To take myself to A&E

[PumpkinSpicedLatte]

Not sure if this is the right place , my apologies if not.
Quick overview - I’ve posted here before regarding PND.
DD almost 5 months now
I take Sertraline 200mg
Been a battle to get support so far as I didn’t meet the criteria for severity but I soon spiralled .
I have a husband and also a very close friend who have been above amazing & thankfully is in my bubble so she’s been and helped me many a times, because she ‘gets’ my situation more than DH-nothing personal to DH he just doesn’t get mental health the same as my friend seems to.

I’ve woken today feeling absolutely beside myself mentally . Extremely sleep deprived . DD is not sleeping well at all, I got 2 hours sleep the last 4 days broken into 10 minute intervals of DD waking. I just don’t feel good.
For the first time ever i am contemplating taking myself to A&E to get proper help, but my issues are:
Currently we are having to isolate as DH has covid , I’ve tested negative and have no symptoms , but I’m guessing that means I can’t leave the house to go to hospital due to isolating? The other issue is I also breastfeed my daughter exclusively and she will not accept a bottle , and I can hardly take her with me can I ? Also don’t know how to tell DH that I’m feeling that bad without breaking him.
I’m at a loss, can anyone help?
Please be kind , if possible .
Thank you

Google the number for your local crisis team and see if there is any support they can offer you. They often work with you in your home and they may be able to find a solution that keeps everyone safe.

How long have you got left of isolating? Have you yourself been tested? I would think turning up to A&E was a definite no in this situation. However you could ring 111 or any other crisis numbers (hopefully another poster knows some) and explain and maybe they could get you help that way?

Being sleep deprived is the worst (PND or not) so this won't be helping. Can you husband or friend have to baby while you have a nap today?

Also I had a bottle refusing breastfed baby and I felt a little trapped. As soon as he got to about 10 months he suddenly loved a bottle! I loved breastfeeding but I also loved losing being the only person to be able to feed/calm/stop crying/get to sleep. It was good to share the load and feel like I could go out (until covid ruined that!)

Oh OP that is a difficult situation I hope you feel perkier very soon!!!

In the meantime I would have a serious conversation with your DH. It can be tricky understanding mental illness without ever experiencing it. But you should try. I'm sure he'll get it. Maybe he can take your DD for the evening while you have a rest. (Could it be teething?? My DDs were terrible teethers. Check the lower gums. We used to give half dose paracetamol before bedtime)

You should also talk to your GP or maybe you have a helpline? GP surgery should know about it. It's called something along the lines of Perinatal Mental Health Service. They should be able to help you also on whether you should go to the hospital or not and the intricacies of it

Good luck

I'm sorry you are feeling so unwell.

I would phone 111, explain the situation, and ask to be contacted by someone from the crisis team (or whatever the equivalent is in your area).

In the meantime, I think you do need to explain to your DH that you are feeling unwell.

You are not going to get proper support in an emergency department.
Phone your GP, perhaps. What support are you looking for? It sounds more like you need some sleep time than anything else. Sleep deprivation is definitely not helping.

First step might be to hand baby to friend or husband for a few hours and go to bed to sleep - or take the baby in with you and feed/sleep together. Baby might not take a bottle from you but might from your husband or friend. If not, they can go for an hours walk with it and the infant will survive just fine.

I would think you could reassess how you feel after a few hours sleep and a warm bath.

Thank you for your kind responses, to answer the above questions-
I have until Sunday 23:59 to isolate , so I can go out as normal (well as normal as can be in lockdown) from Monday.
The issue with crisis team is they have refused to help me because I’m under perinatal mental health records , because a psychiatrist rings me every 6 weeks to ‘check in’ , so crisis team are not allowed to be involved as they are seen as treading on other professionals toes . My GP tried to get them to call me but they won’t . My friend can’t help today due to us isolating , and my husband could yes but he’s currently still in bed snd baby is napping on me now , finally .
She could be teething as she is unsettled , and hopefully she’ll learn to take a bottle as I’m due back to work in April so she can’t be on the breast all the time then .
I feel so lost

Honestly I don’t think you’d get the support you’re looking for at A and E. Can you sleep today whenever the baby can nap and get a chunk of sleep by getting the baby to nap on or with your husband?
Perhaps you’re coming down with covid too as we found it affected moods in our household- a bit like pmt.
you could certainly call a crisis MH team or your health visitor to signpost you to some other support. Or call your gp to look at a change of medication.
But sadly I don’t think. A and E when you really should be isolating as you’re likely to come down with covid very soon despite the negative test.
You need to tell your husband how bad you feel. Why hasn’t he noticed you’re not getting any sleep?

Thanks everyone . I’ll get there

I don't know if you can because of your DH having covid but if it is allowed would your friend come and have your DD in your home so you could get some much needed sleep but she's still in the house if she needed to breastfeed?

I've had 5DC and I had PND twice and I breastfed all 5DC and sleepless nights mixed in with PND and breastfeeding was bloody awful and so much harder than when I didn't have PND.

