue to me which I am understandably sensitive about, so this may be why I feel this way. I am perfectly happy to be told I AMBU! I believe trans people deserve love and respect and a happy life just like everyone else. So why did this concern and anger me?

I have a condition called vaginismus which has been very traumatic and caused me lots of grief over my life. In my eyes it is a very personal and female problem. (Look if up if you're not sure what it is).

I have tried to join a support group on a social media platform to really get to the bottom of it and sort it out. I wont say which one as dont want to 'out' either myself or the group involved. My request was pending and a message sent. I assumed this was to confirm I definitely suffer from this condition and to make sure I wasn't some strange pervert, but no! The administrator messaged me to say that before I was accepted I would have to answer a 'test question' as this is a gender inclusive group. Will I be addressing group members as 'ladies, men or everyone'. The tone felt quite aggressive and if I did not pass this test I would not be admitted.

My first thought was are men allowed to enter this group? Do I really have to speak about my vagina in front of 'everyone'? Why not say hello ladies (and the occasional transman who currently has issues with their vagina) no I have to address everyone? Wtf?

I honestly don't know what to think right now but this group clearly isn't for me. But maybe I just need some re-education?

Personally I'd be grateful for the heads up that I wouldn't want to be part of the group. I am fed up with language being policed and the word "woman" erased.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 07/01/2021 15:11

They didn’t get their own space though, did they? They took women’s space yet again.

Oh, right, I must have missed the part in the op where she explained that she knew who made the group, and why and when and the reasons behind it being made a trans inclusive space.

I'll go back and have a read and get myself up to speed.

(Although I think you're forgetting that a large proportion of trans men still have vaginas and associated problems, and are therefore in your eyes, women who need help too).

Nomorepies · 07/01/2021 15:12

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on the poster's request

Ereshkigalangcleg · 07/01/2021 15:12

(Although I think you're forgetting that a large proportion of trans men still have vaginas and associated problems, and are therefore in your eyes, women who need help too).

Yes. As a tiny minority, their feelings shouldn't trump all other women's.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 07/01/2021 15:14

This is a group for people with vaginismus - where did you get the idea that it was for trans people?

Transgender people still have genitals

StrangeLookingParasite · 07/01/2021 15:15

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

No it isn't inclusive of me as a woman with the condition if I am going to be made to feel uncomfortable for talking about my lived experience as a woman.

So they should oust another set of people to make you comfortable? Can't you see the hypocrisy there?

Can't you see yours?