Do I have a right to be angry about this? (Trans related)

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Nc for obvious reasons. This is a very personal issue to me which I am understandably sensitive about, so this may be why I feel this way. I am perfectly happy to be told I AMBU! I believe trans people deserve love and respect and a happy life just like everyone else. So why did this concern and anger me?

I have a condition called vaginismus which has been very traumatic and caused me lots of grief over my life. In my eyes it is a very personal and female problem. (Look if up if you're not sure what it is).

I have tried to join a support group on a social media platform to really get to the bottom of it and sort it out. I wont say which one as dont want to 'out' either myself or the group involved. My request was pending and a message sent. I assumed this was to confirm I definitely suffer from this condition and to make sure I wasn't some strange pervert, but no! The administrator messaged me to say that before I was accepted I would have to answer a 'test question' as this is a gender inclusive group. Will I be addressing group members as 'ladies, men or everyone'. The tone felt quite aggressive and if I did not pass this test I would not be admitted.

My first thought was are men allowed to enter this group? Do I really have to speak about my vagina in front of 'everyone'? Why not say hello ladies (and the occasional transman who currently has issues with their vagina) no I have to address everyone? Wtf?

I honestly don't know what to think right now but this group clearly isn't for me. But maybe I just need some re-education?

Oh, I thought I said that it would be good if everyone changed to more neutral language, not just women.

But they're not going to. So it's a vain expectation because men get to keep their words, and women don't.

Are you going to answer aviut the black birthing bodiesdifficult

I'm not, no, I am not black, I have no black loved ones, I wouldn't speak on behalf of a group of people who's struggles I have no idea about as I don't feel qualified to do so.

I have my opinions, of course but I'm not going to debate about something I don't have much of a clue about.

And it's a political problem, because as a class of people who are disadvantaged because of their sex, it obscures sex based oppression and misogyny.

But they're not going to. So it's a vain expectation because men get to keep their words, and women don't.

So people shouldn't try at all?

How about 'women will never be equal so we should just stop trying'?

So people shouldn't try at all?

Not where sex-based language has an important role, no. Unlike you, I don't wish to obscure language about important health issues only experienced by one sex.

I truly don't mean to offend anyone. But please can you answer my previous question. WHY is it good if everyone changed to a more 'neutral' language? What does it achieve? Don't you think it just causes confusion in a lot of scenarios? What is the purpose of it when we already have perfectly good words to describe things? Is it really all just about hurting someones feelings? Or reminding them of something they just don't want to be reminded of? Genuinely interested.
If so, that's a lot of people having to change their way of thinking and language just to avoid hurting someones feelings.

Saying everyone is no big deal. It won't end at that though, and pretending it does is just..well either naive, or manipulative.

Yes. It is.

I'm not, no, I am not black, I have no black loved ones, I wouldn't speak on behalf of a group of people who's struggles I have no idea about as I don't feel qualified to do so.

I have my opinions, of course but I'm not going to debate about something I don't have much of a clue about.

I'm not disabled, and I don't have any disabled loved ones. However I recognise grossly dehumanising language when I hear it and could call it out if I heard it about disabled people, or black people. You should try it.

Just to be clear because I like to be thorough when calling out nasty "inclusive" bullshit: the phrase under discussion is black birthing bodies as an "inclusive" term for "pregnant black women dying in childbirth"

Shouldn't we all call out racism when we see it.

Why when shown just how damaging and offensive neutral language can he do you suddenly lot see fit to have an opinion when you do on every thing else

All lives matter, eh?

You think I'm ALM because I said I have no lived experience of what black people go through and don't wish to speak on behalf of them?

WHY is it good if everyone changed to a more 'neutral' language? What does it achieve? Don't you think it just causes confusion in a lot of scenarios?

In a world where women change their names to more traditionally masculine sounding names to further themselves in their writing careers (as one example) if everything was a bit more neutral, especially as the world moves to work more remotely, people will be seen on their merits and not based on stereotypical assumptions and be negatively impacted by that.

But you are negatively impacted when written out of your own suffering.

You cant solve problems you cant see as I said.

You think I'm ALM because I said I have no lived experience of what black people go through and don't wish to speak on behalf of them?

ALM is more than a movement, it's a state of mind. And pretending women don't have sex-specific issues which deserve to be addressed politically by a woman-centred rights movement meets the definition.

Why when shown just how damaging and offensive neutral language can he do you suddenly lot see fit to have an opinion when you do on every thing else

I didn't actually look at your photo because I don't feel qualified to get into talking about language used about black people. Of course racism is beyond wrong, and I don't condone it at all, in any way, but it isn't my place to speak on behalf of black people.

I have a lot of opinions on the trans debate because its a massive part of my life and has been for many years.

I won't be drawn into the subject of race again, this isn't what I am on this thread to talk about.

But you are negatively impacted when written out of your own suffering.

You cant solve problems you cant see as I said.

This poster isn't going to concede one inch. They can't, because their whole card house comes down.

You will debate on neutral language though.

So would "white" birthing bodies be acceptable?

Trans birthing bodies?

Disabled birthing bodies?

Anything this poster doesn't have a lame glib gotcha for they either ignore or "don't wish to answer".

I mean if its harmless and mon offensive then one of those applies right? And you are ok with being referred to as such?

In a world where women change their names to more traditionally masculine sounding names to further themselves in their writing careers (as one example) if everything was a bit more neutral, especially as the world moves to work more remotely, people will be seen on their merits and not based on stereotypical assumptions and be negatively impacted by that

I'm honestly not sure if you are kidding with this statement and, all things considered, I think you probably are as it is so ridiculous.

I think it is very telling that your solution to the problem of discrimination against women is not to tackle the cause but to suggest women should hide and change their outward appearance (in this example, their name). This is so backwards, it's rather depressing that you either can't see that or you can but still think it's a good idea. It's also completely unrealistic. Are you expecting all women to use a pseudonym, to lower their voices on telephone calls, to never be seen in public? Really progressive.

Personally I would be ok with birthing person or person giving birth, I don't think its a massive deal to have your preferred name/language on your notes though, there's lots of other information on there and this could be part of that.

But you would agree that a name that doesn't even include thinking of you as a person , calling you a birthing body is offensive?

Anything this poster doesn't have a lame glib gotcha for they either ignore or "don't wish to answer".

What have I ignored? I've answered everything I have seen.

The only thing I haven't spoken about at length is the issue of race, which I don't feel qualified to do.

By that reasoning alit of the activists are
straight white malesw"allies " who also are not qualified talk about womanhood or race but are seemingly able to complain and be taken seriously on all these matters when it comes to so called "inclusive" language

I think it is very telling that your solution to the problem of discrimination against women is not to tackle the cause but to suggest women should hide and change their outward appearance

I didn't suggest hiding or changing anything. I gave one example of women changing their name to further themselves and said more neutral language would help combat them feeling the need to do that and being seen on their merits alone.

By that reasoning alit of the activists are
straight white malesw"allies " who also are not qualified talk about womanhood or race but are seemingly able to complain and be taken seriously on all these matters when it comes to so called "inclusive" language

On this thread I have talked about trans men being able to join an inclusive group to talk about their vaginas. I haven't mentioned 'straight white males' at all.