If your friend can have your DD and his happy to let her,you need to sleep,sleep deprivation is bad enough on it's own but along side depression it feels so much worse.

@Isadora2007 he literally sleeps through her crying / babbling at night . It takes me AGES to wake him up he’s such a deep sleeper . And the last 6 days he’s been in the babies nursery to sleep away from us with his covid . So he’s not heard a thing.

You could call your psychiatrists secretary and ask for an urgent callback. Explain about not being able to access crisis support etc

But get to sleep while the baby naps. Prioritise sleep over anything else as sleep deprivation even for people not experiencing MH issues will have this effect.

Bless, it’s so hard. You can sit quietly while baby is napping and enjoy that beautiful thing you grew inside you. Those tiny hands, that squidgy neck. Take pleasure when you can.
Then get your husband out of bed and ready to take the baby out and then look after it for a few hours whilst you sleep today.
How olds the baby? Is he doing a fair share of giving you time for a lingering bath or undisturbed sleep catch up?

You’re not lost, you’re exhausted.

Ring 111 and tell them your situation. They may be able to refer you to a service that can help without you having to go to a&e given your risk of transmission to others.

Sleep is the priority - my mental health fell off a cliff when my daughter was waking constantly and I needed some help. It's often notin the earliest months but a few months down the line that it kicks in. Is there any way you can split night duties so that you get more rest?

I realise as you're bf that's hard, but I mean can you feed and the DH do the resettling? Or could you co sleep?

If I was your friend I'd take the risk of covid and come over to give you a break. You sounds at your wits end. Sleep depreviation is awful. You need to prioritise napping all day today when the baby does.

How is your DH? Is he actually ill with covid or one of the lucky ones with no symptoms? When did he test positive - how long has he got left to isolate?

What you need is sleep. When your baby wakes, feed her and then get your husband up, give him the baby and go to bed. Tell him to only wake you when it’s time to feed her. Stay in bed all day. You are extremely sleep deprived and it makes you feel so unwell. Been there!

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. You can't rock up to A&E though, you just can't if you're meant to be isolating. There will be ill folk there, some perhaps immunocompromised - please don't do that to them. Call your psychiatrists secretary and say that you need to speak to someone urgently. And take care of yourself.

OP, you poor soul.

First off, sleep. Do anything you can to get some sleep. Whenever your baby sleeps, you should try to too.

Basically I second what everyone else says. You can take a baby to A&E if you e no option, but in reality you’ll have a long long wait to get limited real help as you’re not in immediate risk of suicide nor are you section-able (fortunately). GP, Crisis Team, NHS number are all good options.

I feel for you OP. I had terrible post natal depression and ended up hospitalised after DC2. Also had to go to A and E more than once to see the on call psychiatrist and obtain sedation.

You need to try to sleep today if you can. Can you wake tour husband and hand over the baby to him for the day. Do you have any formula in the house which he can try to get into the baby - I know he’s a bottle refuser but maybe cup or syringe feeding as it’s an emergency.

Also agree that you phone the consultant’s secretary to escalate your care. But if you need to go to A and E to keep yourself safe then you should absolutely do so. This is an emergency and they will have a psychiatrist on call for exactly this sort of situation. Make sure you tell them though that you are in a self isolation period so they can take the necessary precautions

You are exhausted. Sleep deprivation is literally torture. Tackle that as a priority. The rest MAY improve from there, it may not, and then you know to get help.

Has your DH been completely staying away from you both or just sleeping away?

If he has been mixing in the home, put him and baby in front of the TV, with baby safe toys and tell him he is in charge. he is to bring baby to bed for feeds and (importantly take her away again afterwards).
Between you set up a nappy change area for him downstairs.
Tell him that you know he is sick, but unless you get some sleep you will be too.

Sleep. Take up snacks and juice upstairs and go to sleep. Wake up, make sure you are eating and drinking enough and go back to sleep.

Repeat as necessary.

Could you be coming down with something? It can add to the feelings.

Could you try another provider like the Samaritans? A breastfeeding group or health visitor? A private counsellor?

Any chance of paying someone to come in and you can have some time to yourself or sleep or whatever? I think of it as like paying for a haircut or a physio appointment

It’s a really wierd time - I hope you’re ok.

What you need is sleep
This! A&E can't help with that.

Why is your baby waking up so much? I had two babies with colic who cried all the time and the sleep deprivation was horrendous but as soon as this was sorted, all became normal.

Oh pumpkin, I remember you from your other thread. I was hoping things have improved. You need to prioritise that, the reassess. Your husband needs to step up here. Can you nap in the car? I have done this before so I couldn't hear baby.

I'm so sorry you still are struggling.

If you're actively suicidal or self harming for which you need medical attention or you're experiencing psychotic episodes etc then A&E is relevant.

Otherwise therapy asap may be more useful - can you afford to pay for private? It will all be on Zoom.

Also checkout the Togetherall.com (formerly the Big White Wall).